Childhood in the Care of Grandparents

How many of us haven't spent much of our childhood caring for our grandparents? At least during the long summer holidays, how many pleasant memories do we have with the goodies prepared by the grandmother, the horrible stories told by the grandfather, playing with the other children? The figure of grandparents and especially of grandmothers is for many children irreplaceable.

It is said that old people have the wisdom of adults, but also the joy of the child. It is true: grandparents are very good at educating the child, but they also offer something else: more tolerance, understanding, empathy, a kind of complicity. more affection and to rejoice with the child.

Another saying among the people is that the old man reaches the "mind of the child" - from a positive point of view, it is true. A person who has lived for many years has learned that you should not take everything too seriously, be always concerned and stressed, and have learned to enjoy the little moments. And this is what the child's grandparents can offer: the joy of the little moments of the day…

But many children spend most of their childhood in the care of their grandparents. Those children whose parents are abroad, those children whose parents have problems with alcohol abuse or the law, those children who no longer have parents…

The problem sometimes arises in inappropriate terms: the question is not whether grandparents are fit to be surrogate parents! Because some grandparents do great, others less well - but so do their parents! The problem is that grandparents can't completely replace the lack of parents. Every child needs parents, no matter how involved the grandparents are…

Childhood in the care of grandparents - different experiences:

Spending time with grandparents. As mentioned, it is really good for a child to spend time outside their parents 'house - and which house receives him with more affection than his grandparents'? Many children spend most of their vacation with their grandparents - a pleasant and carefree experience.

Staying with grandparents offers him other activities, other preoccupations, a period of relaxing "escape". Grandparents are the people who can take care of the children, giving them pleasant vacations and giving their parents free time. Especially the grandparents from the country offer precious moments to the child, an environmental refuge from so many toxic points of view of the city.

What is childhood without climbing trees and eating cherries, without playing with your puppy, without baking pies with your grandmother, without going fishing with your grandfather, picking mushrooms, in the field?… In the country, children play but also learn responsibilities. In the country, he gathers dear memories for the future… Staying away from your parents and adapting to a different style - that of grandparents - is good for any child.

Grandparents complete the family and give the child the feeling of a second home and therefore security, affection, protection, harmony. While the parents impose, often the grandparents only love and pamper the child… And sitting with the grandparents, the child finds out that his parents were also children, learns funny stories, and understands what the family means.

Child care. But other children spend most of their childhood in the care of their grandparents, especially in their early years, because their parents do not cope with the time - especially in the case of single parents. It's not just about having a good time, it's about temporarily replacing your parent with your grandparents as primary caregivers.

Of course, how many new parents do not turn to grandparents for advice and help? When you first face the challenging task of caring for a baby, nothing is more valuable than helping your parents. But how good is it to leave a child longer with grandparents away from their parents? Let's get to the previous idea: a child needs parents, and grandparents can't completely replace them!

A child often sent to grandparents for long periods may feel unwanted, lack parental affection, may even feel like a nuisance on the parent's head… Grandparents' educational style is also very important: authoritarian style.

Some older people do not understand how the world has changed, and the child may be overwhelmed by too much authority and meaningless rules. Some grandparents like this still think in terms of "the child should do everything he is told, without question" and "the child should be seen but not heard" (in other words, it should be checked and verified, but not understood and listened to). ).

But there are other grandparents, who relive their parenting experience differently, being, on the contrary, too benevolent and permissive. I allow the child almost anything! This extreme is not appropriate either. Studies show that those children who spend a lot of time caring for their grandparents are overweight - talking about their grandmother's goodies.

No matter how busy and stressed a parent is, he or she should be actively involved in raising and educating the child, making sure that grandparents educate him or her properly. , which does not harmonize with that of the parents - then, who imposes himself in front of the child, by whom will he listen?

Therefore, parents mustn't miss too long periods of the child's life and work with grandparents, so that the child's education has a uniformity. Nobody is the "boss" here: grandparents have authority because they have experience, but parents also have authority because it is their child!

Without communication and trying to understand each other about the education and care of the child, it is impossible! Otherwise, the little one will be confused: in one place there are certain rules, in another place completely different… And no one wins!

But when there are no parents?… Some children need to spend their childhood in the care of grandparents - children without parents. Grandparents are, in fact, often the ablest to care for children. They will not be able to completely replace the missing figure of the parents, but they can give the child a family.

A grandmother can make up for the lack of a mother figure, being able to give affection, attention, and protection. A grandfather can teach the child very well about rules and authority. A child raised by grandparents can be happy! Yes, you will always miss your parents, but grandparents are a different kind of parent, able to ensure a happy childhood. Of course, it all depends on the grandparents - some inappropriate grandparents do not know how to educate and raise a child, just as there are inappropriate parents.

Conclusion: As in the past, grandparents remain an important figure in a child's life - and that's normal. But when parents are present and able to afford it, they need to make sure that they are also an important part of the child's life.

If the situation requires the little one to spend a lot of time with his grandparents, don't let him forget about his parents - stay as involved as you can! Grandparents are a valuable source of help for parents and a valuable source of affection for children! A tip for parents: don't take full advantage of grandparents' availability in childcare - after all, they are more than grandparents and have a personal life…