Merlot

My perfectly manicured hands tremored slightly as I reached for the dark red liquid sitting in front of me. I never was much interested in wine. My taste buds were not adjusted to its bitter sting, or maybe it was my mother’s predisposition to overindulging wine that deterred me from consuming it frequently. Either way, a bottle of Merlot seemed perfect for the occasion.

As I brought the Merlot to my face, I scrunched my nose a bit to the sour smell. As it hit my lips, I instantly became more relaxed. The taste was slightly more manageable and the warm feeling that started to occupy my stomach was more than welcome. I was nervous.

I gently set the glass back down on the table. Anxiously, I pulled out my phone from my cluttered purse. The time read 7:23pm. “He’s only twenty-three minutes late,” I muttered to myself as I glanced up at the entrance.

As if I had spoken to the universe, a tall man with round glasses rushed in. His already shaggy hair was windblown, and his clothes were in disarray. I could tell he was my date. He very closely resembled his profile pictures. Well, at least he isn’t a catfish, I thought to myself. He hesitated at the entrance of the dining room and scanned the area. As his eyes met mine, I raised my hand slightly in greeting. A small smile crossed his previously distressed features. He brushed some ear-length loose strands off of his forehead and sauntered over to the table.

“Annie right?” He asked immediately after reaching me. I stood to meet him, and he pulled me into a quaint hug. It was unusually intimate for a first date. Taken aback, I pulled away slightly. He seemed to understand and released the embrace without hesitation, making me feel more comfortable.

I had been getting a little frustrated at his tardiness. Frustrated to the point I felt like opening the bottle of wine preemptively. Even so, I told him, “It’s not a problem really. You’re here aren’t you? You are James right?”

James smiled and nodded. We took our seats and he glanced at the table where the opened bottle of wine and the used and empty glass sat. Blood rushed to his cheeks. Clearly, I had been a little more impatient than my words told him. “I really am sorry. My car broke down a couple blocks back. I had to get it towed. I rushed over here on foot the rest of the way,” he informed me.

It seemed like a cliché, but I believed him. Maybe it was his gentle eyes or his disheveled attire, but his story seemed plausible. “Oh no, that’s horrible,” I responded, feeling slightly embarrassed by my prior judgement. “Are you sure you want to be here?” I asked.

“Of course, there’s no place I’d rather be tonight. There isn’t much I can do about it right now anyways,” he said nonchalantly.

I was impressed by his demeanor. By nature, I was an anxious person. If my car had broken down, it would have ruined my night. I would have taken the first cab home. Instead, he took it as though it wasn’t a bad thing at all. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was like this about everything in his life.

“Well, if you need a ride later, I would be happy to,” I informed him. It was an odd offer for me to make to somebody I had just met. But, I could already feel myself drawn to this man. He was handsome in a nonconventional way. His nose was slightly larger than most and a little more crooked. His teeth were straight, but not in a pristine braces type of way. It was his eyes that captivated me. They were deep blue, almost grey. Getting lost in eyes is impossible, but I was at least enchanted by their seemingly endless depth.

He had a curious look on his face. He also must have thought the proposition was a little strange. It was my turn to blush. “I might have to take you up on that offer,” he said with a slight raise of his eyebrows. Instantly, I regretted offering it to him. I was hoping he didn’t take it in a sexual way. He didn’t seem like the type of guy, but everybody interprets things differently.

“I’ve had quite a few glasses. I think it’s time for a bathroom break,” I told him in a panic. I was getting a little agitated. Abruptly I stood up, knocking the table with my hip. Maybe the Merlot hadn’t been the best idea. He started to raise from his seat. “I’m okay really. Why don’t you pour yourself a glass and I’ll be right back.”

He remained seated and let me leave. “You don’t have to crawl out of the bathroom window! You can just let me know you want the date to be over!” He called after me. The other people dining in the area got a little quiet.

I stopped in my tracks and turned back to face him. If I had been uncomfortable before, I was ten times the amount now. His lips were turned up into a giant grin. He must have seen the embarrassment in my eyes. “Oh, no. I’m sorry. I was just kidding. Seriously.” My face softened a bit to his words. “If you really wanted to crawl out the bathroom window, you’re more than welcome to,” he joked.

