I Have No Friends: Here's What to Do

You might have noticed that, as a kid, you found it easy to make friends. But, as you've reached adulthood, your friends list may have dwindled a bit (or a lot). So, not only might you have fewer friends, but maybe you even have difficulty making new friends at this stage in your life. You might even find yourself feeling like you have no friends at all.

This is a familiar feeling among adults. What happened? Why can't adults seem to find people with whom they connect?

Is it normal to have no friends?

Reports suggest that many adults report having few friends or none at all. Among millennial-aged adults, 27% report that they have no close friends.1 Societal trends appear to be playing a part, but there are individual factors that may also contribute to the lack of friendships.

If you're wondering why you have no close friends (or no friends at all), there are a number of explanations that might apply to your situation. Let's take a look at some of the common reasons why you might not have any friends:

You're shy. For some, it isn't easy to start conversations with people they don't know. So you avoid social situations and stay in rather than go out to meet new people.

You have social anxiety. Social anxiety is the feeling of intense fear in social situations. It can be paralyzing and prevent you from doing things that might make you happy, like making friends or meeting new people.

You move around a lot. It can be challenging to make and keep friends if you move a lot. When you start to feel comfortable with a new friend group, you might find yourself needing to start all over again.

You're a loner. Maybe you just prefer being alone. Some people (especially introverts) feel they should have more friends but, in reality, feel comfortable spending time alone.

Your interests don't match up with your coworkers or neighbors. Maybe you prefer tea and visiting coffee shops over beer and watching football games.

You don't know where to look. You might not have many opportunities to meet people in person because of your job or lifestyle and don't know where else to look.

You're trying too hard. You may be putting too much pressure on yourself to make friends, and it backfires because people see you as needy or feel that you share personal information about yourself too soon.

You're not prioritizing friendships. You might have some friends or acquaintances, but you don't really keep in touch, and they eventually stop contacting you as well.

Your friendships are only surface-level. You know a lot of people, but you don't let anyone get close to you.

Your life is already 'full' enough. Maybe you're busy with a demanding job, family commitments, school, or other responsibilities.

The Benefits of Having a Good Social Life

Friends can be a source of emotional support when needed. A good friend is there for the good times, but they're with you through difficult situations or challenging life events. Below are some other benefits of having friends.

Increased happiness. Studies have shown that being extroverted, and consequently having more friendships and social support, can lead to increased happiness.Happiness comes from having a healthy social life. This means having enough friends that provide you with quality interactions.

Personal development. Friendships help you develop as a person. People who have more close or intimate friendships tend to be better adjusted socially than those without any friends at all. Friendship provides the chance to develop social skills.

Reduced distress. Social isolation can increase feelings of psychological distress, particularly among older adults. In contrast, having friends can help reduce psychological distress. This might be particularly important when going through stressful phases of life.

Reduced risk for illness. Having friendships is associated with better health outcomes

How to Keep the Friendships You Make

After you've made new friends, you're most likely wondering how you can keep these friendships. Here are some ways to keep your friendships strong:

Schedule time for your friends. Meeting up with people every once in a while is helpful, but keeping the friendship alive will require you to meet more consistently. This doesn't mean that you have to spend 24 hours of every day together; simply plan meetings throughout the month and stick to them.

Be a better friend. If you want to make friends, you must be a good friend to them too. That means not canceling plans, showing up on time, listening when they talk, and so forth.

Stay in touch. Living somewhere else doesn't have to mean never seeing your old friends again. You could try messaging them on social media to see how they're doing.