A Lifetime To Connectedness

When I was a very young boy, I remember looking up at the stars, knowing that there was more connection to myself that was yet to be uncovered and discovered. There was a woman, some where out there, who physically brought me into this world! Now as grown man, I have completely come full circle, in that I have reconnected back to whence I originated. It has actually been a lifetime in the making, as an adoptee, but just this last year, I have finally come to know true connectedness. The following story, I hope, will capture the initial physical reconnection with my biological Mother. Our first meeting took place during the 4th of July weekend, in Carmel, IN. She was in the process of slowly relocating there from Minnesota, where she was born, raised and lived her life up to this point.

Here I am on my final flight, from Seattle, en route to Indianapolis, IN and reunion with my biological mother! So many thoughts racing through my head, my heart is flooded with overflowing love and joyful emotion. I will be soon looking into the eyes of the woman who gave me life. What will I say to her? Will I even be able to speak? It is a given that this will be one of the most emotional experiences in both of our lives! How often is one able to thank someone for being so unselfish, so forward thinking and compassionate about a new life, wanting only the very best for that being, yet, having to push their own sadness down, deep enough that it doesn't haunt them? How do I thank her for doing the right and moral thing in giving me up, so a couple who could not have their own children were able to raise a child they chose? How difficult that decision weighed on her all these years, how painful it must have been to say goodbye to me, so soon after giving me life. I cannot even imagine the pain. But, she had hopes and prayers that I would end up with exactly who I ended up being raised and loved unconditionally by. How can I ever show her the gratitude she so deserves? Well, I can begin by wrapping my arms around her and telling her just what is in my heart at this moment.

It was now VERY early 4 July, as the landing in Indianapolis initiated... My heart was beating faster, pounding actually, my eyes welled with tears, the reunion of a lifetime was only moments away. I finally landed, following the longest approach to a landing I've ever experienced! Once I had exited the plane, I made my way to baggage claim, where I would finally be reunited with my biological mother, also meeting her younger sister, Auntie M. I proceeded down an escalator, towards baggage claim, scanning the crowd for the two women. I immediately spotted them, one holding star-shaped red, white and blue balloons to my right, eventually recognizing one of them to be my newly discovered Auntie M. She also recognized me, pointing me out to my Mother. Our eyes met and locked, I couldn't get off the escalator fast enough! Soon, she and I were looking into each other's eyes, hugging each other and crying. I realized I had initially hugged Auntie M, as she was the first one in my path. Upon embracing my Mother, I collected my checked luggage, she grabbing a hold of my hand tightly, as we made our way to the car they drove, now in the airport parking garage. The 3 of us eventually exited the airport parking garage, following a couple of wrong turns, then making our way to their homes in Carmel. The car conversation is a blur to me now, as the subjects frequently changed. Let me tell you something!…Neither my Mother nor I should be allowed to kiss the Blarney Stone in Ireland! We arrived at the sister's homes, entering my mother’s new home, not yet occupied, where I was to spend the duration of this trip. We snapped a selfie of the 3 of us, following much discussion about a variety of things, including our plans for later that day. Right now the 3 of us, truly emotionally drained, required sleep taking everything into account, especially since it was now well after 3am!

Being able to spend so much captured time with someone, someone you have truly not known, since being separated when only a few days old. So completely soul-changing! She and I spent all our waking hours in each other’s company, truly never tiring of the other. So many beautiful moments, each very unique! A story she loves to tell everyone, with a huge smile upon her face, is now a beautiful memory for the both of us. One evening following sunset now dark, we were walking behind her new home, deep in conversation as was now our norm. I was immediately transported back to my childhood, when suddenly appearing all around us... Lightning Bugs (aka fireflies)! As I continued to walk with her, I shared about how my parents showed my siblings and I how to catch them in a jar, the lid poked with breathing holes for them. We let them go after a while, but the magic of them! To be able to share this childhood memory with my birth Mother? An absolutely cherished moment for us both, for the rest of our lives!