How Can the Age Difference between Siblings Affect Family Relationships?

Many parents want to have at least two children, if not more, the image of a big and united family, the idea of ​​two close siblings loving each other, being an enchanting one; However, no one asks the children what their opinion and feelings are when a brother or sister appears in the family.

Often, the age difference between siblings is significant, with parents preferring a period between the first and second child. But how can this age difference between siblings influence family relationships - especially fraternal relationships?

Many parents wonder if a greater or lesser age difference between siblings is preferable - each situation comes with its pros and cons. A smaller age difference means close needs and interests of the two brothers (or sisters) and therefore a closer and more natural relationship between them.

A larger age difference, over 5 years between siblings, means different needs, interests, activities, rules for each child, which implies some difficulties both for the parents and in the relationship between the children, which will not be exactly one of the equal.

The choice of the right time to complete the family, to give birth to the second child should be related to the desire and preparation of the parents and not to the existence of a certain age difference because in every situation there are good aspects and less good aspects.

How can the age difference between siblings influence family relationships?

The little brother gets more affection and attention. The little one is often the favorite of the parents, who revolve happily around the new and dear member of the family - while the older brother suddenly feels less loved. Although most of the time parents love all their children, the older one can feel how most of their affection goes to the newcomer.

The child requires a lot of attention and care, and most of the time the parents simply can't give the other child as much attention and time. The older brother may feel neglected especially in the first years of the child's life - sometimes there is that feeling that he has come in second.

That is why the child's jealousy towards his brother is born, which, when he feels that the little one is the favorite, can lead to excessive behaviors of attracting attention and protesting. In this situation, both the relations between the siblings and those between the parents and the child suffer.

On the other hand, the younger brother ends up feeling suffocated by the attention and care of his parents. Because he always stays in the family "the little one" (unless a new family member appears), he will be the one treated as a helpless and immature child even in old age - both by the parents and by the eldest.

Often, the child is jealous of the independence and freedom of the adult, who is not as controlled and suffocated by his parents. The child will have to follow stricter rules while seeing that his brother does not have the same limitations.

The older brother is sometimes forced to grow up overnight, to start taking care of himself, his parents being too busy. He has to become more responsible - and not infrequently, he has to mature and take care of his brother when his parents are gone.

An unjust situation in which a child is placed: for it must never become the child's duty to be a caregiver for the younger child. The big age difference between siblings also affects family relationships because of the parent's view of the role of the big brother: he should become an example for the little one, to be the one responsible and the one who is not allowed to do "nonsense".

Many conflicts in the family arise because, as a result of quarrels between siblings or their quarrels, the blame falls on the older one, who - the parents believe - "should know better", "should offer an example "," should be more mature ". The little one gets rid of the clean scarf in many situations, because he is small - "what does he know", while the big one is made responsible.

An unfair situation - regardless of age, both children should be held accountable for their actions - which gives rise to many negative emotions and difficulties in family relationships.

The younger brother sometimes becomes the "slave" of the older one. He is the little one and he is the one who has to obey his parents and the big one. When the older brother begins to be seen by the parents as mature and capable, the little one remains in their eyes for a long time "that little one".

While the older brother begins to have various very "important things to do", the little one has no excuse not to do what is asked of him, not having any worries. Not infrequently, the child must listen to the other and do what is asked of him - the older child can scare and manipulate him in various ways.

The older brother is the "example" and the one from whom the parents have the highest expectations. While the little one receives attention and pampering, the older one is pressured by the expectations of his parents: to be mature, responsible, to set an example, and to achieve school success.

Parents have their first expectations from their first child. So, while the little one can spend his time as he pleases, being protected and pampered by his parents, the older one feels pressured to live up to their expectations and to prove that he deserves their love.

These examples of how the older age difference between siblings can influence family relationships are perhaps somewhat exaggerated for the effect: although as real as it may be, things are not so black and white in reality.

And the truth is that the little one is not always the favorite of the parents, but often the older brother feels that he reaches a second place with the arrival of the new member of the family. That is why parents should do their best not to accentuate these feelings, not to make any of the children feel neglected, ignored, less loved than the other.