How Old is too Old?

If you are female then this is for you, does not matter the age. Think back in your life where some of these questions were presented to you. "Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?" "At what age do you want children?" "What age will you get married?" I just turned 26 this year and lately I have been feeling like I am sitting here while my life is just passing me by. I have always been excited for my Birthday to roll around each year however, this year was different. I was thinking back to High School when they asked me one of those heart-stopping questions. I replied "in 5-10 years, I will be out of school and by 23 I will find my soul mate, 25 I will have a stable career and be married and by 26 I will have my first child." Well I'm 26 and I just went through a breakup. I am out of school, but I don't have my career started yet. Everything went the complete opposite of what I had written in my Lisa Frank notebook, in High School.

I had everything planned out, in detail. Why wouldn't I? they forced this idea down your throat as a young person. You were obligated to plan your whole life out before you even really understood who you really were as a human being yet! Society is still this way today! The future is supposed to be something that is exciting and not planned. Teachers/influencers etc. made the future seem scary and would fill us with anxiety. If you were in High School and you did not have the next 10 years of your life planned out, heck you didn't even know what college to go to yet, if at all! well then you were a delinquent, probably not going anywhere in life.

I have bad news for you, this doesn't end at High School. I am 26 and I live in a small everyone- knows -everyone -town. I see my elementary school teachers when I go to the grocery store and I can sense the disapproval and judgement in their eyes as I walk by; "Why are you still here?" "Are you married?" "How did school go?" "Well then what is your plan?" UGH! I DON'T KNOW, why can't you people leave me alone! but of course I did not say that. I would usually just make up something to satisfy them so I could get my stuff and quickly exit the store before anyone else stopped me. really what does it matter? why is there a timeline on life? have you ever just stopped and really thought about that? Well I'm here to tell you, which if you are my age or older you already know but life is messy and very unpredictable.

When I was in college I met a guy and we hit it off instantly, weeks turned into months, which quickly turned into almost 3 years. We talked about marriage and I was on cloud 9 because my timeline was in perfect order. If we married after graduating then I would be good to go. Well God had different plans. That relationship ended and I moved back to my home town to be with my mom during this trying time. A while longer a met another guy and things were finally looking back up for me. I noticed when I was dating someone people were starting to get off of my back.

Pretty soon that relationship ended too, he found someone else and shattered my heart. I couldn't believe this was happening to me again, I told myself I couldn't go through another breakup. I mentally just could not handle it anymore. Ready or not here came the mental turmoil of more heartache. A couple weeks after the breakup is when I turned 26, I know great Birthday gift right? Let's just say this was not the most memorable Birthday I have ever had. Like I said before I was having a lot of anxiety 26 is getting pretty darn close to 30 and I was still single! how was I going to find a man let alone a husband and have children while I'm still in my 30s? I was entirely stressed out and I honestly had to stay away from social media for a while because all of my friends and classmates my age and younger than me were getting engaged, starting their career, or onto their 2nd child! That obviously was not helping me in any shape or form.

Where am I going from here you might ask? who the hell knows. I don't have a plan. I am living in today and not in the past or future. Something my dad always told me when I was a little girl and still to this day. "Living in the past causes depression, living in the future causes anxiety... so stay in today and take it moment by moment!" I never realized the extent of dad's words of wisdom until I grew up and encountered it first hand. "How do you eat an elephant?" one piece at a time. It is healthier and so much easier for someone to live in today and by setting smaller goals first and then before you know it, you will be at your end goal! Life is too short to stress about society's "standard" of what stage you should be at in life and what age you should be when you get there.

Now don't get me wrong, it is important to set goals and have dreams but do not confuse the two with writing your whole life down on a piece of paper and adding a timeline to it. There is no such thing as "perfect timing." It doesn't matter how long it takes you to get to your goal, as long as you get there! Keep moving forward and never let go of your dreams. "The day you forget about your dreams will be the day you will regret for the rest of your life." - Robots