Marriage - How Do You Know if You Are Ready for This Important Step?

Marriage is a big change in married life and personal life, a change for which we need to be prepared (a less drastic change for partners who already lived together but still a change)…

And one of the biggest mistakes of future spouses is not to see the forest because of the trees: more precisely, to focus on marriage, on the wedding itself and not to think about what is essential: marriage, what is to come!

Rushing is a mistake that young people who are enthusiastic, in love, and who live here and now sometimes make a mistake - ignoring what is to come.

Marriage is a commitment and a change of personal life and the married life that must be understood and assumed - only when the partners think about the marriage that is to come, are they ready. Only when you have already discussed your life together is marriage no longer a dramatic change that is difficult for you to adapt to - it is just a step forward that you want.

When you are ready for marriage:

When you're scared… just a little! Everyone lives with a fear of change - even when that change is seen as positive and desirable, there is a certain reluctance. After all, your life is on a new path. It is normal to have emotions and be a little afraid… but only as long as you know that this is what you really want and how long you feel that everything will be fine…

When you are not excited about the ring, not the wedding, not this special day… but what follows: your life as a married couple, your future together. Focusing only on your wedding day and forgetting what is next is the wrong step.

When you have created plans together. Getting married can be extremely romantic - but it takes more than that to make a marriage work. And although it doesn't sound romantic at all, you are ready for this step if you have made concrete plans with your partner: you know how your life will unfold at least shortly; you know you want similar things in your life; you have the same desires and expectations.

When you feel that this is the right person for you. You feel that you have experienced enough, you have no regrets that you have not had a more adventurous youth and you know that you want to stay with your partner. You know that you love him/her like you did not love someone else and only by looking into his / her eyes do you know that you are doing what you want.

When you can say you know your partner. Speeding things up is never good for the couple - so before this important step, it's a good idea to take the time to get to know each other, to adapt to each other, and to married life. Knowing who you are going to build your life with is important - knowing that you are compatible and trustworthy.

When marriage is a step forward and not a step back. Specifically, when this change is not an obstacle to what you want from life; when it doesn't stop you from fulfilling your dreams, it encourages you. When you are a couple you are stronger and more confident in the future and not limited.

When you are not yet ready for marriage:

When you take this step because of pressure. There are so many kinds of pressures: first of all, family, relatives who ask you when you are going to sit at home, make a "living" in life, "grow up"… And friends who almost all do this age are engaged or married, so you end up wondering why you do not "keep up"…

You come to think that this is what should be done at your age, although you do not feel so sure that you want it. And the partner - who wants the wedding so fervently that you want to make him/her happy, even though you don't know if that makes you happy too!

When in doubt, ask yourself, "Is this the right step?" When you get into a real panic and keep asking yourself questions, when would you like to postpone at least a little the big day because you need time to think… well, maybe you want to get married, but of course, you are not fully prepared.

When you feel that everything is going too fast and you get lost, you get carried away and you don't think about what you are doing, you need to stop and realize if you are doing what you want to do.

When you get scared, you won't be with anyone else. That you will not kiss someone else for the first time, that you will not experience the emotions of the first date, that you will not sleep with anyone else… When you feel that you have not enjoyed enough the freedom to be alone. When you start looking around and thinking "how good it looks, it's a shame I'm not allowed to do anything anymore" and not "I want".

When you're not happy. When you do not feel happy at the thought of marrying your loved one when you do not smile just thinking about this person when you do not feel happy, but rather stressed and panicked.

When necessary and not desired. When you do it just because pregnancy has arisen… or just to have legal status to leave the country as a family… In these situations, even though marriage seems like the only option, think carefully about what you are doing.

Because no matter how much you think it's the best option, maybe it's not. As an example: is it better to get married because you will have a child, but in a few years to go through a divorce because you were in a hurry because it was too soon. After all, you were not suitable?

When you're not sure what the other person is feeling. You know you want it, you know you're ready - but unfortunately, you feel a reluctance on the part of your partner. You wonder if he loves you and if he wants to marry you. It is time to discuss because marriage means that both partners are ready and that the relationship is at a stage where this step is not a change that is difficult to accept.