The Batman: meh

So I was actually excited about this movie. We didn't have a stand alone Batman movie in 10 years. When they announced Robert Pattinson would play Batman, I was skeptical. I hated the Twilight Saga and most of his other roles had never really sparked anything for me. He has always been a very blah personality in my eyes. This role, however, fit him quite well. He played the low tone, mysterious loner as perfect as I could've hoped it would have been played.

The movie started out creepy and didn't provide much info but sure it was intended to be a mystery because of the Riddler. Much of the characters were not what I would've expected based on the past characters seen in many different media genres. They did well with Batman and Falcone. As referenced before, Robert played both Bruce Wayne and Batman perfectly. John Turturro, who played Falcone, performed admirably as a high profile mob boss. However, for everyone else, most of the acting was not the issue. It was the character and how they were written.

Gordon was too naïve when he should've been cunning and intuitive. He just let Batman do something and followed along. Batman is suppose to come to him to offer help and they figure things out together.

Catwoman was too whiny. Normally, she's an antihero with a conniving and sneaky nature but in this, she was all about getting revenge. She already knew certain things and could get anywhere she wanted. She just sat on the sidelines and let the big strong Batman do everything. The mental strength of this character was missed by a lot.

Penguin wasn't hard hitting. To me, Penguin is a force to be reckoned with. He's super rich with a huge crew to back him up. This movie made him a lowly, sniveling henchmen. There is no way the Penguin would just sit back and let someone else run Gotham so poorly. The only good part about Penguin was that make up. They did such an amazing job, I would've never figured out it was Colin Ferrell. Even analyzing every inch, I still don't believe it was Colin.

Alfred was way too young. He was only ~20 years older than Bruce? I don't think so. Originally being born in 1946, he needs to have some age on him before Batman is created. I understand moving his age a bit to fit the current time so he's not an 80 year old butler. They need to at least make Alfred someone who is wise and learned to be able to give sound advice. He had a whole career in British intelligence before coming to Wayne Manor. They made it seem like he started working for the Waynes when he was just a young man and that doesn't fly with me.

The Riddler was the worst of them all. They made him some subdued conspiracy theorist that had a grudge against the wealthy. Riddler is supposed to have some grudge against Batman and play mind games with him while trying to take over Gotham. All he did was figure out the wealthy were screwing over citizens and took action into his own hands. They is not what Riddler is about. Plus his entire outfit was just stupid. I get that its not a cartoon or comic book but at least make it interesting. Riddler is a psychotic, flashy genius. They needed to give him some flare but keep it just under what the Joker would have worn. A dark green suit and showing his intelligence would've been a much better road to take.

Aside from the many character flaws, the story was too convoluted. There were too many enemies that intertwined everything badly. Really, four bad guys in one superhero movie is just too many. Two big bad guys with maybe a smaller one could work if written properly. Having more than three diminishes better outcomes. The movie was also way too dark I could barely see what was properly happening. After about the 2 hour mark, the story just unraveled too much and I started to get bored.

*SPOILER* I also hated how they made Thomas Wayne out to be some evil billionaire running for office to steal money. Thomas was an altruistic philanthropist who cared about all citizens of Gotham. He was there to help build up the city and bring Gotham into its golden age. Him and Martha were killed by some thug with a gun. NOT some mobster henchmen with a plan to take him out because they didn't like his politics.

In the end, I did like Batmobile and it being built like a tank. Oh and that shirtless scene shot from a lower point of view was very nice. I like much Robert got ripped for this role. He has always had a nice body but this time he has some good meat on him.

After everything, I would give it a 6.5/10, C-, or 3 stars. This is the first stand alone Batman movie I have no desire to see again let alone purchase on DVD or digital.