Dear Mom

Dear Mom

I am writing a diary to you, because if I ever make it home again, I don't ever want to talk about this war again. I didn't realize when I enlisted, the things I would have to see, and the things that I would have to endure.

After sitting out in the Desert, sand being the only sight as far as the eyes can see, it is an experience I will never want to experience again. I might not even want to go to Rehobeth Beach again, if I ever come home again.

It has been a journey Mom, and I know you have been taking it right along with me. You didn't want me to go in the Army, and you had told me if they offered you that kind of enlistment bonus their must be some catch to it. However you taught us both to always listen to our hearts and that you granted us the space to dance to the tune of our own drummer, as you put it. I appreciated that fact over the years, but this time sitting out in the hot desert sun, I wish you had been more stern.

I am washing out my PDU's out in my helmet, that is how we have to do it out in the middle of the desert, and I have never missed an American washing machine so much in my life. The Saudi Arabian sun works as a dryer quite well. I don't think people back home realize how many of the modern conveniences the soldiers are denied in any war zone.

We all look forward to mail call, and I am luckier than most, because I always get a letter, sometimes two, because you and Grandma write me every single day. Sometimes, I get even a third letter from someone else in the family, and everyone thinks I am one of the many fortunate ones, and I agree. When I get a letter addressed to any serviceman, I usually give it to someone who never gets a letter, and they appreciate that. We have a lot of camaraderie out here, there is a lot of uncertainty and you learn to depend on the person next to you out here in no man's land.

Sgt. Smoke once hijacked a box of your homemade cookies, that you send me twice a week. He took it in his tent, and told me, "I have always been good to you haven't I,- could you open this box in front of me, and give your old Sgt. one cookie?". I can smell them - I just know they are cookies.

How can you deny a request like that? Being out here in the desert does something to your mind. It makes a grown Sgt. beg for homemade cookies.

G-1 Day Before The Ground Offensive Began -Feb 23, 1991

Woke up about 0430. by 0800 Chief came from a chief meeting and told us that we would be leaving today. All of us thought it wouldn't come to this, we had been at G3 and holding then G2 and holding. It just all of a sudden sank in. All of us just stood there in a daze. We were actully going to war. We could even die, and I just turned twenty years old on the sixteenth of February, sitting in the desert in Saudi Arabia where sand was in view as far as the eyes could see.

After I graduated from High School, and I told everyone that I wanted to take the world by storm, I was not talking about storming into Iraq. On the contrary, I was talking about going to college, graduating with a degree that would qualify me to work on Wall Street. I always wanted to be a stock trader, buying and selling commodities. I sold that dream for the $5,000 enlistment bonus. I can see now why they had to offer that. I thought however, three years in the Army and then I could use the GI bill, and the five grand, well that could go towards lodging or books. I never thought I would end up in a war. Well, Mom if I never make it home remember how much I always loved you, and I have always appreciated you. Gota go, we are getting ready to move out.

February 24, 1991

We moved to another postition at 0900, and stayed in that position until 1200. At 1200 we moved to our firing position. Sgt. Smith and Jones shot 4 copperheads and B-Bty and C-Bty and MLRS fired. My unit fired 4 DPICM's. First gun rounds complete.

More gunfire about 1600. Went through the burm, and we were in Iraq. We set up and were just going to sit there for the night, but at 2000, we got an intel repsort that said enemy tanks spotted about 20km from here. K-Troop 2nd Armored Calvary Regiment, spotted dismounted infantry in front of their position. K- Troop is only 5km in front of us.

About 3:30 in the morning we heard the news report. It said US forces were already occupying southern Iraq. It also said that the outposts were destroyed, so I guess we were right on target when we shot earlier. The report said there were twenty people killed. I have wondered if any of the rounds that I was a part of, killed anyone. This is war, this is what they trained me for, but this isn't what I wanted to be. I never wanted to be a killer, I just wanted to work on Wall Street and sell and trade stocks.

"How Did I End Up Here Mom?". - A bad decision on my part, and now I can't reverse it, the only way out is forward and hoping our country will prevail and I will make it out alive.

If I do not make it home Mom, please don't blame yourself, I made the decision, and most of all remember "How much I have always loved you Mom and how much I have always appreciated you, and everything you have done for me.". You always put me and my brother Robby first, and even after Dad left, you always put us first and you worked tirelessly, so we could have everything we needed and most of what we wanted.

I know that you didn't want this for me, and I did not want this for myself, I just wanted to go to college and work on Wall Street trading stocks.

Gotta Go Now Mom - we are getting ready to move out again.

Love

Rick

These are actually entries from PFC Richard L Jacobs Jr's diary, and actual photo's he took during the Desert Storm conflict.