Life InThe Pandemic Times

I am going to be talking about unfairness and racism today. I never thought I would experience it in my life because of how I am and what type of person I am, but I have. California has been a wake-up call for me and not in the right way. I must admit that I have never experienced racism in my life until I moved to California. I come from Alaska, and it was never something that I knew. In California, though, it seems to be all I experience regularly. On the street, I stand at a walk sign and have people move away from me multiple times or ride a bus or sometimes even walk down the street.

Right now, my child and I live in a transitional Christian ran place called Hope Gardens. They say that they treat everyone fairly and that they pour into everyone. This is false. I have lived here for two and a half years, and every few of the staff even talk to me, let alone pour into to me in any way. Yet, I have watched the staff socialize with every one of color or other heritages. When every I need to speak to them, they move away while I am talking as if they are trying to have me speak quickly to get away from me as fast as possible. I have let it slide and usually ignore it. I won't lie, though, and say it does not hurt, and it makes me wonder about myself.

I signed up here recently for an event that we had gone to before. It is supposed to be breakfast with Santa. I stood out there all morning only to find out we were not on the list. They could not even inform me of this until the second time we had to come down after waiting for an hour before only to be told to come back later. Even though I informed my case manager at the same time as another mother, and she got put on the list, but for some reason, I did not. Keep in mind all the people in line were predominantly African American or Mexican. Yet, my child and I were one of the only white families out there. Please explain why we were left out, but everyone else got to go put on the list but for us?

This is not the first time this has happened either. Last time was a gala that I had worked hard to get to go to, only to have one of the staff lie and say that I had gone the year before, knowing I had not because I did not fit the requirements at the time. Of course, the next year, they changed the rules to something else. Then the last year at Christmas the same thing happened with a different even. I found out that we were left off a list even though my child fit the requirements, and I had worked all year and followed all the rules so we would get to go.

Yet time and time again, this so-called Christian organization that says they care about everyone has continuously lied or tried to shaft us in some way. I am not the type to put up with it. I am also not a believer in a book of a God these people claim to be for yet can turn around and do such shady stuff.

When I try to voice my displeasure, Yoana tells me I need to be quiet and that they will appease me by letting us go as if that makes everything alright. I told them that they continue to do this every year. One of the staff, Patti, tried to say no, they did not. I turned around and looked at her and said, “Yes, you do.” Then suddenly, we could go through because they knew they do. My kid is happy, but to me, it is a bitter victory and insulting, and the food tastes like ash in my mouth because I had to once again fight for something that I should not have had to. None of these people know my story except a select few who have been fired or removed unfairly. The people who were willing to stand up for the injustice that had been going on here were silenced and removed. They think that this leaves people like me, vulnerable and alone. If they knew anything about me at all, which they don’t, I am not vulnerable, nor would I allow myself to be because I was raised by people like them and have been putting up with it for over half my life.

These people do not understand that I will not be quiet, I will not be silent, and it’s people like this that have to be brought out into the light because their attitude is not okay. It is unfounded and unacceptable, no matter where you are.

I have put up with this for many years now, but today, it was the last straw. We are leaving here soon, and I figured this could be the last event of the Christmas season before moving out, but they had to go and ruin it for whatever reason. I had to keep quiet about the things that go on here, but I do not feel the need anymore. These people need to learn their attitude is not acceptable and will not be tolerated in any way.

I always say be kind to each other and treat each other with love and kindness. Hope Gardens is no exception. The staff needs to treat everyone here with love and kindness, not just who they think deserve it or their favorites. Everyone means everyone!

Live by your own rules. If God says to love and is supposed to be love incarnate, how can you look at yourself and say your religious while treating people the way you do? Please take your advice, Hope Gardens staff, and let love in and treat everyone equally.