Forever Grateful

Forever Grateful for a Quiet Stranger

One peculiarly warm April afternoon, our life was turned upside down when my daughter had an accident while we were playing outside. Looking back, it was one of the scariest times of my life yet full of hidden blessings and miracles. The following days and months would prove to be trying as I juggled keeping everything at home afloat while camping in my daughter’s hospital room. We were in a big city hospital but my two sons at home hundreds of miles away with family.

By the end of the third day, I was emotionally and mentally exhausted. The day started at 5am when they came to take my daughter for her first of many surgeries. The doctors had attempted to warn me it was going to be a long day, the sweet nurses kept checking in with me. After pacing the waiting for hours, when they finally returned my sweet baby girl to me; she was groggy, with casts, bandages and in so much pain.

It was all starting to be more than I could handle.

Later in the evening, they managed to get her pain under control, she fell asleep, her dad also exhausted snoring in the chair next to her bed.

It was getting late the hallways had quieted down and the hospital staff spoke in whispers. I tried to get comfortable and relax, tried to close my eyes but I could not do it. I needed to cry but feared I would wake my daughter.

I needed to get out, I needed a break a moment to be alone. I dug through my purse and thankfully found a pack of cigarettes.

The hospital was ridiculously large and until then I did not pay much attention to where anything was. Not to mention I am notoriously bad with directions.

I finally found my way outside, only to be greeted by a busy street. The sirens, honking and "no smoking sign" was not the escape I needed, so I went back inside to look for another exit.

And then soon, I was lost in dark hallways with closed gift and coffee shops. When I realize I had just gone in a circle there was no holding back my tears anymore. My attempts not to cry were only creating gasps and shivers. Without a Kleenex I was forced to wipe my snot and tears on my sleeve.

Just when I found an exit sign, there was a janitor at the end of the hall. Noticing I was clearly a mess he left his cart and made his toward me.

"Do you need help?"

Avoiding eye contact, I flailed my arms about, pointing to the door. In some combination of babbling sniffles, I managed to communicate I just wanted to smoke a cigarette.

I hurried past him, hoping he would leave me alone. I pushed my way through a big heavy door leading outside.

It was a dark area lined with dumpsters; the sound of big city traffic was at least muffled. I sat on the curb. Wanting nothing but to smoke my cancer-causing nicotine goodness. After, several attempts to light my cigarette it appeared my lighter would not spark a flame. In a fit of rage, I chucked the lighter against a dumpster and wailed out a swear word (the bad one).

And then appearing out of nowhere, there he was. He reached into his shirt pocket and handed me a working flame.

I inhaled my sweet nicotine; I should have at least said “Thank you”. But instead, I just sat trying to stop the sniffles.

"This isn't a very safe place for a young lady to be alone" he said. "So, take your time and I'll wait over there."

I am not sure where he went but I sat and chain smoked through my tears, until I was finally calm.

Once I pulled myself together, I made my way back to the metal door. It was locked. I probably would have freaked out again, but I heard a jingle of keys coming my way.

Without saying a word, he opened the door. and motioned me inside.

"What floor are you going to?"

I gave him my daughters room number because I was not actually sure what floor.

"This way", he said pointing down the hall.

I followed him on to a service elevator, down another hallway, looping around. (I would have never found my own way back). Onto the last elevator things were starting to look familiar. When the elevator door opened, I was steps away from my daughter’s room.

I stepped out and managed to get the words, "Thank you'' out.

"Try and get some sleep now - you need it.''

He gave me a half-crooked smile through the closing elevator and I never saw him again.

Our family spent a good part of the year in and out of that hospital. I always kept an eye out looking for him.

Many times, I sat in the coffee shop watching the busy hallway, that was empty the night he discovered an irrational Women roaming around lost.

One day when leaving the hospital, I noticed the row of dumpsters where I sat crying. In the day light I could see that he was right, it did not look like a safe place for a woman to be alone at night. I imagined getting the chance to say "thank you'' when I could speak words.

I have wished I could tell him after everything my baby girl has grown into a beautiful young lady. I would like him to know that in spite of my obvious break down, our ordeal had a happy ending.

I have often wondered if he knew his kindness, inspires me to always to kind to strangers.

His kindness has inspired me to stop and check on troubled teenage girls in a Walmart parking lot.

His kindness inspires me to stop and help a mom carry groceries to her car on a snowy day.

His kindness inspired me to make forever friends when I took the time to visit with someone who looked lonely.

His kindness makes me wonder what small thing can I do to make someone's day better?

It is not likely that I have crossed his mind since he took the time to stop and make sure I was ok.

Do you suppose 12 years later he remembers me? Maybe crying irrational women looking for a place to smoke late at night is not that uncommon in his world?

What might have happened to me had he not been there?

What would the newspaper headline of said?

"Missing small town girl found dead by dumpster outside of hospital, police are unsure how she ended up on the opposite side of the hospital."

However, because of a kind, silent stranger there was no headline. Just a woman who has been silently grateful for an angel. A stranger who didn't lecture me or speak inspiring words but was just there on a night I wasn't sure how to go on.

Never underestimate what a tiny gesture can do to change someone's life.