Is Your Ex-Partner Still Present?

What do you do when your ex-partner is still present in his life? It is never pleasant or easy to come to terms with the fact that your partner is in touch with his or her ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

It is not pleasant to hear endlessly what his ex was like, what they were doing together, or other details about the former relationship of his partner. What can you do? Are you asking him to end any discussions and any connection with his ex? Or do you pretend it doesn't affect you at all?

When your ex-partner is still present in his life, it is normal to be disturbed by the situation, even to feel somewhat threatened. Two people who have lived together a lot, who have had a serious relationship, and who still love each other feel something for each other. And ex-friends can remember how good it was for them to be together, to be nostalgic for their relationship… 

Forbidding him, making scenes of jealousy, and getting him to choose "either me or him / her" is not the best option. Banning any partner directly is a mistake - it makes him feel pressured and controlled. Instead, think about how threatening the situation is for you and your relationship with your partner: is he often seen with his ex?

Do they see their ex dating in pairs or just in a group because they have mutual friends? Can you accompany them to meetings or does your partner want to go without you and not even let you know in advance? Did you know your ex or partner avoided seeing you?

Depending on the circumstances, everything may be normal or it may be a clear sign that your partner still has feelings for the former.

So, when your ex-partner is still present in his life, see how: if they meet in a group because they have mutual friends and if you can move in and stay there if their relationship is long over anyway, it's not anything strange and no matter how much it bothers you, you should make peace with the situation.

If, on the other hand, their relationship ended quite recently, they still only see each other and you are not welcome, you should ask yourself questions. One more idea: ex-boyfriends can really be friends, but it takes time - so if their relationship has just ended, they can't really see each other as friends, but they still see each other as lovers!

Does the partner still have feelings for the former? He stays with you because he wants to forget about the past, but he can't and still meets him/her? Talk to your partner about how you feel and ask him directly why he is still seeing his ex.

When the ex-partner is still present in his mind:

Often, however, the ex-partner left disappeared from his life, but not from his mind. Do you often hear about this ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, does he/she tell you what their relationship was like and what was he/she like, does he/she even make some comparisons between you and your ex-partner?

Does it seem nostalgic after the relationship is over? There is no way you can't be affected and bothered by such a situation. When your partner feels the need to talk too often about his ex and how he was when he goes to places where he went with him, when he compares you to him by highlighting the similarities and differences, it is quite clear that he still has feelings for this.

And even though it sounds bad, maybe the relationship with you is just a dressing-up relationship for your partner, a relationship that helps him get over it, do something else, forget - just can't forget…

Many of us are nostalgic for the past - but no we remain attached to this past and especially we do not remain attached to our former partners, comparing those of now with those of then!

As for the reverse of the situation - what does it mean when the partner does not talk at all about his ex when he does not tell you even the most general details, he avoids absolutely anything that would remind him of his ex? When his ex is surrounded by an aura of mystery and any question about him is abruptly and rejected?

When do you learn not to talk about your former relationship because your partner is sad or annoyed and stubbornly silent? It means that your partner is still suffering - he may not love his ex anymore, but he has not overcome the pain of separation.

When you go ahead with your life and accept a true separation, you can discuss the relationship; when you are still in pain, the pain is too vivid to let you talk about it.

In this situation, the partner needs your support: give him affection and trust and he will overcome the pain, leaving it in the past. Don't force him to talk about his ex-partner if he's not ready.

When he avoids any thought and word that reminds him of the former, it means that the former is still present in his soul, hurting him, but trying to drive him away, to forget about him. And your support will help him forget…

When your ex-partner is still the target of his nerves and insults - it happens like this: your partner is still talking about his ex-partner, but only to swear at him, to highlight what a horrible person he was, to fill him with mud, to say what a massive mistake the relationship was…

This means that your partner hates his ex - which tells you that he loved him a lot… And now, he is trying to move forward, but has not yet overcome the breakup…