Attraction to Your Partner’s Friend, Why Does It Appear and What Remains to Be Done?
Actionable advice.
Attraction to the couple's partner's friend - often the problem is that we don't support our best partner's best friend; but what do we do if the problem is the opposite: we start to feel very attracted to this friend - and not in an innocent way?
When you spend a lot of time with your partner's boyfriend/girlfriend, you may find yourself in this situation: you start liking him more than you should, you start comparing your partner with his boyfriend and thinking about why your partner can't be more like his friend
Why the attraction towards the partner's friend appears:
They look like brothers and sisters, that's why they like each other - but it's as if their friend is more attractive, more charismatic, funnier, smarter… You start to compare them both and the balance is tilted towards the other…
You start to have fleeting ideas like, "X wouldn't have behaved like that with me"… Or they're so different, they're so extreme: because you have more in common…
Lately, your partner ignores you a bit, doesn't appreciate you the same way, and doesn't listen to you anymore, especially if you go out in a group, talk to others and leave you staring at the sun - instead, your friend seems interested in you, he talks to you and behaves so nicely…
He talks to you about everything and you too. Talk and laugh together about your partner - the person you have in common. And without realizing it, you end up feeling very close to this good friend, with whom you talk about anything.
The boyfriend or girlfriend of your partner likes you the way you are - more jokingly, more seriously, he says nice things like "how are you doing with this, you deserve more", "what luck on his head or that he found you "; these beautiful words soften your heart, especially if your partner often has the habit of chanting an ironic or malicious remark about you. The comparison reappears: my partner criticizes me - the other appreciates me…
Your partner's appreciation for his or her good friend - if you've heard so many good words from your partner about your boyfriend: "X is so funny," "X is so successful," "I wish I could be more like X ", you come to believe the same! Indeed, X is so attractive
What do you do if you are attracted to your partner's friend:
Realize what it's about: attraction or something else? If it is just an attraction, it is caused by the above and it is not a big problem, as long as you realize that what you feel comes more from your frustration that your partner does not give you more attention and appreciation and not from the fact that you want to be with his friend!
When you start to feel attracted to someone else, but that's all, this attraction is born from the fact that you don't get what you want in a couple - your partner criticizes you, ignores you, doesn't behave as nicely… This means having a serious discussion with your partner
But if you feel a little deeper, if you are not only attracted, but you already feel the desire, you dream of that friend, you have emotions when you meet, you feel in love - then you have got into trouble! You can choose to ignore what you are feeling, hoping it will pass - but to pass, you should not see the person who gave birth to these emotions so often, or end your relationship with your partner by telling him the truth and telling your friend or what you feel - but remember that if they are friends, the other person will never betray their friend!
So most likely, you will lose a partner and a friend, who will choose to stay with his old "ally"…
Maybe you just want something else - that's why the attraction towards your partner's friend appears because you spend a lot of time with him and it's something else! In this situation, what should I think about is why do I need something else in my life? Doesn't your relationship make you happy?
It's easy to think that your partner's friend would be better in a relationship - but that's because you don't know what he's like in a relationship.
Instead, you know very well what your partner is like - and of course, you don't like some things. But everyone will have shortcomings and defects, no one is perfect - so to imagine that you would be better off with someone else is often just an illusion…
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