The One Where I Fell in Love with Friends

I’m a lover of Television in general and for years I have been nothing but faithful to that little black box. Whether it be a reality program, Soap opera, historical documentary or cooking show, I spent years fighting for the remote control, only to be disappointed when I was left with no choice but to watch the 6 o’clock news. But of all my great loves of television, Sitcoms were my favourite genre and there was none other like my greatest love: FRIENDS. The way I feel about it, it’s like, I finally understand what Lionel Richie has been singing about. I mean, could I be more in love?

I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve watched FRIENDS over the years, but it’s enough to know that I can’t hear anyone say the words ‘My Sandwich’ without hearing Ross scream “My sandwich? MY Sandwich?! MY SANDWICH???!!!!!” In the last 2 months alone I have watched the entire series about 6 times and laughing at Chandler’s dad jokes never gets old.

Much like a dishevelled stranger stumbles upon a lone bar stool to find comfort at the bottom of a whiskey bottle, so too does my life take comfort from the endless episodes I throw back, and sometimes wake with no recollection of ever watching, as I find myself a season and a half down the track from where I used to be. Throughout phases of sleepless nights, I constantly find myself turning to the cheeky quips of Regina Phalange, mixed with ‘How you doin’ and the piercing ‘I know!’

I’m pretty sure my family are finally dealing with the fact that FRIENDS will always be a part of my life, much like Phoebe’s tattoo of the whole world. But I still have to hear “are you watching that again Shahnee?”, “haven’t you already seen that one?”, “what’s the point in you watching it, if you’re only going to say what they’re saying the whole time you’re watching it?” But why is me binge watching this or any other program such a bad thing? I suppose one could say it has become somewhat of an addiction, like a few weeks ago I was baby sitting my younger brother and all I wanted to do was stay at home and watch FRIENDS but he wanted to go out and explore. We went snorkelling and curse my mind for running away from me, before I knew it, there was a stinger right in front of me and it’s stinger season here in Australia. Damn all the Jellyfish!! So after a day out and returning home to look like Ross after his two twos at the tanning salon.....sorry, this is all a moo point.

You see, there’s not an aspect in my life in which I don’t compare to some snippet of a TV scene, and FRIENDS reruns are constantly running through my mind. Even though I have watched the series time and time again I wait with expectation, knowing full well what each episode brings. However, I no longer say the lines aloud, instead, I just laugh aloud as the upcoming lines that are playing in my head.

As someone who is very antisocial, doesn’t go outside often or use social media to communicate with everybody, it may seem ironic that my favourite show to binge, is and always has been FRIENDS. I never really spoke to people as a kid, but TV was always my best friend. I didn’t like having friends in real life and rarely associated with others my age. So, to cry when FRIENDS was on, my family didn’t understand. Somehow it gave me all the feelings other people had with actual friends. When Chandler proposed to Monica and Eric Clapton was playing in the background it made me cry, what am I talking about, it still makes me cry every time I watch that scene. When Ross and Rachel kiss at Central Perk for the first time my heart just did backflips. I remember the night the final episode was to be aired on TV. I sat with that feeling of loss in my heart, as though my own best friends were about to leave me forever and I waited so patiently to say goodbye. My uncle came along and changed the TV channel over. Oh. My. God. I probably looked like a dear in the headlights. My eyes started welling up as I could feel the tsunami of tears about to rush down my face and my heart felt like it was about to drop out of my butt. Because I grew up in a family where you must always respect your elders, and that means no back chatting – even if they make you miss the most important goodbye in your life, which at that point, it was.

As a 90’s baby I was hooked from the very first moment I started watching. The adults in my house would always tell me I couldn’t watch that show because it was all about sex, I mean it kind of was but the nerve of them. I was happy, I was quiet, I wasn’t bothering anyone by watching it.

Back then, I thought Joey was the yummiest man alive and often wondered why Rachel didn’t let things workout between them. Then, as I got older, I realised, apart from his loud outbursts, Ross is actually my favourite, as he is (to me) the funniest main character. Chandler, the Transponster, well he will always be the funny friend. Of course, we all wanted to be Rachel, but 20 years later I would end up becoming Monica – unusually obsessed with food, afraid to not follow the rules, and always being the person who takes care of everyone else.

