Reviewing "Jingle All the Way," the Sequel, and My Ideas for a Threequel

Merry Christmas, all!!

Among the many reasons why so many (myself included) love Christmas is the movies and holiday related shows. Ever since movies have been around, we have seen holiday related films hit theaters, and they've evolved so much since then. We all have our favorites. We all have the long-winded debate about a certain film being a Christmas movie. I have my favorites as far as holiday films, and one of them is definitely Jingle All the Way.

We all know this film; Arnold Schwarzenegger starred in the film as Howard Langston, a workaholic father whose relationship with young son Jamie is in danger of being strained due to Howard missing out on a lot of his big moments; the latest one being a karate class. As the film also established, Jamie is a huge fan of Turbo Man, the fictional superhero with a show-within-the-film that Jamie is seen watching in the film's opening. Howard returns home after dealing with a traffic ticket, and while conversing with Jamie, he is told that Jamie wants a Turbo Man action figure for Christmas.

Howard makes the promise and tells Liz, who asked Howard if he got it. Howard panics, but cover it up with a big lie that he got the figure. What follows is a lot of hustle and bustle in hilarious fashion, which include Howard's encounters with postman Myron Larabee, played hilariously by Sinbad. Myron's also looking to get a Turbo Man, and that turns into a very fierce and hilarious rivalry between the two for the figure. In a way, he's not the only rival Howard has.

This man needs no introduction, but I'll give him an amazing one. This man is Philip Edward Hartman. You might remember him from his many years on Saturday Night Live, as well as films like CB4 and Houseguest. In this film, Hartman played meddlesome neighbor Ted Malkin, who always seems to insert himself into the Langstons' business, especially where Liz is concerned. Howard can't stand him, because he knows (or at least suspects) that Ted has his eyes on Liz, and in the climax, Ted reveals his motives by privately flirting with Liz, who brushed him off in hilarious fashion.

Regarding the rest of the cast, Rita Wilson (Tom Hanks' wife) played Liz Langston, and James Belushi (who worked with Schwarzenegger in Red Heat) played a crooked Santa. It was quite an ensemble cast, which included Martin Mull as a DJ, Phil Morris and Amy Pietz as co-hosts of a parade, Robert Conrad as a cop who plagues Howard, Danny Woodburn (aka Mickey Abbott from Seinfeld) as an "elf" with Belushi's character, and Curtis Armstrong as the actor playing Booster in the parade. An eagle-eyed wrestling fan can also spot Paul Wight playing the big Santa at the warehouse. At the time, Wight was in World Championship Wrestling as The Giant, and it was three years after this film's release that Wight began his long sting in the World Wrestling Federation (now World Wrestling Entertainment) as The Big Show.

Jingle All the Way hit theaters on November 16, 1996. Amazing; next year, the film turns 30, and I expect some pomp and circumstance surrounding this next year. This was the third and final film to feature both Sinbad and Phil Hartman; Coneheads and Houseguest were the others. Speaking of Hartman, this was his final film released during his lifetime, he was taken from us in the early hours of May 28, 1998. I watch this film repeatedly around this time. I watched it at least five times this month alone. I love everything about Jingle All the Way; the hilarity, the quest, how it satirizes commercialism and popular kids shows, all of it!

18 years after the film's release, we were treated to a standalone sequel also released by 20th Century Fox, with WWE Studios collaborating. Jingle All the Way 2 featured Larry the Cable Guy in the spotlight, with the Blue Collar Comedy group member as divorced dad Larry Phillips, who finds himself in competition for the adoration of his eight-year-old daughter, Noel. The "rival" against Larry: Noel's rich businessman stepfather, Victor Baxter, played by Brian Stepanek. After reading (or misreading) Noel's letter to Santa, Larry has in mind the very thing that will win Noel's adoration: a Harrison the Talking Bear doll. Unfortunately, Victor's an obstacle in that as well, as he buys up all of the dolls to make sure he delivers one to Noel.

Jingle All the Way 2 was released on December 2, 2014, and the cast also included Kirsten Robek as Trish Phillips-Baxter, Noel's mother. The WWE representation comes from Santino Marella (real name Anthony Carelli), who plays Claude, a postal worker who is also Larry's best friend. I do love the sequel as well; I watch it at around this time as well, because it definitely has its good moments.

This year, the wheels have been turning. I am often full of ideas, and one idea I had about a few weeks ago involves a third film, which would also be a standalone film. As usual, I consider the climate we are in. Inclusivity and representation are at a high level, as they should be. So my idea for a third film would be a gender-flipped version, centering on a mother and a female rival.

Regarding the lead:

I'm kinda between Eva Longoria and Justina Machado in the lead role. I wanted to put both of them in it, but I would put Machado in the central protagonist role, with Longoria as the antagonistic rival. It would be somewhat similar to the format from the sequel; Machado as a working single mom, and Longoria as a mom who is a bit more well off, and she lets Machado know it--repeatedly. They would be perfect in those roles, especially Longoria in that heel role.

Another idea that just came to me had either Longoria or Machado in the lead role, and the antagonist role could be taken on by Jillian Bell. 22 Jump Street made me a big fan of Jillian Bell, and it increased over the years, especially in her recent appearances in Candy Cane Lane and Good Burger 2. Bell played villains in both; as evil elf Pepper in the holiday film, and as Katt Bozwell in the latter. I see one of two ideas for Bell, either a role similar to Sinbad's in the first film, or a role similar to Stepanek's in the sequel. Either way, Jillian Bell could make it work.

And yes, I would continue the trend of wrestling stars being in this franchise. We had Big Show in the first, Santino in the second, regarding the third, one choice I had is Zelina Vega, WWE's inaugural Queen of the Ring, a former Women's Tag Team Champion, and a former Women's United States Champion. Other ideas: Rhea Ripley, Liv Morgan, and Becky Lynch, and I just thought of another one--Nikki Bella. The choices are many for sure.

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Jingle All the Way is quite the underrated holiday film classic. It was a big hit back then, and still is among fans even now. The sequel was also hilarious, and now, I do have my hopes that we do get a third one somehow, especially a female-led version. It would be truly epic if that happens, but for now, I'll continue to enjoy the classics.