I Cheated on My Husband!

Let's say something happened that you never thought would be possible: you cheated on your husband. It is difficult for both sides to accept.

Although you probably had good reasons since you made this betrayal gesture, now you are more than likely feeling guilty, confused, and upset.

Even if it will be difficult for you, now is the time to ask yourself some questions and make some important decisions if you want to save your relationship.

If the only thought you have is "I cheated on my husband" and you want to fix the situation somehow, read the following lines!

I cheated on my husband: what to do

First of all, if you cheated on your husband, the most important thing is that you both want to continue your relationship. If the betrayed cannot go forward, you are bound hand and foot. If you are willing to make every effort to repair your relationship, here are some things to keep in mind:

1. Realize what you want

No one can be fooled if he is emotionally satisfied. When you get what you want from a relationship, you have no reason to start looking for happiness elsewhere. The animal instinct is stronger than reason only when the latter is clouded by unhappiness.

So, although there is no justification, there is a reason why you have reached this point. It does not mean that your partner is to blame, but that you are not a criminal who no longer deserves to be loved. Humans are complex beings, and situations like this are not always white or black.

First of all, ask yourself if you still want to be in this relationship. Do not let guilt, convenience, and fear of loneliness influence your answer.

Did you cheat on your husband because you felt that the relationship was not the same? Did you have strong feelings for the person you cheated on? It is very important, to be honest with yourself now if you no longer want to cause suffering for everyone, including yourself.

If you feel that it was just an escape and that you are trying to escape from a relationship problem, find out what it is and try to solve it together with your partner. The most valuable advice you can receive when you have cheated on your husband and you do not know what to do is this: be honest with yourself!

2. Tell him the truth

Some people follow the principle that if someone doesn't know something, they can't make them suffer and it's better that way. It is very difficult to assume your betrayal, but that means being an adult and taking on responsibilities.

If you care about your husband, you owe him the truth, no matter how painful it may be. Just doing this mature gesture shows that you are to blame and that you are willing to do anything to fix the situation.

You don't have to give him painful details, but he does need to know what happened. Don't try to minimize everything or justify yourself. Expect his reaction to being heated. After all, you would react the same way to his situation, wouldn't you? Let him calm down at his pace and don't apologize repeatedly, irritatingly, to disturb him even more.

If you don't tell him, not only are you lying to him, because omission is also a form of lying, but you will make your own life a real hell. The guilt will become unbearable and all the past you are trying to bury will come to the surface at some point or another.

3. Break the connection with the other

If you decide not to break up the marriage and try to fix it, it goes without saying that you must completely break up with the man you cheated on with your husband. It will be even harder to do this if the person in question is a friend or acquaintance.

It would be best to never see that person again. Not only will you avoid temptations, but you will let the past be just the past and you will be able to move on.

Send that man a polite e-mail explaining exactly the situation, without dramatizing, without being too harsh, but firm. Tell your husband that you took this step.

4. Don't turn into a punching bag

Yes, you hurt your husband and now you have to bear the consequences. Your partner will probably be more jealous and will constantly remember the betrayal, reminding you of the huge mistake you made.

You will have to accept his mixed emotional states because they are normal. However, some limits must not be crossed.

The fact that you cheated on your partner does not give him the right to be disrespectful or not to offer you any more privacy. In no case does he have the right to control your life, even if you are wrong.

You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people. 

5. Be understanding about sex

Likely, for a long time, you will not have an intimate life that is too bright. Every time he sees you naked, he will think of you and another man, at least at first.

It will be difficult to rebuild your sex life, but not impossible. You have to allow time to heal. You don't have to initiate anything and don't swell if you feel like you're moving away. For starters, this is a great place to start. Respect the limits imposed by your partner, because he needs space.

For your husband to get over this difficult stage of your marriage more easily, you need to give him all the emotional comfort you are capable of. Show him every day that you love him and be patient because nothing holds you forever.

If the thought "I cheated on my husband" bites you and you want to do everything you can to heal this wound you share, follow the tips above and, most importantly, learn from the mistake you made, trying to become a better man.