Here I am, 29 in a great relationship good friends and a good job.I feel pretty content with this point in my life and yet there is always a looming expectation or a young women in her prime of life. Baby making. A taboo subject if you don’t plan on giving your parent the grandkids they want.
I come from a very big old school Italian family. My grandparents on both sides married young and having kids. My parents married at 22 and on baby number 2 at my age and here I stand not yet married and no plan for kids. To my family my mother especially are blown away at the thought that kids are not in my plan.
At the age of 5 when my sister was born I realized kids were never going to be my thing. I try thinking of how pregnancy and child birth and child rearing all take over life and it just something I never yearned for or dreamed of. Many people will tell you your wrong crazy and you won’t know love until you have a child. I’m here to tell you their wrong and you are not crazy and it’s okay to not want children.
Child free by choice is still today a pretty big taboo subject, especially dealing with older generations and family. I’ve been made to feel like the black sheep, or that I’m wrong for deciding on what to do or not do in my life or body. I’ve been told by family and random strangers the following
You’ll change you mind when you married
You’ll never know love until you have a child
What’s the point of your life if not making a future
How could you not want kids? They bring so much joy
Here are my answers.
No, I won’t change my mind. I knew kids were not for me at a young age my maternal instinct just isn’t there
Yes, I can feel just as much love for my boyfriend, his child and my family without having a child. A child does not define what true love is.
I just don’t want kids. Just like I don’t want to jump out of a plan. You do not need to explain your personal choices to anyone. I have seen kids cause stress and anger just as much as they bring joy.
I am writing this so that other women and even men are not alone in their choices regarding children. I’ve felt very much in the minority and have a hard time relating to friends who have now gotten married and have children. If I can provide a space where some one can feel they are not the only one then I can feel good.
People will always question you on your choice and even try to make you feel less because of it. I hope I can share my experience of living child free and being a step mom to a future child and help other women like me along the way.
Thank you for joining me!
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Autonomy Is The Real Privilege
Good morning, freedom-seekers! Today we’re gonna be looking at autonomy. A strange word, I know; one many would probably look at blankly and run away from on sight. We’re gonna figure out what it actually means, consider how it’s achieved, and decipher just how deeply most of us are tangled up in dependence without realising it.
By That ‘Freedom’ Guyabout 13 hours ago in Humans
Hard Work or Talent?
In a small town surrounded by dusty roads and silent fields, two boys grew up with the same dream—to become the best runners their country had ever seen. Their names were Ayaan and Rohan, and from the outside, their lives seemed similar. They attended the same school, ran on the same broken track, and dreamed under the same open sky. Yet the paths they took, and the lessons they would teach the world, were very different. From an early age, Rohan was known as “the gifted one.” He ran faster than everyone else without much effort. Teachers praised him, classmates admired him, and coaches spoke about him with pride. His stride was smooth, his breathing calm, and his victories came easily. People said he was born to run. Talent, they believed, lived in his blood. Ayaan, on the other hand, was ordinary. He ran slower, tired faster, and often finished near the back. No one applauded his efforts. No one called him special. But Ayaan had something few noticed—an unbreakable determination. While others went home after practice, Ayaan stayed. While others rested on weekends, Ayaan trained alone. He believed that if talent was a gift, then hard work was a choice—and he chose it every day. As the years passed, the difference between them grew clearer. Rohan continued to win local races with ease. Because success came naturally, he trained only when required. “Why push so hard when I’m already the best?” he often thought. He enjoyed praise and believed talent would always carry him forward. Ayaan’s journey was much harder. He woke up before sunrise, running through empty streets while the world slept. His legs ached, his lungs burned, and doubt often whispered in his mind. There were days he wanted to quit, days when progress felt invisible. But each time he stumbled, he reminded himself of one truth: effort never lies. Even when results are slow, work is never wasted. Their first major competition came in high school—a regional championship that attracted scouts and professional coaches. Rohan entered with confidence. Ayaan entered with quiet focus. When the race began, Rohan surged ahead effortlessly, while Ayaan stayed behind, steady and controlled. As expected, Rohan won. The crowd cheered his name, and reporters asked about his “natural ability.” Ayaan finished far behind, unnoticed and exhausted. That night, Rohan celebrated. Ayaan trained. Time moved on, and both boys entered a national sports academy. Now the competition was tougher. Everyone was talented. Everyone was fast. For the first time, Rohan met runners who were as gifted as he was—some even more. Suddenly, talent alone was not enough. Training sessions became brutal. Discipline mattered. Consistency mattered. Rohan struggled. He wasn’t used to pushing past comfort. When training became painful, he slowed down. When coaches criticized him, he felt offended. “I’ve always been the best,” he told himself. “Why should I suffer like this?” Ayaan, however, felt at home in struggle. Pain was familiar to him. Discipline was his companion. While others complained, he listened. While others skipped sessions, he showed up. Slowly, almost invisibly, he began to improve. His times dropped. His endurance increased. His confidence grew—not from praise, but from proof. Years later, the two met again at a national championship—the kind that could decide careers. Rohan was still talented, but inconsistent. Ayaan was not the fastest on paper, but he was reliable, focused, and mentally strong. The race was long and demanding. Halfway through, Rohan pushed hard, relying on his natural speed. But as fatigue set in, his form broke. Doubt crept in. He had never learned how to fight exhaustion. Ayaan ran differently. He paced himself. Every step reflected thousands of unseen hours. When his body begged him to stop, his mind answered, “Keep going.” One by one, he passed runners who had relied only on talent. In the final stretch, Ayaan surged ahead—not because he was born faster, but because he had trained his body and mind to endure. He crossed the finish line first. The crowd roared, surprised by the name they barely knew. Rohan finished far behind. For the first time, he understood a painful truth: talent opens doors, but it does not keep them open. After the race, Rohan sat alone, staring at the track that once felt so easy. Ayaan approached him, offering a quiet smile—not of pride, but of understanding. “I always thought talent was everything,” Rohan admitted softly. Ayaan shook his head. “Talent is a spark. Hard work is the fire.” Years later, Ayaan became a respected athlete and mentor. He taught young runners that success is built when no one is watching. Rohan, too, changed. He learned discipline late, but sincerely, discovering that talent grows only when watered by effort. The world often debates hard work versus talent, as if one must defeat the other. But the truth is simpler and deeper. Talent may give you a head start, but hard work decides how far you go. Talent can shine once—but hard work shines every day. In the end, the most powerful force is not what you are given at birth, but what you are willing to build through patience, pain, and persistence. Because talent may impress—but hard work transforms.
By The best writer a day ago in Humans
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