His remark managed to lighten the mood. I giggled. “I’ll be back. I promise.”

The walk to the bathroom was a little wobbly. My head was already feeling a bit fuzzy. I made it to the sink, splashed some water in my face, then blotted it dry with a paper-towel. Luckily, I neglected to wear foundation and the waterproof mascara and eyeliner seemed to be holding up. I allowed myself a second to stare at myself in the mirror. My eyes were wide and pupils were dilated from the wine. My cheeks were blushed and eyes were a little irritated. I was more intoxicated than I had intended, hopefully he wouldn’t notice.

I took a deep breath shook my head and went back to the table. My wine glass was full once more and he managed to pour himself a glass. “Everything okay?” He inquired as I sat back down.

Maybe he had noticed. “I’m great. Just really nervous.”

He gave me a small smile. “Don’t worry, this is a judgment free zone,” he told me. He lifted his glass over the table. “Cheers to a good first date?” He asked.

I didn’t think I should have any more wine. Conversing with him would have been hard if I were to be any more intoxicated. But, his charming smile and warm voice made me want to drink in unison with him. So, I picked up my glass and brought it to my lips once more. This time, the smell didn’t bother me. “This Merlot is to die for,” he mentioned after his own sip.

“I’m glad you like it. I don’t usually order wine, so I wasn’t sure what to get.”

“It was a great choice. You ready to order some food?” He asked while waving down a waitress.

We ordered our food and we chatted for a little. I got to know more about him. He was from Chicago. His favorite food is tacos. He has a brother and a sister. He is the middle sibling. He graduated from Northwestern with a bachelor’s in Social Work. He was going to school for his master’s and was part of a full-time internship while also working full-time. He was affable and his accolades were impressive. Everything about him was impressive.

By the time the food arrived, I wasn’t feeling very well. I had managed to finish another glass and it seemed to have pushed me over the edge. My head was foggy. My limbs seemed to be disconnected from my brain. My mouth felt tingly. Words started to fail me. “I think I’m going to be sick,” I managed to say. Or it could have been what I was thinking. Reality was becoming more obscured by the second.

Before I knew it, I was being escorted from the table by James. He had his right hand on the small of my back. I was holding his free hand. He was whispering encouraging things in my ear that I couldn’t make out completely. There were a couple of “okay” and “UBER.” I felt safe. There was no reason for me to worry. He had proven himself to be a decent guy.

We made it outside. James stopped us front of the restaurant. There wasn’t a car waiting for us. The lights from the restaurant burned my eyes. He pulled out his phone and muttered under his breath.

I stared at him with my eyes wide, trying to focus. I couldn’t completely comprehend what was happening. It felt like I was losing function of my body. He reached for my hand again. I pulled away when his skin met mine. The warm contact was unpleasant. I didn’t know what I wanted, but I knew I didn’t want to go anywhere. Nothing felt right anymore.

He reached for me again. This time, grasping my hand firmly and yanking me towards him. If I weren’t feeling so numb, it would have hurt. I knew I was in trouble at this point, but I couldn’t bring noise to my lips to scream to protest. He pulled me after him. My feet stumbled over themselves. I fell to the ground. My knee should have hurt, but it didn’t. I couldn’t bring enough energy to stand. As he tried to pull me back up, my body became dead weight. I fell backwards onto the cold ground.

In a matter of seconds, he was on top of me. My legs were pinned beneath his knees. He held my left arm against the ground with his elbow digging into my forearm. His free hand was reaching for his pants. I struggled against him and tried to get my legs out from under me. My body was too weak. In a last effort attempt, I patted the ground around me as he struggled to get his zipper free.

My hand found something small and hard. I held it as tight as I could with the numbness that encompassed my fingers. Then, I swung with as much power as I could muster. His body went limp and fell heavy on top of mine. His hand still rested on his pants between his body and mine. Red liquid seeped out of his head and onto my body, pooling like wine beside me. It was warm; a stark contrast against the cold pavement beneath me. What a pleasant night for Merlot.

The strength in my neck deteriorated and a fell back onto the pavement with a harsh thud to my head. I stared up into the dark night sky as swirls of red encased my vision and I fell into unconsciousness.