The Most Depressing Books I've Ever Read...

Here we go...

You know I've read some pretty depressing books lately and you probably know that my mental state has not been great either. Franz Kafka does not make it better, if I have not repeated that enough already. Oh, neither does reading things like The Berry Pickers by Amanda Peters, that if there were not enough books on this list, hers would be there too. Some of these books I read recently and others I have read over the years but, I have been thinking for some time to give you a list of them and how depressing they actually are. I'm someone who really likes to get lost in the book and so, sad books don't often have too much of an impact once I get back to the real world - but these ones never left...

The despair that these books offer is something else entirely. I may update this list in the years to come if there are any others to add and others to take off, but this is what I can think of for now. These are the books that turn over in my mind and, in recent times, I have been thinking about. But, most of all, these are books that have either made me cry or made me really upset for days and weeks on end.

(Note: hopefully, these are not the usual depressing books. Yes, I know that "Jude the Obscure" is the most depressing thing ever written but so does everyone else. Here's a list of some that are a little bit more out there).

The Most Depressing Books I've Ever Read...

10. The Discomfort of Evening by Marieke Lucas Rijneveld

Reading about grief is bleak enough but reading about the psychological state of a child who has lost her brother as she navigates this grief in an insanely depressing way is something else entirely. Rijneveld uses raw, sometimes disturbing imagery that paints an unfiltered picture of trauma, isolation, and the painful, physical reality of the protagonist's world. Between this and her religious parents plus the fact that this book has one of the most depressing endings I have ever read - it is bleak to say the least. If you've read it, you will know what I'm talking about.

9. The Cement Garden by Ian McEwan

There's something about grief expressed by children that doesn't sit well with me, especially when it is dysregulated and traumatic. It just feels so sad and that is also true for The Cement Garden - a novel by the insanely great writer, Ian McEwan. If you've been around long enough, you'll probably remember when I read this and I started crying over it. The children have no guidance, no stability, no happiness and the family dynamic is toxic, with the house becoming a literal symbol for the level of toxicity and deterioration. It is a truly disturbing and deeply depressing novel.

8. The Miner by Natsume Soseki

I only recently read this one but it is not just upsetting, but it has to be one of the bleakest looks on humanity that I have ever read in my life. It almost feels like Kafka could've written it, but then again feels like one of those books where when you get to the end of the book nothing changes. It just stays the same and plunders on with its reality. It is a novel about how a protagonist’s journey into the mines becomes a metaphor for a descent into his own mind, revealing feelings of purposelessness, isolation, and an overwhelming sense of existential dread. And no, it doesn't get any happier. Again, the ending is horrible and just really upsetting.

7. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck

I read this one back when I was in school and I do wonder why I read it when I did. It was at the time the single most depressing thing I had ever read and its mostly because it is so short - everything that happens seems to happen in a short space of time and, by the end, life still goes on as if nothing happened. George and Lennie are best friends with Lennie having a clear mental disability. But as time goes on in the Great Depression, George realises he must commit to a sacrifice which is also seen as his ultimate act of friendship. It's just a horrifying ending to a bleak and distressing novel.

6. Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell

This also happens to be one of my favourite novels of all time and my favourite George Orwell novel. But that doesn't mean it is not entirely depressing. The stark depiction of poverty, homelessness, and the struggle for survival highlights the brutal conditions faced by the working class, making the reader aware of the despair and hopelessness that accompany such a lifestyle. And on top of this, we have characters who - try as they may - simply cannot climb the ladder socially. The brutal reality of it is that working hard may not pay off after all. It's bleak as hell.

5. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

I read this back when I was in school and I kept a whole notebook of characters and their stories, their relations and- well, basically I was obsessed with the book. It's one of those books that moves you. It feels like a bleak and depressing symphony. Anna Karenina is not just a book about love affairs, yet that seems to be the central point by which things revolve. But the novel also portrays the harsh realities of 19th-century Russian society, where characters face severe judgment and isolation for their choices - they are thus treated cruelly at the opinions of others. It's not just the ending that is bleak this time, but a whole host of things. The loneliness of some of the characters is something you can almost touch. It's a terrifyingly bleak novel which culminates at the climax with a suicide, leaving us emotionally broken for the rest of the text.

4. The Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I found this book the way most other people found it - by accident when they were becoming obsessed with Russian Literature. The whole thing about this book being actually what happened makes it even more depressing when you really think about it. But, the key thing about this text is that it provides harrowing accounts of the brutal conditions and atrocities faced by prisoners in the Soviet labour camps, revealing the depths of human suffering and the inhumane treatment inflicted by the state. Solzhenitsyn explores how the Gulag system strips individuals of their dignity, identity, and humanity, illustrating the psychological and emotional toll of oppression and the dehumanising effects of totalitarianism. A sense of despair rings throughout the book leaving the reader ultimately exhausted and upset - you cannot help thinking about what happened to these people.

3. The Jungle by Upton Sinclair

I read this book some years ago and it made me turn vegetarian for about two months - I was so badly affected by it I didn't want to go anywhere near meat for the whole time it had a hold of me. No matter what I read in that time, I was brought back to the depressing realism of The Jungle. The novel vividly depicts the harsh realities of immigrant labour in the meatpacking industry, highlighting the brutal working conditions, exploitation, and lack of rights that leave workers trapped in a cycle of poverty and despair. There is also rampant corruption and greed within the capitalist system, showing how profit motives overshadow human welfare, leading to unsafe working conditions and unethical practices that endanger both workers and consumers. This book really does not leave much to be argued with: it is a testament to its time and yet, horrifyingly upsetting.

2. All Quiet on the Western Front by EM Remarque

I read this back when I was 12 years' old because it was World Book Day and this was one of the books our teacher had brought in for each of us to have a copy of. I seemed to be the only person who actually read it because I came in looking like a ghost the next day. It was brutal, terrifying, depressing and just filled with despair. It is an unflinching portrayal of the horrors of World War I, detailing the physical and psychological trauma experienced by soldiers, stripping away any romantic notions of battle and heroism. It is graphic in its depictions of violence and death - a terror and a nightmare. For as long as I live, I don't think I could forget it.

Honorable Mentions!

• The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese
• Chorus by Rebecca Kauffman
• Darkness at Noon by Arthur Koestler

Number One

Amerika by Franz Kafka

*Starts laughing sardonically*

Oh how I've longed to talk about this again.

For those of you who know, I recently made it through Amerika by Kafka after having put it down for some time and not actually getting through the whole thing. This is by far the most existentially despairing thing I have ever read (and what a time to read it). A culmination of grief and failure, a depressing look at the world through the lens of not being able to trust a soul and, living through others taking advantage of your dream so it is nothing but a tarnished mess you must escape from. I cried about this book for days and days and it had such a profound impact on me that I worked it into poetry, I couldn't get it off my mind and I became obsessed with it. To this day it haunts me - and perhaps it always will.