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8 Habits of the Most Charming People in the World

When You Have an Insistent Suitor, but You Are Not Ready For Marriage

By Esther FelixPublished 4 years ago 5 min read
8 Habits of the Most Charming People in the World
Photo by Євгенія Височина on Unsplash

When you have an insistent suitor - more precisely, when your boyfriend insists on continuing the relationship, getting engaged and getting married, and you are not sure that this is what you want, that it is a good step, that you are ready, problems arise in the relationship.

We are accustomed to thinking about the opposite situation: the woman is the one who wants the relationship to become more serious, the woman dreams of marriage (as we see in the article Obsession for marriage). But what happens when things are exactly the opposite and the woman is afraid to take the big step, while he wants it?

An insistent suitor is a boyfriend who wants to be his wife, who always brings up the future and his desire to get married. In general, this is wonderful - a woman who loves is delighted if her boyfriend wants to be her husband.

But sometimes he gets too insistent too early, and she doesn't feel safe and ready. Nothing is more difficult than saying "I don't know", "not yet" when your boyfriend asks you to marry him! And sometimes you just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people.

Why does your boyfriend become an insistent suitor? Why, when you still don't know for sure that you want to spend your life with him and you are not yet ready for this step, he seems more and more stubborn and insists on getting married?

When you have an insistent suitor:

Most of the time, your boyfriend doesn't feel safe about you and your relationship. He lacks security, trust in the relationship and is even afraid that he may lose you. So he will believe that if you get married, things will be more stable and secure.

If you accept this step, you show him that you want to be his only. When this is the case, it means that something in your attitude makes him insecure and distrustful and makes him want an assurance that you will stay with him. Maybe you don't show him that you love him, maybe you're a bit "frivolous" valuing fun and less stability, maybe you have a lot of admirers…

And he only wants you for him, and the way to have you is to put a ring on your finger… Sometimes the insistent boyfriend who wants to get married too soon is a very jealous man: who can't stand insecurity and who wants to know that you will be his.

When you look insecure, when you tell her you're not ready yet, your boyfriend wants you to be his own! If you show him that you still don't want to be his wife, that you want to enjoy more freedom, all you do is turn into his "stopped apple" in his eyes!

Quite often, men want what they can't afford, they want to fight to win something - if, instead, they are offered that something on the tray, they lose some of their interest and passion… So if you refuse it and You say that you are not yet ready to take the relationship and get married, most likely, he will want it more, he will take it as an exciting challenge.

Mature age, when adventures are no longer satisfying - just like women, a man of a certain age (around the age of 30–35) begins to wonder about his future, his life, and what he does with his life. The classic idea is that at this age, a mature man should arrange a stable and happy life with a woman. To settle down at home and think about starting his own family.

Many older men begin to feel dissatisfied with their lives, to want more, to want something else - and sometimes that desire means a desire for stability and marriage, even a desire to become a father in the future. A man who has been a bachelor for a long time is tired of this life and when he has a happy relationship with a woman he loves, he may want to get married too quickly - so he turns into an insistent suitor (and if you are not where he is, if you still do not want to take this step, you will have some problems).

If he becomes a little insistent on the idea of ​​marriage, your boyfriend wants a wife, a woman who loves him, to be with him, to support him and give him a stable and - why not say - more comfortable life. This does not mean that he is looking for a housewife to take care of the house and not an equal partner (although it happens sometimes).

It means that he doesn't want to live alone anymore, he doesn't want to be just his girlfriend, but his life partner, always with him. The need for stable affection and support is just as important for a man when he is no longer excited about adventurous life and conquests.

External pressures have a great influence on men too! If you are wondering why your boyfriend suddenly became an insistent suitor, trying to persuade you to get married, more and more concerned about this idea, the answer may be the effect of pressure.

If all your close friends have gotten married, have a stable life, and are even starting to be dads, your boyfriend may feel excluded and may want to keep up with others, although it may be too early for your relationship. Parents generally have less influence over a man when it comes to marriage - and yet, if your boyfriend is constantly asked when he becomes a "mature man at home", he may be more and more concerned about the idea!

In the end: when your boyfriend is an insistent suitor and wants to be his wife, but you are not sure if you want her or you do not feel ready, you must, first of all, clarify to yourself what you feel and what you want with true. Why don't you feel happy and excited when your boyfriend tells you he wants to get married?

You are not ready yet or the problem is different - you may not think he is your choice, you may not think he is right for you. Maybe you don't trust him. Maybe you're scared. Maybe you don't believe in happy marriages. Whatever the answer, you should look for it in yourself and tell him how you feel.

But beware: a refusal does not make him give up, but to be provoked; but more refusals, postponements, avoidances will remove it and you can lose your lover…

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