Colorism

“Your skin is so light - it’s pretty!”

“Are you sure you’re African American? Your skin is too light”

“You’re lucky you’re not dark-skinned”

These are some of the things I’ve heard over the years from the people around me. I hadn't realized right away that what I was experiencing had a term - colorism. Though of course, the way I experience it is not as extreme as how others do. Nonetheless, there's really no other term that can describe it.

The textbook definition of the term is something along the lines of this;

"prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group"

However, if you look at the definition more closely, there are two sides to the term colorism;

1. discrimination towards individuals with a dark skin tone

2. preference towards those with a lighter skin tone

I experience the second one.

Growing up, I knew right away that I was lighter-skinned than most of my family. I didn’t give much thought to it, until I realized what others thought of it.

I’m African American. My parents are Ethiopian, their parents are Ethiopian, their parents’ parents are Ethiopian … I’m not biracial, so where did my light skin come from? Whenever people find out that I’m Ethiopian, they always ask what race my parents are. It always made me feel somewhat frustrated that my ethnicity came as a shock just because of my lighter skin.

I remember always telling my close relatives that I wished I had darker skin. Whenever I did that, they would scold me and tell me I should be grateful to have light skin. But right after that, they would talk about how they wish they had as light skin as me. It was hard for me to say anything back because of how uncomfortable I felt.

Rather than feeling discriminated against, it made me uncomfortable that they preferred my skin color over their own. Then again, I can't say I was any different.

That was when I was about 10 years old. I hadn't realized yet that there were other people who felt the same way as them. It wasn't until much later that I learned about all the different “whitening” products that exist, and how much “whiteness” is idolized in beauty standards.

I didn’t experience any discrimination or prejudice in the way that others have because of their skin color. What I feel doesn’t even compare to those who have to experience colorism in every part of their lives - in social media, the workplace, at school. I always feel guilty when I think about how much I wished for darker skin, and the fact that people consider it “lucky” that I don’t. Why should I view myself as “lucky” for something like that??

Then a thought hit me; why do we always wish for what others don't? I realized that everyone is so busy wishing for something about themselves to change, that they don't realize how much other people covet what they have.

It's really that basic thing that your parents try to drill into you from a young age - "be grateful for what you have." Of course, like most things, that's easier said than done.

I doubt that that can solve the issue of colorism, especially since the issue goes beyond what you think of your own skin color. Even going back to the textbook definition, there are others who will discriminate and hold prejudiced beliefs against those who have darker skin.

While I can’t even begin to compare my experiences with or completely understand what others have gone through, the only thing I can do is give voice to this thought; we can't control what others think of us, but we can control what we think of ourselves.

No matter your skin color, you are human - and that in itself is beautiful.