I Hate Bullies & Bullying Why I Write About Ghana So Much

Saturday, 19 October 2024

By: TB Obwoge

I have talked about this, I'm in therapy, I've written a book all about the bullying and unwelcoming I lived through in Ghana.

I know all too well that many immigrants, migrants that relocate to the United States endure such hatred from being bullied.

I worked with children for about 27-years in several different roles and settings. Some were in residential care, some in daycare, some in mental health care facilities, many in special education.

Bullying really leaves a mark on the mental and memory of children and lasts into adulthood. I hate it, I hate it so much that I've never allowed someone to be wronged when I'm around. One of the biggest reasons why I don't want to remain in the United States, I really wish my daughter and granddaughter would also leave the US to live in another country.

But Ghana would be the last place on earth that I would ever want my child and grandchild to even visit, let alone live.

From insulting and bullying darker skin Ghanaians, to overcharging, to creating a word for bullying in senior high school but not creating a campaign to end the bullying. Other Black Africans are bullied, overcharged and face discrimination.

Even other Africans on social media from Cabo Verde and Ethiopia were bullied because their languages sound similar to the word 'fart' in Twi. Like can you imagine hundreds of Ghanains, adults, bullying other Africans over the fucking word fart in their native language?

Yes, it happened and yes many Ghanaians were doing this, even stalked a woman off of Twitter.

I know there are many kind people in Ghana, however the fact that so many people are proclaiming that they're the most welcoming is something I've never seen once living in Ghana. People being nice, then turning around putting their hands out for money isn't nice.

As a matter of fact when it comes to Ghana there are many thing I will never understand. The food is so amazing, never saw that as well, people calling me a hater, would make me a liar & a bully.

I spoke with several Ghanaians, they all said the same things, that growing up, they were fed the same foods, their local dishes. Some sadly told me that they were used to being hungrey, sometimes only eating rice.

The 7 Ghanaian children I lived with for almost 4 months all agreed that they were often hungry. Certain foods they had never had before, this was sad to me because a child should never be used to being hungry.

I remember growing up with an abusive, bullying mother, who even though she will soon be 70-years old, is still a bully. When my sister and I would escape our mother's home to our father's we would often be hungry. There was often little or no food in the house, my father lived with his father.

After our grandfather died when I was about 12-years old, my father lived with a woman he had been dealing with, they later had my youngest brother. Even then food was scarce, this made me grow greedy at times when I was around food.

I was bullied in school for being fat, however when I look back at the photos, I cry even more, I wasn't even fat.

Most definately I was chubby but to the point of people calling me names, in class photos, I notice as an adult we were all around the same size.

Children these days are much larger than they were back when I was growing up. Working with children in some schools I was amazed at the fact that not only did many of them stand taller than many adults but their weight is much heavier than the children of my days.

I read the news in several countries in Africa, I post the countries independence days on my nonprofits social media platforms too.

When there are worldwide days and months, I also post about them, especially when they are concerning women's issues. In Ghana every October, there are horrible posts about women's breasts.

These posts will not only be bullying, sexualizing women but they are sometimes filled with misinformation.

However Ghanaians bullying on social media especially has caused me to ignore their news, ignore things posted about their country. Even though I collect the news, posting it all on one central Facebook profile, I tend to skip the comments sections because I am always reminded of how they tend to post such bullying comments to one another.

Facebook pages are blocked everyday from random Ghanaians that some how slither into my DMs. When I post about my book the most, when I share articles, it never ends.

The animal planet shows were where I learned that it made me too sad to continue to watch those shows. In nature animals are animals, there aren't always rules that make them more humane. 

Once I watched an animal documentary on Netflix, this showed 4 to 5 different animals, they were to different countries to show these animals. 

There were these tiny monkeys, I can't recall their names or their country, it was like India or some country in Asia. These smaller, tan colored monkeys had a system of hierarchy which seemed unfair. Their was a kingdom family, then the lower the monkeys went the less food they had to eat. 

One of the families on the lowest level of this monkey kingdom decided to abandon their young. It was so sad, this one lone monkey would often go hungry. It was small, sad and lonely, one of the larger, more powerful monkeys took pity on this lone monkey and started feeding it. 

I was watching this as an adult, as an adult with a child even, this made me so sad. I started to hate this documentary. However it could teach compassion to others but some would simply say its only animals, why care?

This once again, always tied into Ghana, living in a country where people were raised with a culture that sometimes doesn't respect animals. Even though we can all say that the United States is not a kind, caring country.

But Americans do often have pets, we love out pets, there is no doubt about it. Animals are a big part of the lives of many Americans.

In countries like Ghana, animals often times are looked at more as a source of food. The same with children, in the United States, you can clearly tell the country hates children. From the rampant school shootings to the lack of seriousness when it comes to really enforcing education as a priority.

In Ghana, beating children, discipline of children is done often times with a heavy hand. I know that many people will become angry because of the painting things with a broad brush but come on, beating children is a serious issue in some African countries.

But the insulting people, the name calling, the fact that looking different or being different is something that will get you bullied constantly. From even vitiligo to albinism, the colorism is brutal.

I feed an unhoused cat, I later found out that there are more than 3 of them. The one I started feeding is a kitten, the others are older, I have no idea who would throw their cats outside. It shows how shitty a human they are, they should be embarrassed about seeing their cat outside.

Well the tiny Black colored cat is being bullied by the older, larger cats. They've started to notice that I feed this Black smaller cat so they now come to bully it awat from the food. I know now that I am probably too caring.

I wish I could turn off my emotions but these cats made me think about how I was constantly bothered while living in Ghana. It makes me so angry when I hear this narrative about Ghana being so welcoming, that I caused my own bullying.

This above cat, makes me think of the bullies in Ghana, how can somone, grown as myself endure over a year of bullying in Ghana? I mean it was so bad I can remember talking to my own mother who think it one of the worst humans alive and crying so hard.

It was one of the hardest times I've ever cried in my life, Ghana was not a welcoming or kind place for me. Everyday being reminded about my fat-ness, I wasn't dark enough, I wasn't pretty enough, I was a victim walking to many that saw me.

Everyone, even those I wanted to befriend all wanted to take from me, never ever just simply wanting to be a friend. Oddly enough many people in Ghana who were foreigners, stayed close with foreigners. Which is something you can't help but notice, these foreigners were some of the kindest people I ever encountered, not the native Ghanaians.

Even Nigerians, Chadian, Togolese, Liberians, these were the people who often were the kindest but I don't ever hear anyone speaking about how other Black Africans were the most welcoming people in Ghana.

Again, given out 500 buisness cards, traveled from the bottom border to the top border, still Ghanaians will tell me it was my fault.

I HATE bullies!

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©️TB Obwoge 2024 All Rights Reserved