Did You Cheat On Your Partner and Don’t Know How to Tell Him or Her?

How do you tell your partner that you cheated, that at one point you lost your mind and made a mistake? It is a difficult problem, infidelity being among the first reasons for the breakup of couples. A first idea: this article is addressed to both women and men - yes, and women cheat quite often! A second idea: this article is for those who have cheated, regretted, felt guilty, and want to save the relationship.

If you are not in this situation, but you were wrong and you wonder which one you choose (if you stay with your partner or start another relationship), it is another situation; a little advice: choose as soon as possible, because although it may seem funny to "juggle" with two people, you will end up losing both!

Coming back, if you betrayed your partner, you regret, guilt grinds you, you wonder how you tell your partner that you cheated, and first of all if you tell him! Although you may think that it is better to hide this little "indiscretion", although you may think that "what he does not know does not hurt him", the best advice is, to be honest.

Accept your mistake, tell him and accept the consequences. If you think that confessing your infidelity will hurt your partner - you're right. But honestly, you should have thought of that before…

So it is best to say! Why? Sincerity is the best (yes, with some limitations), if you don't tell him and find out, he will never be able to trust you again and everything will fall apart.

How well you think you are hiding the deed, most of the time it will be: from another person or even from you! You think you can control yourself, but if your partner knows you, your remorse will give him clues that something has happened and he will find out sooner or later.

In addition, by confessing the mistake, you free yourself from remorse, from the guilt that comes in time to obsess you and affect the interaction between you. So you tell him and you accept the consequences, but how?

How do you tell your partner that you cheated?

Why? Before you confess your mistake, think about why you were wrong, what motivated you to do it? Were you drunk and out of control, were you simply irresistibly drawn, or did the relationship not meet certain needs (sexual or related to appreciation, admiration)?

Think about why you did it because it will be one of the first questions from your partner: "why?"! Think about how to explain this to him so that you don't seem indifferent. If you have done so because you were dissatisfied with your relationship, tell her that you have lately felt ignored, unappreciated and that you have fallen prey to that stranger's admiration.

If you were drunk - well, that's not an excuse, but it's an argument to explain to your partner that you weren't yourself and that you would never wake up like that! Anyway, get ready to explain your reason in detail.

Don't wait too long! A very important piece of advice when you think about telling your partner that you were wrong: don't wait too long! First of all - they may find out from someone (the world is small) or realize for themselves that something has happened.

And if he realizes it first, he will think that you have never told him about it and he will lose all confidence and respect for you. Secondly, the longer you postpone the moment, the more hurt he will be when he finds out, knowing that you hid this from him. Thirdly, you may be tempted not to tell him at all, but you will always live with this remorse and sooner or later it will affect your relationship.

Don't minimize what happened! Don't try to ignore the importance: "it was just a moment of madness", "it was just sex"… Don't think it doesn't matter - something that could break up the relationship is, logically, important! Show that you are the size of your mistake and be humble - accept the offenses that will come first.

He insisted that it was something unique. Insist on a few things: that it happened only once, that you weren't yourself (either because you were nervous, you didn't think, you were drunk). time back, on the fact that you feel horrible and on the fact that you will never do such a thing again!

Accept the consequences. You should decide to tell the truth, to confess the infidelity, because a couple in which there was such a secret would have suffered at some point! But you have to accept the consequences with resignation: first of all, the screams, the insult,s, and the cries. Then, a more rational discussion, in which to present your remorse and arguments.

Then you give the other person time and space to think, you tell him you understand if he needs a little break. But don't leave him/her without contact with him/her for more than a day - you make it clear that you are not trying.

If he asks you for a break, give him a day, a day that is good to spend trying to write a letter telling him how much you care about the relationship, how much you regret it, how you don't know if you deserve forgiveness, but ask for it… Write down your thoughts and emotions in a letter (don't forget regret and humiliation).

Sincerity… with limits! How do you tell your partner you cheated? It's okay, to be honest, but keep some details to yourself! Maybe your partner will ask you: "How was it?", "Was it better than me?", "Does it look better?", "Did you like it?"!

Only a masochist would answer such questions honestly - unless you thought it was horrible! Tell him it was awful, that you realized what was happening to lat,e and that as soon as you realized what you were doing, you stopped everything and left!

If she forgives you… Well, if you had a long relationship or, on the contrary, you haven't been together for a very long time, she/he might forgive you (although men forgive such betrayals harder)! But if he forgives you, it does not mean that you have reached the end, that you have come out of the "mud"!

He/she will test you, follow you, want to show you for a while how much you regret it! Don't insist on apologizing and regretting - by reminding him of what happened. But keep a humble attitude, accept certain criticisms without reaction, behave as nicely as possible with your partner.

It also gives him no reason to be suspicious: trust is hard to regain over time. So, don't go out alone, tell him where and with whom you are and accept without "fit" if he/she wants to check on you! You have to show good faith and show by deeds that it will not happen again!

If he forgives you but pays you? Sometimes betrayal, confused emotions, sadness, nerves, cause the other person to deceive you in turn! Then let them know and wait for your reaction! Here, the most important thing is: how much does the relationship mean to you? If it is really important, swallow dry, you look hurt, but you accept the horrible punishment!

If not, then you finish it and maybe you learn something useful from all this situation… But don't give up your partner too easily: sometimes, he/she may invent that he/she cheated on you, to see how you react and if you forgive him/her in your turn!