First Impressions

The age old cliche first impressions matter is no doubt true and arguably a truism. Particularly in business it is felt that first impressions are of the utmost importance, and not making a good one is said to be lethal to the potential for any future business relationship. The thing about first impressions that one needs to remember is that they are “first” and they are only “impressions.” Impressions are judgments, value judgements essentially. They are the opinion of one person at a very specific moment in time, and they are often based on the most superficial of attributes, the way a person looks or dresses or talks for instance. Being first they are also made in the absence of any specific information as to the actual content of the character of the person being judged. Thus they are almost always flawed, biased, and highly variable from person to person and situation to situation. And yet study after study shows they “matter.” How “matter” is defined is variable depending on the study and its focus, but in business it is most often defined as the desire to do further business with the other person at any time in the future. Therefore, even if we find the entire idea of spur of the moment value judgements based on superficial characteristics made in the absence of facts abhorrent (and I certainly hope most do) we must accept this small evil for the potential benefit it may bring us in terms of future business opportunity. Therefore, we work extremely hard to make a “good first impression” each chance we have to do so. The more important the outcome of the first interaction with another the harder we work to ensure all goes smoothly and our potential business partner is suitably impressed, or at least not turned off, at their first meeting with us be it in person or tele/web com or whatever. The same holds true in our daily lives and everyday social interactions. We strive to make a good first impression and try harder the more important we view the future potential of the relationship with the other person(s) to be.

As you may have guessed already I find this way of thinking ethically challenged, ill considered and counter productive. I do not want to do business with any person for whom first impressions are that important as it indicates very poor judgement and an irrational mind. The same could be said of being friends or lovers with another person in the non business arena. And yet it is one thing to say this and quite another to practice what you preach. It is extremely difficult, perhaps impossible, to form no judgements of another person at first meeting based on their appearance, or accent, or any other superficial characteristic. I challenge you to actually try and do this. Go out and spend an entire week or even day not judging anyone you see or meet for the first time and you will find you cannot. It seems we are hardwired (I really hate that term as it implies the brain is ‘wired’ like a computer and that those ‘wires’ are fixed and unchangeable. It is neither of those things. However, in this case it is the best word I could come up with to convey the point I am trying to make.) Snap judgements/first impressions are holdover instincts from our primal days when making those sorts of judgements correctly could literally mean the difference between life or death. With stakes that high you would think evolution would have selected for people that were very good at this. Sadly, that does not seem to be the case and most people these days are really terrible at it. We immediately judge all other people we come into contact on the flimsiest of “evidence” of our senses. Those judgements come from deep within, outside of the rational mind, and you can no more control them then stop your own heart from beating.

Although you cannot control or stop these judgements recognizing them for what they are can go a long ways toward reducing their influence over your decisions. I argue judgements based on first impressions are so flawed that you should either completely disregard them or, at the very least, view them with the highest of skepticism. Until you have more information (data) on which to form rational judgements anything you believe is almost certainly incorrect. In other words, you may not be able to stop judging a book by its cover, but you always have the option to pick up the book and read it, and you should take that opportunity whenever it presents itself. You will likely find that the book is much more interesting than appearances would suggest. You may even find it is one of the best books you have ever read and won’t be able to put it down until you reach the end.