Black Women: The Introvert

Everyday we experience some form of life on our own. We laugh, we cry, we sing, we dance, and there aren't always people watching. If you ask an introvert like myself, we prefer if our days were spent in solitude and often have a hard time opening up. The discomfort that comes with expected verbal expression can become too much and I enjoy myself being a very quiet person.

People feel like they have to pry to get the "real me" out of my shell, when...get this...I have nothing to say *jaw drops*. Seriously, I just don't and that's okay! Too often have I been hilariously given verdicts on my personality for just not having anything to say. She's "mean", she's "rude", she's "short with us", she's "afraid of people", she's "lazy". Just a laundry list of insults toward someone who has said nothing... *sigh*...yikes.

Come on, why focus on telling someone that you're accomplishing things when you can just accomplish things! Don't get me wrong, I can enjoy sharing what's happening in my mind, but I don’t think everything needs to be shared immediately. I think maybe the culture of posting has got us believing that if we don't constantly participate socially, what we do will never be legitimate.

It's definitely legit. Why? Because you did it, and it doesn’t matter if anyone sees you. I mean, they didn't see you wake up but you’re still alive, haha.

Not all of us are extroverts and when it's expected, I honestly have no interest in it. I use to feel like there was something wrong with me, and you might too, but when did being reserved become an outright negative attribute? Who's to say you don't just prefer another form of expression? Some people like dying their hair and others like changing their phone cases.

I mean, if we take intersectionality into consideration, I feel like a lot of people expect too much out of Black women. In class, at work, and on teams I dread the "I thought you were ghetto" conversations from my non-black counterparts.

They're not alone in this though, there are Black people that stereotype me too. To them, I'm the mean girl who thinks she's too good to associate with anyone. Again, I just don't have anything to say and that's okay. I've even gone on dates with people who felt as though I wasn't "being myself" and that I "don't talk like a Black girl".

...* insert Gavin meme*...

Yeah, I'm still perplexed, but I can't lie I laughed. It was the audacity for me, haha. I'm just an introvert, love. It's definitely possible and expecting someone to act a certain way based on how they look is 2000 and late. Black women are not here to debunk every stereotype that comes our way. And please don't touch anyone's hair without consent. That's microaggressive.

Also, whatever happened to being individuals?! Did that concept just walk out on us or are we just ignoring it? I don't necessarily appreciate being boxed in, but rectangles are fine. At least there's more dimension and all of the angles are right. You can choose whatever corner you want and social distance with no issues, if that's your speed.

For me, existing outside of the norm is normal. I'm not against being exactly what people think you might be, but there's a thin line between perception and stereotyping. Black women already have to deal with so much because of assumptions, why press an issue about who we are? You won't know who someone is if you don't make the effort to get to know them.