How an Always Busy Parent Affects a Child’s Development

The effects of a busy parent on your child can sometimes be more serious than you think, especially if you both work every day and there are days when you get home too late to say good night!

Young children, but even children in primary school, see only your actions - so no matter how much you explain to them that "moms and dads have to work" and that you love him, he will understand and see only that you don't have time for him. !

Let's see what would be the main effects of a busy parent on the child:

If both parents go to work every day, they will feel a lack of affection - for young children, affection means closeness and intimacy, not words! Thus, if he is not given time with his parents, he will distance himself emotionally from them.

In the future, he will be unable to have emotional relationships with other people, to express his affection, for fear of being rejected. Of course, this happens in situations where the child spends more time with the nanny than with the parents, but if you make sure to spend quality moments with the little one, at least an hour a day, he will be free from the feeling of parental indifference.

The child who sees his parents constantly preoccupied with their work will think that he is in the last place in their list of priorities. If he comes to you to tell you something or calls you to read him a story and you tell him affectionately that you have a job, the child will feel worthless. And this will affect his self-esteem in the future, his relationship style, he will think that he does not deserve the attention of others.

The effects of a busy parent on the child are related to the way he spends his free time. You don't know for sure what kind of activities he does at home with a nanny and - when he is older - alone. The nanny can let him play in front of the computer or front of the TV all day, which does not stimulate his intellectual development and teaches him lazily.

Parental education is essential in learning the rules, in socializing, in psycho-social development. Even if you provide him with an experienced nanny or enroll him in a good children's center, the parents must also play a major role in raising the child. He may not learn the rules correctly, the limits of behavior, the reasons why those rules exist.

Especially because you feel guilty for spending so little time with him, in the rare moments together you can pamper him excessively and give him gifts. The child will thus grow up selfish and naughty because he will learn how to play guilt on his fingers.

A neglected child can behave very badly, can be very naughty. It's not that he doesn't know he's misbehaving or that he's a bad kid, but his behavior is a wake-up call from him. When he returns home and sees that he has done something stupid again, it is his reward and his way of saying "take care of me, otherwise, I will do nonsense".

Over time, a child, as he grows up and goes to school, compares himself to other children and compares his family to others. He can see how other mothers take their children from school and stay with them at home, while he only has a nanny or even stays alone!

The child does not understand exactly (unless you have taken care to explain his meaning several times) why you two do not have time for him like other parents, so he may conclude that it is worth ignoring, that it is different. in the wrong sense!

The effects of a busy parent on the child depend on the extent to which both parents are busy and how they can handle the situation and explain it to the child. In cases where the parents are away most of the day, and in the evening too tired to spend more than half an hour with the child, the effects can be more serious even than you imagine.

Parental indifference - real or just felt, imagined by the child - affects self-esteem, confidence, self-perception, development of affectivity, relationship style, intellectual development of the child.

Therefore, to lessen the effects of a busy parent on the child:

When he is small, up to the age of seven, at least one of you makes sure that he gets home by 6:00 pm and that he spends time with the child; you will regain professional advancement when he grows up;

Make sure both of you are together in the evening and that at least one of you spends at least an hour with him before bed; less important is what you do: if you have a job, stay in the same room with him and give him a "job" - he will feel close and will think that you are both doing the job!

Explain to him from an early age (four years) why you can't stay with him, tell him that you are sorry and that you would like to stay longer with him;

Make sure you spend some family time one day on the weekend; even if after a horrible week of work, on Sunday you want to stay in bed all day, involve the child in daily activities, and organize an outing (in the park, at the movies, at a picnic, with grandparents) every week; you will feel like you are still a family;

Provide him with an experienced nanny, with knowledge about children's development, who will not leave him in front of the computer all day; if you don't know if you can be trusted, use an electronic surveillance system;

Buy as many games as possible that involve logic, analysis, imagination, processing, learning to occupy your free time.