Life

So today has been a hard day. Very hard day. One child gets in trouble for being rude and another gets in trouble for doing things he shouldn’t be but he’s 18 so it’s ok (his excuse for everything). Sometimes i just wanna beat his 18yr old butt 🤨

But today has been especially hard because today marks the end of a three year friendship and relationship and not quite romance. My friend/man friend from another country and I are no longer communicating.

See he is of the opinion that it’s ok to let mother control your life even tho you’re 45 yrs old 😳 and can make your own decisions as to what or who you want and what you would like to see happen with that person. But because I happen to be American, and not the same as he is, she will never accept me. I am bad. I want to do him harm because that’s what we do here 😳 and since that American did this to that person who happens to be from her country then by law I am going to do that to him or something worse. There’s no way I can actually be a good and decent person. Oh no. Not possible. I am the devil 😈.

And of course because me being me and me being from the south where if these words ‘Bless her heart’ come out in a certain way or albeit different form then all heck is gonna break loose and by God i am gonna say what i think. Which, unfortunately, was not what he expected or wanted to hear. And me being me, didn’t care 🤣. I gave said opinion and now we are no longer speaking. And although it kinda sucks, honestly i feel as tho it has been building for a while. There have been things that have been said that made me wonder why I am talking to this man. And a lot of the time I just brushed them off. But today after having the night and day i had with my wonderful know it all 18yr old, I was, for lack of a better word, pissed. And I wasn’t gonna take his crap too 💩. And I told him as much. I could have probably been nicer. Because where is he from he doesn’t get talked back to that way. He isn’t used to a southern girl with some spice that speaks her mind. Of course sometimes i speak it a little too much. But that’s no excuse.

So if he wants to go and have his life decided for him because mommy didn’t pick me out then who am I to say anything.

Except, well, I kinda care for him. Just a little. So it kinda feels crappy. But I know ☝🏼 I deserve better. And God 🙏🏼 will bring him to me. This I know.

I love Madea. I love this saying. I’m definitely not perfect 😂 and i DO speak my mind. 🗣

Ya ain’t gotta love me or like me for that matter but at least respect the relationship 🤷🏻‍♀️ And I don’t know why I seem to like a certain type of man. I am doomed 😂😂 Of course I say man but honestly he didn’t even have the balls to stand up for us so I wouldn’t really call him a man.🤷🏻‍♀️ I mean yea he told her about me knowing she was not gonna like it but after 3 years she’s had time to adjust and stop blaming me for the problems of my country. Seems like I’ve heard that recently. Anyway it’s better this way. Now to find someone at least on the same continent 😂😂😂