Do You Want To Attract That Fairytale Relationship?

Prologue:

I just want to start by saying thank you to those that have directly and indirectly inspired me to start writing. Rather you know or not you all are the reason why I've decided to start my journey. My efforts to help people attract healthier relationships is my ultimate goal with this book. The type of advice I've given to people and the success they've achieved after the fact is why I feel it's essential to write this book so again thank you. Now let's get started.

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People always say, why do I keep attracting the wrong types of people? Why can't I get that fairytale relationship I see in the movies? There's women out there with a man that worships the ground they walk on, treat them like amazing queens and give them the type of support and love I've never seen before. Have you ever met any of these people or is this just something you see from the outside looking in? It's important to know the difference between perception and reality. I see too often people mistake the two and see more than what meets the eye. Every relationship is different and each one has similar or a different set of problems from the other. Those relationships could be extremely premature meaning still new 4-6 months or even the longer term relationships could have problems that maybe the spouse chooses to deal with and thus they shower them with anything they can because deep down they really are messed up partners.

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Materialism maybe all a partner can offer which can be appealing to the next onlooker, but I'll tell you this there is layers to successfully finding that fairytale relationship. It is extremely obtainable but you must have good use of law of attraction. Second, you must write down what it is you want in your ideal partner, now its important not to make a grocery list because those types are not realistic. Write a good 5-6 EXTREMELY important qualities you want in a partner and go from there. You have to understand in order to attract that type of partnership you must have yourself together first. If you want trust, honesty, consistent communication, openness, loyalty and the like you have to be able to consistently maintain that vibe in your friendships. If you can practice being a good friend, exercising patience, unconditional love, trust, and honesty with your friends that's the type of practice needed to have a healthy relationship. If you come across someone who doesn't have friends, or can't seem to get along with people for a long period of time they wont be able to do any good as a prospect for a relationship.

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People have to understand no one is perfect and you'' deal with your flaws about a person they're bound to come but it's how you handle and bounce back that will make all the difference. Another key point, don't go after the person that's the most physically appealing to you and let that be what gravitates you to them because you're setting a foundation for a superficial relationship. Just to point out those never last, find a good friend you can tell your deepest, darkest secrets to in confidence but get to know them before doing that. Building a solid foundation in friendship is the key marker in taking that friendship to the next level. A lot of people like to hop right in bed with the person that gets their sexual hormones awake and that’s fine. If you choose to do that just know that’s the only way they will view you. If you'll easily give up your body to him/her what would stop you from doing that with the next person? You set the tone for how you want a person to treat you remember that. Also, a lot of people don’t ask the necessary questions when getting to know someone, they just assume this person is the bees knees then next thing you know they're hurt and heartbroken.

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Some things are just simply not to be rushed and that goes for relationships. The best questions to ask someone that you are pursing are about their upbringing so let's get into some good questions to ask. Did you grow up in a one-parent or two-parent home? Were you ever abused as a child either verbally or physically? What’s the longest you've ever been single? Do you have any examples of successful marriages in your family? What are your short term goals? What are your long term goals? Would you like a family of your own someday? If so, how many children would you like to have? Those are some icebreaker questions that will give you a better insight into the person you are dealing with. Also, for you it depends how serious of a relationship do you really want or can handle. Do you want a real serious heavy commitment type of relationship or do you want something free-flowing and lighthearted? Are you the serious settle down type? Or do you like to have a lot of freedom and space in your relationships? Sometimes, you have to reposition the question for someone to better understand you.

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Understanding someone's personality helps you better to determine if they will be a good fit for you or not. Don't be afraid to ask a person hey are you clingy in relationships? If you feel like they're lying, continue to observe their behavior that will tell you everything. Let them know hey I just want to know now if you're clingy because I don't deal well with clingy people. Are you expecting me to do all the household duties, while you make the money or do you believe in holding your own weight? People please stand up for what you want in the most assertive way possible to get what you want. Now I don’t like to get to deep into spiritual or religious beliefs but who you pray to does make all the difference in attracting what you want. Having that firm belief in a higher source is how you manifest it. If you don't learn how to love yourself for who you are and get comfortable loving your own company a partner will never satisfy that, it doesn't matter how wonderful the relationship is you will always feel something is missing. I'll tell you what that feeling is: LOVING YOURSELF. That empty feeling you have inside is because you are not in tune with who you are. If you don't take those lessons of heartache and learn something from them nothing will change.

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No matter how big or small the situation you got out of was, there is always strengths and lessons to gain from those predicaments. I will say this, self love is easier said than done and I'll tell you why. Depending on your background and upbringing if you are an adult still trying to find a way to love yourself its going to take some hard self-therapy, realizations, internal journeys of self-discovery, tackling your deep seated issues, learning how to deal with trauma you've experienced in your past without self-medicating and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. If you've been abused, had your innocence taken, been taken advantage of, stolen from, been abandoned; those are real hurtful experiences that the average human cant just get over like that. Often times, a lot of people just walk around with that and bring it into their relationships and friendships without even realizing it. You as a human being, have to dig deep inside and find a way to deal with those emotional traumas and wounds with out distracting yourself from it or finding alternative ways to self-medicate. When you choose to negate those experiences that happened to you it stunts your growth as a thriving and mentally healthy individual.

