Is Moving Together a Wise Decision?

Moving together is an important step in a relationship - move to a completely different level of intimacy, closeness, and communication. But areally ready for such a change or are you overwhelmed by the waves and romance? Do not idealize your relationship and do not think "we can get over anything" - the reality is that not every couple can withstand pressure and change too quickly, suddenly.

Many couples talk about moving in together and make this important decision too early because everything is going very well in the relationship. But I don't give the relationship time to grow, evolve, get to know each, other and get used to each other's various habits.

Many decide to take this step without thinking about all that it entails - some of the changes are not so good… You have to be, personally, prepared for this stage of your life and the relationship has to be consolidated over time, stable and harmonious. It doesn't sound very romantic - but so many decisions made from romance are bad, so it's good to be realistic sometimes!

Tips when talking about moving in together:

You are ready? Think that many things will change in your life. Think that a relationship, before this step, works extremely well precisely because there are not many tensions - and when they exist, you can stay away from your partner for a while, until the tension disappears. Are you, in your life, at that level in which you consider yourself ready for such a change, with all the responsibilities involved?

Even after a year, two years of relationship, there are certain things that you still don't know about the other, that you ally only see when you are him/her/ her every day. Everyone has flaws, annoying habits - and the relationship must be strong enough to overcome the discomfort.

Think about it: "I'll see him every day, he'll be there when I open my eyes, he'll be there when I go to bed, he'll be there when I eat, when I watch TV"… What emotion will this thought give you? Enthusiasm, impatience, fear or a combined emotion - how do you feel when you do bungee jumping? If it's just fear, apprehension, doubt, anxiety, then you better put it off.

You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people. How do you feel about seeing objects in her / her room? Do you find it intrusive and scared or do you like the idea of ​​bringing your things to you?

When you are too scared and in doubt, ask your partner to understand you, tell him/her that you want to live with him/her, but you need some time to get used to the idea of ​​change. If the relationship is strong, your partner will be willing to wait until you're ready.

Habit. You need to give yourself time to get used to your partner. You have to wait until the first crazy and loving stage of the relationship - the first year. Why? Because in the first year, you are crazy one after the other, you idealize each other and you are blind to each other's flaws. But only then do you get to know each other and see yourself in a more realistic light.

Do you have at least a few vacations and a significant number of weekends spent together, just the two of you, at home? Take a test: stay with each other for a whole week and see how things go. But remember: a week is a week, when it comes to moving in together, things are different. The mistake of rushing, assuming that everything will be okay because you love each other, can cost a lot.

Love is not everything - frequent quarrels, major misunderstandings can be stronger than plans. Make the decision and talk about moving in together when you have plans, no matter how vague, for the future together! Do these plans match your expectations for the future? Spontaneity is romantic, but you don't need to be spontaneous now… Talk and plan carefully when and how you will take this step.

Coexistence rules. Have you been talking about moving in together for some time, have you decided and the date is approaching? Then, the most important thing: establish in advance some basic rules of coexistence: divide as clearly and strictly as possible the domestic tasks, depending on the time and abilities of each one.

They don't have to be shared equally - maybe one has more free time to take care of the house. But you must make a clear distinction and an agreement that you try to respect. The biggest quarrels in the cohabiting couples are related to the inequity in responsibilities and domestic tasks and the non-appreciation of the effort made by the other.

Try to avoid misunderstandings from the beginning. An important tip for girls: DO NOT try to caress him, prepare everything for him and do your homework, so that he feels loved, protected, and grateful! The first few months together, you may be tempted to indulge him too much so that he does not regret the choice made. Big mistake and it's just your fault: he will learn like this and he won't understand you then when you ask him to make an effort at home too! "How do you grow it"

Amusement. Perhaps the biggest enemy of cohabiting couples: routine! Yes, it is more convenient now, because you sit together, to stay at home in front of the TV every night! Plan evenings to go out, have fun, see your friends, and don't just be locked in the house. At some point, you will feel the need for something new and you may get the wrong idea of ​​looking for something new outside of the relationship! So, have fun and don't forget about social life.

Space and time for yourself. A good tip: try to get a two-room apart without any financial sacrifices. No matter how much you are in love and optimistic, you will sometimes need to retire to another room, to think, to calm down, to relax.

In addition, although it may not suit you now, will help your relationship a lot: give each other free time, for themselves, one day, every week.

Short periods of separation are only good for a couple and avoid saturation, boredom, the feeling of being locked in a cage. Use each day off to spend time with your family, friends, and yourself.