Life In The Pandemic Times

I will start off today's blog by asking a question that many do not speak about, but I think this topic is important to discuss because it happens to so many of us out there, but no one really ever broaches the topic.

Has anyone ever been ghosted by someone you care about? Whether it be a boyfriend, girlfriend, family, or best friend, it hurts all the same. The people who were ghosted raise your hands. (Raises hand.) I know I have and so have many of you out there.

Let me first off say it is not always our fault. Unless you can actually think of a reason it was done to you, it might be, but there is never a tell for many of us, and we are left without answers. I know because I just had it done time me by someone I cared about for five years, I called this person my best friend, and I thought they would never do something so low. They promised the world but then could not deliver when push came to shove. Instead, I have been cut out, left in the dark, and not understand why it was done to me. Nothing I can think of have I done to deserve this. Everything seemed fine the last we spoke, but then weeks went by with no word or communication. Phones went straight to voicemail. After a time, I tried to see if maybe I was driving myself crazy with suspicion until I called the same number with a different phone and it rang. To say I was hurt and confused would be true. I knew what my friend did is cowardly, and I am still trying to wrap my head around why they did it. I cannot for the life of me figure out what I could have said or done.

I realized after the fact that when you have been ghosted, you go through four stages. If anyone has ever experienced this, you know what they are, and if you haven’t, you need to know just in case it should happen to you. It is good to prepare and arm one's self.

1. Numbness & disbelief.

2. Nausea or hollow gutted feeling.

3. Anger & misery

4. Acceptance

I have found that after someone has ghosted you, it helps to heal by pushing through it. Yes, take the time to grieve your loss of a relationship but do not let it consume you. If someone is willing to burn a bridge with you permanently, it is not always a reflection of you but their emotional maturity.

The best revenge is to show them that what they have done is not going to break you. Instead, work on yourself and what you want because people will come into your lives and make you promise or lead you to believe that they are there for you. Many disappoint you in the long run, but not all will. Some people who know your worth and really believe in you will stick around for good. So please do not give up hope of finding them.

Keep those people in your life and get rid of the rest who can’t. Do not accept second best or constantly hurt by the same people because they are not worth it.

I am one of those that would rather stand on my own feet than rely on people who will fail me in the end. Trust must be earned and won, and if someone loses that trust, they have to earn it back all the same.

Someone once told me trust is like a jar of marbles, and someone will deposit a marble in the jar when they do something to show they can be trusted, but if someone should break that trust, the jar gets tipped over, and then they have to collect them and do it all again if they are all worth your time. If they are not, then move on.

Just remember to do what is best for you in the long run. Do not forget, though, to love yourself and forgive yourself even if you did nothing wrong.

Remember, we cannot control other's actions. The actions we are in control of is our own. So remember to forgive but do not forget and work towards a better goal, better life, and always remember to love one another even if it is from a distance.