A Resolution in Inadequacy

Starting the new year can be intimidating. There's always tons of articles and speeches that the people of the world strive for and start as beginning of a new year comes around. Hours are dedicated to mapping out how the first month should go and that usually sets the tone for the months after that. However, these last two years have taught people a lot about themselves if not the humanity of the world. Just how many times can you possibly root for change and then not follow through? An exciting look into disrupting your routine starts out fun but then turns boring when your commitment starts fading.

Change is terrifying.

There is crippling anxiety when it comes to doing something new for a lot of people. The unknown promises us that we'll be uncomfortable in the end so we may as well just deal with what we've been given and this is just how life is. If it isn't anxiety that someone feels; doubt steps in and invites fear, emotion begins to weigh heavier than it ever has before whether it is positive or negative, goals stretch out so extensively that they become easy to snap and then defeat knocks on your window and in intrudes your sense of reality.

I've got an idea!

While changing your mind challenges you, I invite you to start with how you think about thinking in general. Positive affirmations and thinking are powerful tools that can lead to most positive things but can also turn a negative scope with certain outlooks. So, I've thought a lot about being genuinely understanding with yourself, your mind, and your thoughts. Start with how you think about yourself before you think of anything else. Believe in yourself until doubt has no place to stay. Remember that everyone starts somewhere at the root of success-- no matter the definition.

Start With Golden Goals

Where do you start when you don't know how? Well, how do you start your day? Does starting your day the way you do put you in a good mood? Does doing things all at once toward the beginning or end of the day leave you feeling drained and panicked? Do bills pile up like the laundry and dishes? Does the house always need cleaning? These are things that are always on our minds as functioning humans and depending on the handle that we have on them, our day is already determined. So, we start small. I'll start small. Every extraordinary thing in life starts small and expands greatly.

One

Picture one goal that you feel is reasunobtainable. I say that because sometimes what we really desire can feel unobtainable but you can make it reasonablly obtainable. Mine is being a bestselling author. Ask yourself why you feel it is unobtainable. I feel it is unobtainable because sometimes it feels too far of a dream for a normal person like myself. With every one unobtainable goal, challenge yourself with a few goals that can help you get there and follow through with them everyday. Do not stop. If you do stop, start over and do it again. Keep going until the challenge is met. Remember, you only fail if you stop forever. Give yourself room to breathe. I have a few small goals that I think will help me and they are: Write everyday and if not all day at least a few hours a day, research other authors and make a plan to publish, and then believe in myself more.

Two

The world is full of opportunity and gratitude and they both weigh the exact same. Before we can amount to anything of what our minds believe, we have to start with ourselves. Validation becomes a high point nowadays with how people price themselves. We set the bar so high that we almost can't see ourselves ever reaching it and that's so unfair. Who or what taught humanity that that was the only way to survive?

Rewire the way you think can help you reevaluate what's happening around you. Reactions cause chains of mass destruction.

Create a space that no other person can infiltrate. Be less reactive and concentrate on yourself. I have been practicing this one a lot as of late and my mood has been improving because the longer that you're worried about everyone else but you, the longer that validation will take to sit right. You'll always feel uncomfortable until you figure out why you have been in the past. Put all your worries in the past because the best future is ahead of you and will stay ahead of you as long as you're in control of it. Have compassion in your space; feel your feelings and let them pass, grow from the root and replant when you need to, embrace what composure does for you, and I'll say it again-- you have to believe in it and in you!

Three

Always agree to disagree and shake hands. Touch elbows. Bump fists. Whatever makes you comfortable in these times. We're all different and that is supposed to be what makes diversity and humanity great. History proves that dividing the nature of humans can be destructive but moreso incredible. Strive for that aspect. How can we ever expect for things to change if we keep our focus on what's so unlike the normal societal standard? How can peace ever find a place to stand when we're all so occupied with pushing each other out and away and exiling uniqueness?