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This type of hurt causes you not to trust people, to inflict your abandonment issues on them, to feel you're not good enough and thus you will treat your partner like they're not good enough even if they are. The way you treat your partner is an ultimate reflection of how you feel about yourself. Lauryn Hill said it best how do you expect to win and you're not right within? Believe it or not that plays the BIGGEST part in finding and maintaining that healthy fairytale relationship you're looking for. Good people do attract the types that need their healing, basically the deeply wounded people and then they eventually get hurt by them. Another thing I've noticed these days, is that people prefer to have there cake and eat it too. Make sure you are aware if that's the type of person you're dealing with because greed can eat away at a relationship. Checking someone's phone, email, social media, pockets and etc. is not the best way to find this out. If you want to find out if a person is selfish give them the option to be giving or to keep whatever they have to themselves. Ask them for a piece of their favorite food or if they're low on cash see if they would still help you out, those types of tests will help you figure that out. If you notice a person is extremely selfish with their time, money and personal things they more than likely will be willing to find a way to have you and someone else if they could. Also, look out for the obvious signs of course like changed behavior but that in itself is a good start. If you've never been single for a long time or had a chance to know yourself now would be a good time to do so. You feeling like you'll never find the love of your life will cause you to attract that circumstance in and of itself, everything starts with training the mind.

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Believe it or not, you have to get to a place within yourself mentally to keep positive thoughts, energy, and vibes in your mind and spirit. That my friends is how you attract the good in life, if you need help doing that or find yourself always having negative thoughts and feelings find a way to continuously distract yourself from it. Do a hobby, read a good book (my book), meditate, listen to soft music, cook, find what makes you feel good and do it. If you find yourself gravitating to people who bring negative energy and vibes, do your best to be as far away form them as possible. Finding yourself having to work with or be around people who vibrate lower then you; pray for them. Listening to music I noticed is what helps me get rid of my negative feelings about people who vibrate at a lower frequency. People don't realize surrounding yourself with negative energy not only can bring your vibe down but have you attracting all the wrong things you don't want to including relationships and friendships. If it becomes unbearable than you must remove yourself from the situation altogether no matter how tough it may be, your mental health is most important. Also, if you can learn how to deal with negative energy and maintain a positive level of peace where they can't get to you, your life will considerably become better. Want to know why? Because you are proving to the universe (whatever you consider your higher source) you can overcome any adversity that's placed in your path and keep a level head. If you can do that, you can handle anything and if you can handle anything you will be blessed 10x over with the relationship of your dreams and a peaceful life that you can only imagine within. Friendships are key parts of life that help you deal with the good, the bad, and the ugly of a person.

Chapter 2

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As I'm writing this book, I'm realizing that a lot of people find it difficult to stay in a friend zone with somebody before taking it to the next level, let's get into some advice I feel will help. What do you or would you do with your friends that you would be too nervous to do with someone you like and want to impress? DO IT! If you do all the things you would only do or say to your friends, do it with that person. Talk about deep, dark secrets that you wouldn't discuss really with anyone, maybe a best friend something like that. Being able to give the raw uncut truth of who you are to a person is scary but it shows your not trying to impress them and it takes the edge off. Once you start to see commonality in the raw uncomfortable truth about yourself with that person, or not even relate to you but not judge you or still want to be there for you past the ugly part of you that's when the bond will form. This way it's based on everything you guys have in common not just what you want them to know. Think about it, when you start off romantically with someone you leave a lot of stuff out about yourself because you want to appeal to them. Stop wanting to look good and just be honest, friends for the most part are always honest with each other because there's no pressure to be more so what's the big deal if they know this about me right? Exactly that's how you make it easy to view someone as only a friend you take your head out of the equation.

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Being able to just strictly be friends, no strings attached is how you can make it to the next level with a person where it can last. I'm sure you and everyone else hears all the time; be friends first with someone to have a lasting relationship. That is so true, if you can have comradery with a person without it being pressure to please them, cater to them, making sure you don't step on their toes, or go against their boundaries makes the bond more free-flowing and less forced. No one wants to feel pressured to be in or do something they aren't ready for. If you set the tone, hey I'm not pressuring you to be nothing more than just a cool homie they will learn to appreciate you more and it shows you are mentally stable. Usually people who force something that hasn't grown into something special such as intimacy usually have control issues and having control issues isn't a good factor to have in a bond. Trying to control the outcome or force a connection with someone will only leave you heartbroken. Trust the plan that is set for your life and you will have less heartache, you have to understand you don't control your destiny you are simply the driver and the driver only. I know that left a lot of people confused reading that but let me get a little deeper with you when I say that.

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You drive your life, make decisions, wake up everyday but believe it or not your destiny is not controlled by you. Of course you can make decisions all day long but have you ever found yourself still not getting what you want based off the decisions you made? As you live throughout life you think you know what's best for you but you find life going in a different direction? Who knows what it feels like getting into a relationship in the spur of the moment and then being burned shortly after by it? That's the result of not taking the time to get to know a person and making decisions based on instant gratification instead of what's good for the soul.

