As a Black Woman, I’ve Built My Own Door and Made My Own Seat and Table

It’s 2006, I stepped into the cool, air-conditioned offices of one of the biggest Public Affairs firms in the UK.

With a pounding heart, a lump in my throat, and sweaty palms, I held my head up, grabbed my courage, and shimmied my way to the “newcomer’s” waiting area.

As I sat down on the soft leather couch, I recalled a conversation I had with my dad in primary school. It was the day I received my exam results for the London Reading Test, the early equivalent of the SATS exams in the UK.

I was nervous and my dad tried to reassure me by saying:

“As a Black person in England, you have to work twice as hard as the rest of them. When you step into an exam, you have to believe that you are the top of the class. When you want to achieve a goal, fix your mind on it and like a laser beam and push yourself to achieve it.”

That day, I cried uncontrollably. I got the highest grade in the class but I felt sick. Like the world was ending, I felt numb.

Similar to the day I received my GCSE exam results, I had the highest grade in English Literature, and I received an award from the Mayor of Bexley for my outstanding performance.

I remember pushing myself to the limit to prove to the white teachers in school that I had what it takes to be a top lawyer.

I guzzled coffee and popped Pro Plus Caffeine pills to keep me awake so I could study for the next test. To prove that I deserved my seat at the table and for what?

I endured six months of racial abuse and sexual harassment at a big Public Affairs firm to prove to my parents, aunties, uncles, and friends that I, the little Black girl from Kent could compete with the blonde chicks.

Anyway back to the newcomer's waiting area at the big Public Affairs firm.

As I sat patiently waiting to start my new adventure, a deep, burly voice called my name:

“Edina? Mr. Lawson will see you now.”

I stood up, my heart racing and head spinning, I fixed the collar on my brand new Zara blouse and took my first shaky step towards my boss, Mr. Lawson’s office.

He was a red-faced, stocky, 50-something with a dark blue suit and golden tie. He wore polished designer loafers, the Michael Jackson style loafers, I chuckled to myself as I glanced at his MJ shoes.

With beady eyes, he pointed to the chair in front of his glass desk. I reached over to shake his hand but he refused the gesture and pointed to the chair for the second time.

I sat down.

“So, Edina, you do know that you’re the only woman in your department?”

My response:

“No Sir, I didn’t know that.”

Mr. Lawson’s response:

“Well, you are and it’s a tough gig, if you’re ready for it then, pick up your starter pack from the front desk and head over to the waiting area, fill out the forms, hand them back to Jen at the front desk. Once you’re done, head to the board meeting room next to the yellow door. It all starts there.”

I thanked Mr. Lawson and made my way to the front desk to collect the forms. By 10 am I was sitting in a board meeting with 12 middle-aged white men. I felt this sinking feeling in my stomach, not nerves, but a feeling of dread, I felt like I had made a huge mistake.

I spent the next few months, pandering to the needs of these middle-aged white men like an office admin.

Instead of working on Junior Public Affairs Consultant tasks, I had been given the job of an office admin. I spent my days, photocopying and taking meeting notes. So far removed from the job description.

I was supposed to shadow the senior consultants and spend my days in the House of Commons in London and on flights to Belgium and Switzerland with the other juniors(male).

By the way, all the juniors started on the same day, I wasn’t the only newbie there. The only difference, the other newbies were white males, and I was the only female junior. In fact, I was the only person of color in the office.

I spent six grueling months working at this top firm until one day, I’d had enough of the disrespect.

I made the decision to build my own door and create a seat at my own table. I went on to work as a journalist for a big UK publication where I was overworked and undervalued there too.

My next move was to create an online music publication where we showcased up-and-coming Black musicians and established artists from the Black community.

Intrigue Online Magazine took me backstage at the biggest music festivals, concerts, and music events.

I met Jay-Z and sat backstage with Beyonce, Craig David, Snoop Dogg, Busta Rhymes, Janet Jackson, and many more.

Here are some of the benefits of building your own Opportunities as a Woman of Color:

One of the best ways to empower ourselves is to create our own opportunities. When we become entrepreneurs and business owners, we create jobs for other Women of Color.

We also have the opportunity to tell our stories and to encourage and promote change. Additionally, by becoming leaders in our communities, we can inspire other Women of Color to reach their full potential.

When we create our own opportunities, we not only improve our lives but also help to build a better future for other Women of Color.

Currently, I run another online media company where we produce informative, inspirational, and transformative content for the web through online magazines, and blogs and we also write for platforms like Medium and Hubpages.

I’ve built a business that seeks to provide opportunities for Women of Color in Africa and across the diaspora. I’m on a mission to build more doors for people of color; encourage both women and men to build their own tables instead of begging for a seat at tables where we might not receive the appreciation and respect that we deserve.