Dear Stranger

Dear Stranger,

I saw you today. Sitting on a park bench, enjoying the cool breeze. The sunlight danced off your face like the wings of a Brimstone butterfly. Your hazel eyes glimmered in the light. I stared for a while, admiring your features.

You looked up, and like a frightened kitten, I hurried to a hiding place. Without hesitation I slipped into a soap shop. The salesclerk looked in my direction as I brought a bar to my nose. The scent was strong and rough. It smelled masculine. I imagined you as I peered out the shop window. Relief overcame me when I saw you were still there.

I lingered for a minute or two, then nodded politely at the clerk on my way out the door. The breeze was refreshing, and I felt cleansed. I glanced your direction and was astonished to find a woman talking to you. I was overcome with malice. My body flushed and my head spun. Every ounce of blood drained to my feet as I felt all hope leave my existence. What was wrong with me? I don’t know you. Today was the first time my eyes had ever fallen upon you, yet I felt I needed to know you, to feel your warmth, get lost in your smile and drown in the depths of your soul.

I sat for a while under a shade tree, facing your direction but lost in my own thoughts. Did I believe in soulmates? Love at first sight? I didn’t think I did, but today may have changed my mind. I felt an undeniable connection to you, and I'm not sure why. You don’t know me, but I feel like a lovesick puppy, or worse an obsessed lunatic. I’m neither of those things, but something about you has me mesmerized.

I see that the woman has left, and you are alone again. I watch you with caution. You are reading your book and occasionally laughing at the children at play. Your smile is infectious, your eyes inviting. I want to accept that invitation and get to know you. Intimidation bounds me and can’t get my feet to move, but my heart has already surrendered. I bite my lip. I have been snagged by loves hook, and unbeknownst to you, you have reeled me in.

Dear, Dear Stranger no More,

It has been 8 years since that day. Since the September breeze blew through the strands of my hair and rustled an awakening in my heart. That was the day my spirit came alive. My shy demeanor had a way of always keeping me a prisoner. I was someone who just watched through the looking glass; seeing the reflection of a life I longed for, yet never having the courage to attain.

I thank you for having the fortitude and confidence to venture in my direction. I didn’t realize you had noticed me. You snuck around the back side of the tree I was under and surprised me. I was consumed with my inner turmoil, and didn’t notice you’d left your bench. You smelled of sun-drenched skin and sandalwood. My senses were awakened. The connection wasn’t just my imagination. I looked into your eyes and I could see that you felt it too.

I don’t doubt that the universe was choregraphing our meeting that day. Sommerville park wasn’t a place I went to often, yet that day presented a tugging within me, as my feet effortlessly drifted in that direction.

Thank goodness for the love intervention. Thank you, heaven, above for stepping in and changing my life forever. These past years have been beyond any dream I could have ever conjured up. I am changed. I could never again be the same shy girl sitting under that shade tree.

I have such an appreciation and admiration for you my love; for taking me in and loving me so deeply. You have accepted my flaws, my quirks, my instabilities and have adored me through it all. I don’t have to pretend with you, I can be elementally myself, and that is something I will never take for granted.

It appears that I am a lovesick puppy after all. I gaze into your face, and my emotions becomes a puddle on the floor. I don’t know if I can find the words to express the deepness of love in my heart for you. There isn’t yet a term created to describe it. The bottomless depth of the ocean isn’t even enough space to hold the treasure of you.

Dear, Dear, Dear Lover of My Broken Heart,

I don’t know if a day will be any dimmer than this day. The bleakness of the November sky will forever be the color of my devastated soul. My heart is destroyed and there is nothing substantial enough to fill the crater of loneliness within. You left me. It wasn’t by your own accord, and it isn’t your fault. You have passed on to a better place, and I am left here to pick up the pieces of my shattered existence and find a way to survive this life alone.

You have given me more substance in the limited time we had together than a million lifetimes could have ever offered, and I am eternally bound to you. Thank you for showing me what love is. Thank you for laughing with me late into the night and letting me wake each morning to the smile on your exquisite face.

What shall I do now my love? There is no one to fill your shoes. It took me most of my lifetime to find you, and now I sit here, back at the starting line. I’m alone, with no one to comfort me and tell me it will be alright. Who is going to whisper encouragement in my ear when the voices in my head try to get the better of me? Who is going to hold me so tight that even if the ground were to collapse beneath my feet, I would still feel safe? Whose lips are going to caress mine when I am overcome with passion and desire, or kiss away a tear that is streaming down my cheek? I will forever be alone from this moment until I take my last breath.

I am dreading the service today. I am not sure I will have the strength to get through it without you. But I won’t be alone, will I? You will be there won’t you? I know I will feel your arms around me, holding my body as I shake with emotion. Please be there. I need you to piece my hollow soul back together. You have always been my glue; I will surely fall apart without you.

As I put this letter on your chest, I also put down my heart, my soul, and the life I once shared with you. I will shed an endless stream of tears for you my love. They will flow until the end of time. The beating of my heart has now become the ticking of a clock, keeping the tempo of my life, as it slowly counts down to the next time I will be enveloped in your loving arms, smell your crisp scent and kiss your glorious face.

Yours Always and Forever,

Me..