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Even when we think we're going to do what we want to do, things still don't pan out the way we want and that my friends is why I say we are the driver but consequently not the controller of our destiny. I can't think of one person who can handle being hurt or heartbroken day in and day out for the rest of their life, that is why human nature proves that after being hurt so many times we stop doing that very thing that keeps us getting burned. Now that I've covered that, lets get into some more key moves you must tackle to attract that fairytale relationship. It's so important to have a somewhat good or great relationship with your parents or guardian figures because they set the tone for how you will move in your relationships. If you don't have the foundation of love and open communication with your parents the first man and woman in your life it's hard to sustain a healthy relationship. For my men out there, having a healthy relationship with your mom is how you'll have that said relationship with your woman. Be careful with that, being a momma's boy can teach you that you don’t need a woman because you have your mom and that’s definitely not true. Your mother is the first example and teaches you how to really love and treat a woman. If you have to, ask your mom for advice on how to treat a woman I guarantee she won't steer you wrong. Being good at listening to a woman's requests and needs to keep a relationship healthy is great practice to maintain that type of vibe. Knowing how to communicate and comprehend what your partner wants and looking for is important, oftentimes men you are looking for a nurturing form of your mother in your woman.

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Not to say you want a female that's exactly like your mom that might be a little scary, but you want that unconditional love and intimate vibe that she'll love you through everything and honor as well as respect you as her man. Now if you don't have that type of relationship with your mother work on getting that with her it's really going to play a big part in the most intimate parts of your life. If you don't have your mom, find an authority female figure you can trust and pretend as if she's your mom. Same goes for the women out there, having a solid foundation with the first man in your life teaches you how to treat and be there for your man. If you have to, ask your dad hey what are some things you guys look for that will give you great longevity in a relationship because your dad is seasoned he would know exactly what to say on how to treat a man right. Never be scared to ask for help with those types of things, closed mouths don't get fed. Now moving on, the above examples I've given you are exactly the components you need to attract that fairytale relationship. Yes, knowing how to maintain a friendship consistently is helpful but having great relationships with your parents is the biggest factor. Now that I've given you how to attract this fairytale relationship let's get into how to maintain and keep that relationship going longevity wise. People you have to keep a daily open communication with your partner to make it dynamic and fresh. You can start out doing all the right things but maintaining is the most work. Understanding people change and grow all the time, you have to learn how to stay on the same page with your partner as you are growing and learning in your relationship. The woman/or man you met at the beginning of your relationship I guarantee will not be the same person 5 years from now. As you guys grow together, your needs may change, goals, the way you want to be treated may also evolve.

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Sometimes the things you did to get that person, you might just have to step it up a notch to keep that person happy. As life goes on, a persons needs change because as they grow they might have realizations they want more out of the relationship than what they're currently getting. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but that's why its fair to always keep communicating, watching for signs, and always show them they are your priority. If you can notice the new needs and wants of your partner without them having to tell you, do you know how happy they'll be? I don't know one person that doesn't like someone knowing and learning all the little things about them the average person would overlook. Keep going on dates and be consistent, look them in their eyes when you express your love and intimacy for them. Please realize from everything I'm saying that relationships are WORK 24/7 like having a steady job or taking care of a child what you put into it is what you get out of it. When you look them in their eyes and express your feelings about your partner (when you are ready and get to that point), the eyes are the window to the soul and that's the absolute best way to allow them to feel your vulnerability. If you say how you feel looking down at the floor or on your phone do you really feel they'll believe you or even take you or the relationship serious? Figure out their favorite candy, place to eat, where they like to shop, etc. it will make all the difference in the world I promise; it'll make them feel valued like you've never stopped caring about what they want and need.

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Once you feel you are at this point with your partner and your ready for the next step just know marriage is the ultimate of big steps. Make sure you understand that marriage is a lifelong commitment and if you need time take as much as you need. If you know after a few years of being with that person you might need a few more to decide, be upfront and real with your person. Let them decide if that’s a decision they want to make to stay and deal with you a couple more years, if they want something sooner than that, show what you're willing to accommodate and what your not, they will always respect and trust you more if you always keep them updated how you feel and where your head is at. Signing those are like signing your life away and that's not just an understatement. Court battles, fees, etc. is expensive and it's not cheap to get out of a marriage. Make sure you've found your lover and your best friend wrapped into one. When you realize you can't wake up without this person in your life, is how you will know they are the one. If you use my tips, that person will be worth marrying I guarantee that, thank you so much for trusting my expertise to write this book for you all, I enjoyed this experience, This guide should help you attract that fairytale relationship you're looking for, but remember don’t put a time limit on when it should arrive.

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Epilogue

Everyone's path in life is different as well as the timing that is set for every individual. Continue to work on you and focus on your self-love and happiness, don't focus on when it is coming, will it come, those thoughts send the wrong signals and will not allow you to attract it. You have to dedicate yourself to focusing on you only and just enjoying various friendships. Who knows, one of those great friendships can blossom to something more. Thank you again, I appreciate everyone who supports this book and trust my advice, it was my pleasure.

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