Gypsy Love of Raquel and Eduardo

From my house, I write to you, living a delirium,

crying lakes, spitting rivers,

waiting for the moment to throw myself off a cliff,

my love for you has been strong from the beginning,

like a dagger piercing through skin.

When I saw you, I knew the problem with my family in Vera,

but I am a tough bone to chew,

fighting barriers even at my eyebrows,

none would be willing to break barriers,

for my family, you are just any non-Gypsy.

Day by day, fighting with my family,

I only want an angel as a guide,

I keep my spirit strong, enduring screams,

stab wounds stamped into my orifices,

wild goats leaving me under supervised freedom,

not even letting my curly hair down,

hiding my identity, my true flock.

Distracting my family in that corner,

the tide rises like the temperature of my body,

I wish all this were untrue,

traditions that forbid certain testaments,

a freedom that, as a woman, I have to embrace and enter,

without being able to choose my true priority,

my decision no longer has its own destination.

I hid that you were non-Gypsy all this time,

that if I didn’t marry a Gypsy, they would pull my hair out,

that if I said what my true passion was,

my only wish was to study,

to be at the market selling clothes,

enslaved without any reason,

living in hell without staying awake.

Getting married is not within my choice,

I wanted to live with you in a new glow,

a light that would sing around us,

not being able to keep this relationship stable!

Without marriage, they left me no alternative,

I could not have sexual relationships,

nor midday loves,

keeping myself a virgin for the scarf,

being the arrow that cuts the wind,

alone, unable to receive affection.

We are on our way to the fair,

I leave you this message in the mailbox of the day,

today I will meet Gypsies from Turkey,

they want me to marry their son,

I would rather have a voodoo spell cast on me without hesitation,

this is nothing good, it is being raised in a cemetery,

my love for you is becoming more and more censored.

We have been secretly dating for ten years,

I don’t know how much longer I will endure or swallow,

Dante’s Inferno next to this is just a trifle,

as you already know, my father is still the same, he won’t stop nagging,

he doesn’t let me dress as I want, I still wear long skirts,

covering myself entirely, I look like a set square,

freedom, not even in clothing, will he grant me,

I just want to dress as I please,

follow my ideal clothing style, without excess,

I just want a little peace.

I remember when we were almost caught kissing,

on our tenth anniversary,

I thought it was truly the end of everything,

even my father would have tried to humiliate me,

I wish I could show him that non-Gypsies can be trusted.

Our love faces the rules imposed by Gypsy society,

one of us could truly end up hurt,

but I will not give up, I will stand my ground trying to break the rules,

everything they impose on us is beyond normal,

besides, they won’t let me look the other way, joining their ego,

just one mistake will unleash a social uproar or the end of my hidden freedom.

I don’t know if you will remember my uncle Juan, the only one who is not against my rights,

who supports our relationship knowing how to keep the secret,

all patriarchal gypsies should follow his example,

he gives me more options than my father,

can you believe how ridiculous they are?,

they set up their laws as if slavery were imposed,

they are faithful radicals as if they were part of a sect.

My uncle proposed that I work with him in his watch shop,

simply attending while also advising customers,

they forbade me from entering when I proposed the idea of being in the Watch Shop,

they truly live in a Fable inside a movie.

I’m still at the market selling panties, selling rags,

poisoning myself with dust in an environment that is not free of madmen,

without being able to go out to rest for a while,

shouting panties for one euro come and buy my love everything for one euro,

also shouting rags for one euro buy it so your bathroom looks like a fairy tale,

humiliating myself day by day, losing track of time,

I think I have less and less time left,

less patience on this harsh journey.

As you know, I’m very good at fixing things, I’m handy,

look again at how I fixed your old furniture,

it’s crazy that they won’t let me work repairing things,

I have talent, also attitude, something I don’t have at the market,

if I could only make one wish, I would change all their laws completely,

I know you will read this letter like all the others, my life,

how are you? and how is your family?,

I hope you are all well.

Good morning, my love, give your cat Cookie a kiss from me, please,

your family too, please,

everyone calls me a witch for knowing how to fix things,

they don’t support me, they just insult me,

no one tells me anything good,

instead of saying I’m proud of you, girl, how intelligent you are,

they beat me up,

yesterday I was in the hospital because of a brain hemorrhage,

no one helped me, I lay on the ground for two hours,

when the ambulances came, it was because of the neighbors,

they took me to the hospital and, being of age, I took care of myself alone, no one helped me.

Tomorrow I will leave this chaotic cycle,

for better or worse, you will be informed,

one week before we can see each other again,

it’s already been 2 weeks since I last saw you,

without being able to touch your beautiful hair,

without smelling your fragrance and without hearing about your achievements at work,

you are a real gentleman, nothing like these ogres who reek of envy,

tomorrow I will do everything I have planned,

at night you will be informed one day before we see each other again,

I don’t pray to anyone, but if someone up there hears me, I hope for their help,

when this is over, if it goes well, we will see each other soon,

tomorrow I’m going for it, I hope to come out with hair,

this is the summary of these almost 2 weeks without seeing each other.

Love, I’m scared, I made the claim for gypsy women’s rights,

right in the square behind the market, 5 streets away from my house,

I ran away, I already informed my Mother about the situation,

she agrees, being the second person to whom I tell the secret,

I told her 1 hour before carrying out my plan,

I’m writing this in a hurry because they will storm into my house aggressively,

including my father, as always trying to keep up appearances,

I can already hear the footsteps,

my mother will hand you this letter in person next Sunday,

we will never see each other again, thanks for everything, my king,

at my funeral only your family, my mother, my uncle, and you will be there,

I will do it myself so it won’t hurt as much as they would make it,

in my soul, you will always be, this is my true ending.