I Never Thought It Would End Like This

It was a nice fall evening, I was walking home from school, doing what I usually do, drowning in my thoughts. I was thinking about my mother and my grandparents, and how their relationship was. And let me tell you, it wasn’t too good. It was already hard enough as it was living with them. They were planning on moving in ever since my dad had passed away, because they thought it was the “right” thing to do. They thought it would help out my mom by helping her with the bills and so forth. Except they weren’t, and I feel like they knew that but they just didn’t want to admit it. If you know my grandparents like I do, well, then you’d know that there’s one thing about them that they don’t like to do, which is admitting they’re wrong.

They always think that they’re right and even when they know they’re not they’ll just make up excuses and keep saying they’re right even though they’re not. When they moved in with us, I was happy but very, very anxious. I was happy because I’ve always been very close with them and I guess I thought it’d be nice. But I was also anxious, and you can probably imagine why already. But the reason I was anxious and worried was because I knew how things would turn out, and that’s why I feel like I’m at fault for some of this. I knew their past and I knew what was yet to come, and I just ignored it. But anyways, after they moved in, they started doing major renovations to our house like remodeling our kitchen, putting a patio and fireplace in our backyard and so on. Keep in mind that it had only been three weeks since my dad had passed away and they were already thinking of remodeling my house that wasn’t even theirs. Of course, they got permission from my mom, but she wasn’t in a good or steady place at the time. Physically nor mentally. At first, my mom hesitated because she wasn’t really interested in remodeling the house at that time, she was more focused on paying the bills for the house and planning my dad’s funeral as well, but my grandparents insisted by saying “the house will look better than it was before” and commenting on how bad it looks. They persistently kept asking for permission and she was getting tired of it. So that’s when she’d had it and just gave them the answer that they wanted from the beginning.

So afterwards, they remodeled our house. They remodeled the kitchen, the backyard, the basement, and even our rooms. I was happy, but also worried. Happy that the house did look a bit better than it was before, but worried that my grandparents might use this as an excuse or leverage even for something in the future. And of course, I was right, they did use it as an excuse. Soon about a month later, my grandparents talked to my mom about wanting to move in with us. Knowing my mom, she didn’t want them to move in, but she said yes to them anyways. I felt bad for my mom at times because she never really could say what was on her mind, especially to her parents. She also reminded me of myself, because I am also like that. But, she later then helped them put their house on the market, and it didn’t take long for it to sell.

Later on, about four months went by since the remodeling of our entire house, my mom was stressed. She was stressed about my grandparents moving in with us because she didn’t want it to happen. She came crying to me one day after we went shopping. I was upstairs in my room and she was outside my door knocking, saying she wanted to talk. I opened the door and let her in, she started by telling me how much she wishes she would’ve thought things through when she had the chance, because she didn’t want my grandparents moving in with us. She also asked me how I felt about the whole situation. I told her that I was alright with it either way, but in reality, I didn't want them to move in either. I also told her that she should do what she wants, because in the end it was her house and it was her decision. And after that, we hugged, we cried, and we went downstairs to make dinner.

About 1 month had passed since the discussion that my mom and I had had in my room. My mom still didn’t know what to do about the whole situation, until one day. My grandpa came over one day and asked me for his help on moving in some of his things. I helped him out of course and everything was going great, until my mom had told me that she was going over to my grandparents’ house, but she didn’t say why. I did but didn’t think much of it because usually she tells me where she’s going and why every time she leaves, but that time she didn’t. And I soon found out why she didn’t tell me. After grandpa and I were done moving in some of his things, we went to go get some pizza and went back to the house.

By the time we got there, my mom had already returned home from my grandparents’ house. When I saw her she looked a bit nervous and a little stressed as well. She asked if I could make some dinner since she hadn’t eaten yet, and of course I said yes. She asked my grandpa if he and she could talk. He said yes and they sat down at the table. My mom started talking, saying things like “I really appreciate what you guys have done to the house and everything.” My grandpa agreed and nodded, but when she got to the main point of what she had wanted to say, his facial expression, it changed. At that point, I’d figured out why she had gone to my grandparents’ house earlier and why. It was because she’d finally gotten the courage to talk to her about the whole situation that had been going on for over a month. And she didn’t tell me because she didn’t want me to worry about anything. So now all she had to do was talk to my grandpa and it would all be over.

So when she had finally explained it all to him, he got very upset and very angry of course. And even though he was trying to hold it in and not yell, he did end up saying some very hurtful things to my mom. He said things like “out of all the people I never expected you to do this to us” or “ you just ended up using us for your own benefit.” I’m honestly not surprised about many of the things that he said, but he did say them and he did mean them. My mom cried through all of it and I wanted to go over there and hug her but I felt so stuck and confused at that moment, that I didn’t know what to do. Because I knew if I had gone over and hugged her or even said something, my grandpa would’ve automatically said something like “oh, so you’re on her side?!”

And yes I am, but I didn't want to cause more conflict than there already was, and I also didn’t want him to hate me. After the 2 hour long conflicting conversation that they had, my grandpa had finally left, but I felt at fault for some parts of the situation and conversation. I ended up hugging her tight and crying there with her for a moment. And after that, I didn’t know what to do and I just couldn’t stop thinking about what was going to happen to our family, or at least what was supposed to be our family.

About another month had passed by and it had only been me and my mom in the house. It felt really weird, because my mom just acted like everything was normal, as if the whole situation had never happened, and what I really wanted, or more likely, needed was to talk about it. I didn’t know where my grandparents were living because they hadn’t come over or contacted us in weeks. And I did want to call them to see what had happened, but I also felt like they didn’t want to talk to me, so I didn’t risk it. Part of me was worried because I didn’t know where they were or if they were okay at least. I then ended up thinking rationally and thought, that they probably found another place to live like an apartment or a small house.

Eventually I found out, and it wasn’t in much of a good way either. I found out they were living in an apartment building one day on my way to the store with my mom. We had stopped at a gas station and near there was an apartment building. I then saw them walking out of it. I told my mom, and she decided to go over and talk to them. We drove over to them and asked them how they were doing and asked if this is where they were living.

They responded by saying that they were doing just fine but in a rude tone and they also did say that they were living there. They did ask me how I was, and I responded by saying I was alright. But after that, they didn’t have much to say to us, especially my mom. My mom and I then left, went to the store and went back home. When we got home, I went right to my room. I was crying tears of confusion and sadness. I didn’t know what to feel and I didn’t know what to think. All I did know was that I missed them and the way our relationship used to be. Of course not the arguing and the fighting, that I didn’t miss. But I did miss how we used to talk to each other and didn’t have to act as if nothing ever happened. I just really missed that feeling, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I never thought that our family relationship would’ve ended like this, but there really wasn’t much I could do about it, so in the end I just let it be.