Letting things go

She set her eyes on the screen holding tightly to her phone anticipating an answer. Waiting anxiously for some notification that would help her ease the pain in her heart. Her heart was already pounding deep, as she pushed her phone back into the pockets of her shorts. Every step she took while running was exhausting as every person she passed by, every building she ran into was like a hidden shadow that was to be unseen and never existed.

“Why me? I have done everything possibly right. I have fallowed the basics. So why has everything fallen right now?”

As her thoughts lingered deep, she began feeling all the sweat dripping down her face. Her face was warm, but the tears of anger and sadness made it burn a bit. As she stopped at a nearby house, she could see at a distance a young girl jump roping on the streets.

“If only I could go back at that age. When I was free, when I had no responsibilities to hold and when my father could hold me and wipe the tears away.”

As these memories of her childhood nostalgia came across, she began to feel more sadness and reached in her pocket for her phone again. Again nothing. Not a single notification from the person she spent months putting love and faith in. All the messages she did receive were from best friends, family, and even her boss. But right now, none of that mattered. She wanted an explanation. A reason for all this pain she endured. And again, she put her phone back into the pockets of her shorts.

The sun began to set, and everyone in the neighborhood seemed to be going back to their normal daily lives, lights on, watching tv, family dinners. The night began taking hold, she began to feel a sense of calm. It was quiet. The smell of the last night's previous rain gave her a sense of calmness. She stopped, tied up her messed up sweaty long hair, and took out her phone again to turn the flashlight on. At that moment she then saw something peculiar on the pavement. It was a cat trying to tap at a bunch of ants trying to come home to their anthill. A few of them had some bits and pieces of food in their mouths, but these ants kept moving forward. She could see a few ants tried walking around this cats’ paws, and even some walking on top of its paws. It was like they didn’t care about being hit by a furry little critter’s paws, as they continued to walk forward on their six legs trying to make it back to their hill.

Some of the ants walked past her sneakers, as she tried to give these ants space. The cat didn’t even seem to care about her presence, as it kept whacking these ants. As she stared at this weird but funny scene, the cat somehow stopped its goofy act, looked at her with glowing black eyes, and ran away with a jolt. She then felt someone brush into her as her phone slipped out of her hands and went flying.

“Sorry, miss I didn’t mean to bump into you. But you’re sitting in the middle of the sidewalk in the dark. Let me help you get up.”

She looked up all she could see in the dark was a man in gym shorts with piercing but calm green eyes. Took his hand and lifted her from the crouching position she was in, and her legs felt wobbly. The man then walked a few paces where her phone when flying and handed it to her. As the flashlight was on she accidentally pointed it at the man’s face.

“Hey sorry that’s bright mam.”

“Sorry! But thank you for helping me.”

“No worries”

The man then presumed to take out his phone with the flashlight still on. She could see that this man's phones wallpaper was of him and a black lab on the beach. The dog had a stick in his mouth, but a small and visible marigold flower was at the end of the stick. This made her smile and laugh.

“If you don’t mind me asking, where was this picture taken? I love your dog in the photo by the way.”

“Oh, this? Yeah, his name is little. Big yes, but he’s a sweetie. He and I go on plenty of adventures together. Do you have a dog?”

“I do. But he lives with my parents now”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Um, this may sound weird, but would you like to meet him sometime?”

“Oh wow? Yeah sure! I guess.”

“Awesome here’s my number. My name is Nick by the way.”

She exchanged numbers with Nick. Someone she just met on the sidewalk in the dark and smiled again. As he left her phone buzzed. It wasn’t the notification from the person she was hopelessly and helplessly waiting for all day but from her best friend. She unlocked her phone and read it. It said, “I love you and I hope you let go of the past and heal and be opened to new possibilities.”

She took a deep breath in and out fixed her workout clothes and started jogging back home. Tuning back into her favorite songs on her playlist she remembered that past events don’t matter. But it's the little things and the small bits of love that have helped her keep moving in this crazy world. Just like those ants trying to get home with bits of food in their mouth they kept moving forward. Even when they had an obstacle of a cat trying to paw at them, they still kept moving forward.

Life is about letting go of the past and moving forward. And with that thought, she smiled again as her phone buzzed again. And it was a photo of him and his black lab Little, with the stick in his mouth. And the little marigold flower spouting out of it in the ocean breeze.