Let a human be just that. Let their beliefs, their rights, their thoughts, their lives, and their hopes be and should they differ from yours-- agree to disagree and move on. Any person you personally know does not directly affect the way your life is lived so please just let them be. If you cannot agree with them, then don't associate yourself with them. It should always be that simple. They do not deserve an onslaught of mistreatment and belittlement.

Be kinder to yourself so you can be kind to others. Love who you are so you can love everyone else. Fathom the length of passion for life no matter how big or small. Life deserves to live in peace and not deteriorate in chaotic ruin.

Four

Procrastinating has always been on my list of things that I felt I could never fix. I know it is on many peoples' lists so I'm putting it on this list. Constantly putting things off will only increase the amount of pressure against you so cutting that out would only further your goals in life.

I'll start next Monday.

My next paycheck I'll pay this bill.

I'll write that story this weekend.

I'll take my car in for maintenance when it really needs it.

I'll figure out a budget eventually.

Invest in yourself and the opportunities available that can help you struggle less. I feel that these last two years have made even non-procrastinators adapt to this. It has become difficult to strive for ways to get out of holes and procrastinating ways to be better has been the enemy. I can attest to this because I've dug myself in quite a few holes.

Remember what I said earlier about being kinder? Times prove a hard reality and sometimes it is inevitable but I'd really love to procrastinate less. I feel better when things are done when they need to be and I'm not scrambling around last minute. I'd love to have the mindset of if something pops in my head, I'll do it in that second. I want to practice that and I will. Practice it because it won't happen overnight and that is okay. Please know that that is okay. Take it in strides and take it day by day and if anything, just put things off less. In time, you'll find that you don't have to do it at all because your new routine of not falling behind has propelled you further than you ever thought it would.

Have gratitude for what you have accomplished instead of a smug regard for all that you have not.

Five

Let a natural path run its course. Let's face it, many things in life are inevitable and loop holes are few and far between. There's no shortcut only different roads that get you to your destination. Besides, any shortcut I've ever tried has given me a hard lesson in what not to do next time. Next time! Living and learning is crucial to the human condition. Figuring out what keeps you motivated and helps you feel complete is vital.

Breathe through the rough patches that approach you aggressively. Perhaps the world isn't against you but you are not met with enough satisfaction in the moment so you are feeling less full. Sure, there will always be more to want but desire cannot be rushed. Look at the things that are important to you and take your time. Investments take time to build into foundations of security so that is all this is.

Become comfortable in the fact that you are a survivor and not just surviving. Impatience and entitlement will always leave you feeling like you're grasping at straws and will feed you desperation instead of gratitude.

"I'm having a hard time right now but this will get better because I want it to."

Try to eliminate the word 'need' from your everyday vocabulary and watch how grief thrives less in your heart and mind. Living healthier in your head will always allow room to grow in your body and that magnifies with what you put out into the world. Life will soon feel less daunting all the time when you're not so focused on the next thing and more appreciative of what's happening now. Work toward goals that fit this moment and the big picture opens up later and reveals every single thing your desires have ever created.

Things to Remember

It is going to be okay if these things don't cement themselves from day one of the new year. These are things that I've slowly been realizing here lately and they do prove to be empowering all in their own. Practicing a healthy mindset that is less wrought with destructive behaviors will be beneficial. What circulates in your mind is but a reflection of what lives in the world if not a fraction of what comes back to you.

Setting too many goals will promote a defeating understanding that you'll never get to all of them, that there's too little time, that age plays a role, that it costs too much, or that you're not good enough. All of those things exist in a negative, destructive behavior. Start with the small things that feed your soul and let what is starving you find its way out.

Just because you're a human does not mean you cannot have it all. You can do anything that you want to in this life. You can be a wonderful person or a terrible one. The will to change and keep going is all up to you. Change may make you uncomfortable but so does being tired of never fulfilling what you want out of life, no? Draw a map. Choose a path. Walk it. Live in the moment. Dream about the picture you've painted in your head a thousand times of what you wish your life to be. Your goals will be your canvas.