Each time I watch, I find something new I like or didn’t really like about a character from before. Time and personal experience also change opinions I may have had in the past. An example being, when Ross slept with that girl from the Xerox place, I used to cry with Rachel and hate Ross’s guts. But after going through a breakup with someone, sleeping with someone else, only to get back together with that other guy, I began to understand Ross’s point of view. I mean, come on Rachel, you were the one who wanted the break.

As much as we all loved the off again, on again dilemma and were all rooting for them to be together, I must say the final episode left me speechless and not in a good way. Rachel not going to live her best life and give up her dream job for a man, Oh Lord, that was too much. I have a bone to pick with this plot. You see, I, like Rachel, was stupid enough to give up my dream for the man that I loved. Yes, I got off the plane. Sure, she would have had trouble fitting in at first – she couldn’t even pronounce ‘Au Revoir’, but Americans always butcher the French. She would have been fine. Ross could’ve gone to her or better yet, he should’ve told her he loved her long before that. I never quite understood why it always took so long for him to find the courage to say anything. Yet he would always manage to find other women to date by chance. At some point I thought it should just be called the Ross and Rachel show. If only Ross could pull his weight in the relationship; I mean, come on Ross, you’re a Palaeontologist, dig a little deeper.

The characters relationships in FRIENDS such as the Ross and Rachel love story is one of the main reasons it has been named a bad show and labelling this relationship toxic. The show has faced much scrutiny over the years, but I will still defend its popularity and anyone who loves it as much as I do. Some people say it’s a terrible show because it makes jokes about sexuality and body shaming. I however disagree, it is simply a group of friends being honest about their opinions of their daily lives. The characters as individuals are not running for office or in a position of persuading a mass of people’s thinking when they make these remarks, they are speaking within their circle. If anyone can say they have never ever bitched about someone or made a derogatory comment at least once in their life, could you believe that to be true? I certainly cannot. Welcome to the real world; it sucks, you’re gonna love it.

Inside our own circles, with our closest friends or family we feel comfortable to make comments, we say things that do not conform to the sensitive world outside, where every misplaced pronoun makes you politically incorrect. We live in a world where we wait to hear someone’s opinion, only to judge and condemn them for thinking differently to ourselves. Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s DOA, who else but your friends are you going to sit around and complain to, hype each other up, and in general be there for?

If you’re like Rachel and came from a life of privilege, it can be hard to face life in the real world. So, no one told you, life was gonna be this way, it’s good to have a show like FRIENDS that shows not everybody has their life together yet and not everybody knows where they’re going.

Throughout the years I, like all of you I’m sure, have been through the highs and lows of relationships and job success and have even been able to recognise some characteristics of each of the main cast within myself. I can be as flaky as Phoebe and write songs about literally every little thing in my life. As lucky in love as Ross, as obsessed with rules and order as Monica. As dirty as Joey makes grandma’s chicken salad – yes, I want girls on bread. As whiny as Rachel, and the jackpot – I’m as sarcastic as Chandler.

Watching FRIENDS is just like being with your own group of friends – there are some deep sentimental moments, feuds, big proposals, enjoying a cup of coffee and having a laugh with your besties; because that’s what friends do. And in a world of isolation, it has made me nostalgic for the past, sharing good times with my own friends, as far away as they were while we where all locked away in our homes.

So, in a world that is constantly telling us who to be and what not to say, we can be thankful for the true friends who love us with all the weird and wackiness that comes with us. You are as blessed as I am if you have a group of friends who do binge watch shows to the point you break out in chorus, or excitedly start reciting random lines. If people look at you, thinking ‘you’re a strange kind of grown up’ be proud.

The beauty with this show is that these characters; these people aren’t aliens to us; we see a bit of ourselves in them.

Whether you sit in your living room surrounded by your family, curl up in your bed with grandmother Nestle Toulouse’s chocolate chip cookies or, like me, just have it constantly on in the background, when it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month or even your year, sometimes all you need are your FRIENDS.