Suddenly Leipzig and Sunwich: For Enjoying the Chaos that is Kepiziing

This time, I held in my poop for quite a long time—maybe over 5 hours—until I started feeling unbearable pain, haha. I just wanted to know how long I could endure the pain that started in my stomach and spread to my anus. You guys have done this too out of sheer boredom, right?

Just relax, bro. I'm trying to control my thoughts and my bowels. Because, as Filsuf once said, "I am God to myself." Damn, that's deep, right? Haha. But whatever, bro. Let's forget ourselves for a moment, forget the greatness of God who is far above us. Can we merge with that divine entity? How do we dissolve ourselves without the separation of me and God?

Dissolution

Like self-control over pain when holding in poop, we all have a limit to how long we can endure pain, how long we can hold onto grudges, and how long we can persist. God and I are inseparable. I dissolve myself, making Him walk alongside me in joy, pain, sadness, happiness, anger, and vengeance. I have all those qualities, whether dark or light.

Responding to the chaos around us or responding to the accusations of others—isn’t that also a divine trait? How He sees me and how I see the world. We are no strangers to judgment systems or laws, where those who believe in God uphold these principles.

Will we just stand by when chaos causes some of our friends to starve? Will we stay silent when some of our friends die in vain? Will we do nothing when our beautiful lives are made difficult by forces that were never part of our existence? Of course, we’ll get angry. I believe even God would.

Escape

We are gods who cannot fix the chaos. So, do we dive into the abyss and shatter, or do we save ourselves? But sadly, there is no savior here.

Like God, we are reckless. We create chaos and suffering everywhere—that's our skill, isn't it? Making mistakes left and right, then throwing the blame on others? So how are we any different from God?

The only difference is that we lack responsibility. We tend to shift our problems onto others or something bigger—even God. We accuse and badmouth each other, or we glorify ourselves while belittling others. The fancy term for this? Oppression.

Oppression exists everywhere—in places of worship, in schools, even in so-called "equality-conscious" hangout spots. We can’t deny that the desire to dominate each other still exists, even when we reject power structures. So, can we truly escape oppression?

Anger and Vengeance

Each of us has a fire to throw. Each of us has control over ourselves. Be powerful in handling your anger and grudges. But for how long?

Can we really store all the accumulated anger and vengeance over things we weren’t even directly involved in—or worse, things we were victims of?

Holding onto anger and resentment might be the third or fourth thing we must do, but maybe taking revenge won’t mean anything in the end. Just walk forward and have fun. Release your anger in the right place—like toward capitalism or the state, which have caused us real suffering.

Even if you’re angry at your parents, your friends, or your ex, they probably don’t deserve it. After all, they’re people you love, right? Could you really do that to them? Haha.

So, channel your anger and grudges wisely, my friend. There are bigger things waiting for us to destroy.

Back to Poop

The process of turning food into poop is quite long—it passes through multiple organs before it finally becomes poop. Just like anger and resentment, there’s a long series of events before they build up. So, enjoy the pain before it comes out and gets flushed down the toilet.

But do you forget the process of becoming poop? Maybe we’re only focused on what has already become—not on the process of becoming.

Poop, us, and God are all part of a long formation process. It would be a shame to forget the process of becoming poop, of becoming human, or of becoming God.

Once again, release it in the right place. The toilet is the state and its elite.

Have Fun with Your Anger

Enjoy pain, loneliness, and chaos—that’s something we must do. We are marginalized because our friends are richer. We are pushed aside because our friends are married. We are excluded because our siblings get to go to Mecca. But that’s not our friends’ or siblings’ fault. It’s the world that has shaped them that way.

Be angry at things that matter—not at friends who mock you for being poor, not at your ex, and definitely not at your parents. That’s trivial, bro. You could easily break things around you or do something to make them suffer.

But is there really satisfaction in seeing the people you love suffer? No, right? So just enjoy the pain. No matter how much they hurt you, it’s nothing compared to the pain inflicted by the state—on you, your parents, your friends, and even your ex.

So have fun with your anger. Gather it up and direct it toward something truly deserving of it.

Collecting Anger and Chilling Again

Days go by—coffee, waking up, sleeping, more coffee. Life is simple. The ones who make it hard are the state and the expectations of your dad and your girlfriend’s dad.

So just enjoy. One day, we’ll die anyway. And then we’ll burn in flames, bro!

Burn, burn—"fight fire with fire, so everything turns to ash!"

Damn, that’s intense. I think I’ll just listen to Leipzig’s song instead.

Just because.

Here’s a line from Leipzig:

"In my head, there’s a storm and thunder and lightning and rain and waves and dirty shoes and dirty clothes and toothpicks and bottled tea and artificial flowers and Astrud Gilberto and chairs and a little thought about the sanity of my own mind."

(Leipzig)