Loving him is the most important thing

One of the most successful things I have done since I can remember is to fall in love, with Wang Bo.

I met him on April 26, 2005, at 3:00 am.

At that time, I was a freshman in college and had just left my parents to spend as much time as I wanted in college. But I didn't know how I wanted to spend my time, and probably most girls do too.

That night, I couldn't sleep until three o'clock, so I wandered around in the hallway and saw the girl in the next dormitory go back to her dorm and get her coat and hurry out, so I asked her why she was going, and she said people were singing on the grass, and I said I would go too. When I got to the grass, I saw two guys playing guitar and singing. The handsome boy sang a song, and I thought his voice was too clean, so I pretended to be an insider and asked, "Whose song is it?" He said, "Mine."

I was like, no, I have to pick him up!

I just started pretending to learn the piano. He was a gentleman and didn't touch my hands while he was teaching me to play the piano. So I thought, I have to pick him up, how can there be such polite people! Later he said he also wanted to pick me up at that time, just too nervous and shy to know how to express it.

Two days later, we got together. After a week, we broke up with our respective ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends. Another week later, a good friend broke up with him over the incident. In the following month, I was ostracized by Wang Bo's ex-girlfriend and Wang Bo's best friends who supported his ex-girlfriend. But at that time I was stubborn and found it exciting and enjoyable. What shocked me most was not even all of the above, but that Wang Bo told me that he loved me.

Does he love me? How can he love me? How can a person love another person? The first time he told me he loved me, I said, "I like you too. But then he kept saying he loved me, and he said, "You have to love me too. If two people are afraid to admit that they love each other, then sooner or later they will not love each other. If both people admit that they love each other and keep trying to love each other, then they have the potential to become impossibly perfect love."

He said it beautifully. He was simply a poet.

He gave me a head start on real love. Of course, I thought it was so exciting - the whole thing of trying hard to fall in love properly and seriously was so exciting.

I thought, "If I'm a good actor who can act in a play, then I'll act for the rest of my life. From then on, I was on the scene. This is the most serious role I've ever played, and it was like I was living inside the script. I was thinking, no matter what, I will not break up with him, since he said he loved me since I believe, then I will beg to be good to him for life.

Later, the words came true. In those years, he was a poet, an idealist, a painful believer who could not move his legs, could not open his mouth. So with him, you also have to beg.

He told me a lot about the philosophy he believed in at that time, and I realized that philosophy is not all unintelligible. When he told me about Sartre, Nietzsche, and Plato, who now seem to be the great vultures, I admired him so much that I tried to study, analyze, and make it my own.

Most of the philosophical truths he told me I have now forgotten because they do not fit my own summarized worldview. I remember one clearly. He said that others are hell. I thought, yes! That is so true! But I found that for him, the "others" also included his girlfriend, me. How can I be his hell? If I am his hell, then how can I act in this play? So I decided that I would not be his hell. I would be him! I worked hard to become him.

His life at that time, sleeping during the day and staying up all night, writing or playing games in front of the computer, doesn't sound poetic at all, because what would show that he was a poet at that time was not these actual lives, but because he would think about death in his head every day.

When he said he wanted to die, I cried, I kept crying, and then I said, "Try not to die, you're going to die, let's die together.

Now it seems that I was too forgetful at the time, I just felt tired and happy because he could not find any reason to blow me away. He felt very annoyed and helpless, but also felt as if I was not more than one. The "forget me" worked, and I became him in his life first.

He was a polite and tolerant person to everyone, polite, no one ever saw him lose his temper. So when he first lashed out at me, I was scared and aggravated and felt elated.

I think he began to accept me psychologically from that moment on. He trusted me as much as he trusted himself. He knew that even if he lost his temper, he raged, he showed me his most irrational and scary side, and I would not leave him.

It was a year after we graduated from college, and we had an argument over a little thing like I was jealous of him writing songs for his ex-girlfriend, and then he stopped writing songs about love. His rage was funny now, but at the time it was scary. He took the new bag of oranges and pulled them one by one on the wall, so the wall was covered with many orange pancakes, slowly sliding down with juice. Then he went to the kitchen and got a kitchen knife, and I thought, "Oh no, I'm playing big, I'm going to die. As it turned out, he just chopped up his then cherished $1100 guitar, and then he cried.

He read his dead father, shrunk into a ball, crying very sadly. He said, "Dad, take me away ......

All the feelings I had at the time were replaced by heartache. That he was the one no one had ever seen, not even his mom.

After that day, I used the only 1600 yuan we had at the time, asked a friend to buy a full single guitar, and then I ate with him for half a month a 50 cents scallion cake.

In my heart, he is the most simple and kind-hearted boy in this world, and I am lucky to have met him. His past trauma and the pressure of a society that was too complicated and weird for him made my heart ache. He later told me that he didn't want to talk to anyone about those things, about all the little secrets and thoughts in his heart that he didn't know. When we uncovered his scars, again and again, he was in pain, holding back and shedding tears.

Then let's heal those scars slowly together. Now we have become the closest people in the world, I am his mother, his daughter, his sister and sister, his wife and his secret lover, and himself.

As long as we have each other, we don't need any other feelings at all, this world, we don't care if what we see, what we hear, or what we think is real and meaningful, although those sometimes become our conversation, but only to that extent.

As long as he can be there for me, I can be indifferent and interested in the whole world.

Because of him, I could care less about everything that others care about, and because of him, I could also play this big game of my life very seriously and hard. I can work on making handmade soap to earn five dollars, or I can do something else, anything, as long as we are happy together.

You ask me why I am so carefree, I may not be like other girls ...... I look at the world and it is full of him, he is me and I am him. In this premise, all the worries are unimportant.

I think that loving Wang Bo well is the most important thing for me in this life.

I think, if a person can firmly live and grow in philosophy, then, those so-called worries will eventually be transformed into peace and happiness, and even into the power to make you strong inside