Cops and Robbers

It's the DC universe! Yay!

It's Cowboys and Indians! Yay!

Say what?

How did Cowboys and Indians get in there? Or for that matter, Cops and Robbers?

My word, comic book heroes in the past 50 years has been viewed as lofty Greek tragedies or given the weight of Shakespeare. The arrogance of their followers actually believe that comics, graphic novels, and films are acceptable substitutes for real literature with centuries-old literate legitimacy.

They fill the vacuum of their lack of education of the classics and grasp of understanding why Hamlet will never be forgotten and Batman will with tribal impulses. They do not understand what makes something last for centuries and are mired with basal conflicts suited for children. Children understand good guys vs. bad guys because they are taught who to root for and who to hate. And that's all that's needed.

Loving a McDonald's hamburger is great. Loving a perfectly good cut of prime rib is great. Saying a McDonald's hamburger is as great as a cut of prime rib is not. They both come from the same cow but there is a reason why one costs $.99 and the other $39.95. Their experience is also not the same in the flavor nor the environment of its consumption.

I understand people up to their mid-20's who do not know comic book heroes should not be placed among great literature. One's brain is still forming. But after that, be the adult you now are and read something worthy of greatness.

These comic book universes contain fantastic comic book people with comic book stories. These characters are not worthy of any serious discussion of their qualities or failings as the media and followers purport them to be. Why? Because the situation in which they find themselves is always the same – just like cops and robbers and cowboys and Indians. They are no better than that. And by definition, they cannot be.

What would it take to deserve the “angst” these generally one-dimensional heroes claim to go through to be a cop or cowboy? How about seeing the situation with the robbers or Indians' eyes? Do these heroes have the ability to change their minds about their cause? Can they understand their villains' perspective? If they could, would there be less trouble? Would they use their superpower or skill set they are famous for as a last resort? You can not force someone to the bargaining table but how often do they try?

A hero or villain is only absolute to the person who decides which is which. Literature shows when one understands the reason why a villain becomes one we get all gooey. Darth Vader had a tough time when he was a kid and became a bad person. (Cop shows do this all the time when you discover the hardened drug dealer's dad used to beat up his family and mom smoked crack. But he is savable.)

I am not saying some origin stories have not shone legitimate reasons why someone went good or bad giving the comic book hero some depth. But it's the nature of the superhero to fight someone or thing to save the day. Otherwise, where are the action and excitement?

Creating a superhero called “The Mediator” whose power is getting people to sit down at the table and mettle out a mutual agreement won't sell many tickets. And it's this limit of emotional growth, like a real person, which keeps comic book heroes relegated to cops and robbers. Because if everybody got along we may have peace on Earth but do not need comic book heroes.

Superheroes used to be fun. They were meant to be entertaining fluff. Superman and Batman fought crime and saved the day and we felt better knowing something greater than ourselves could save us.

Eventually, they became people with tortured souls. I remember feeling like crap after I watched “The Dark Knight.” Even Shakespeare had some comic relief. I did not feel entertained. I felt awful – I suppose the filmmakers thought if you kill enough innocent people to make the hero suffer, that means it is great art and should be uttered in the same breath as Hamlet.

Legitimizing the full rounded character of a comic book hero, likening its actions and reasons to let's say even Ebenezer Scrooge, cannot be without contradicting what a superhero is! So stop it!

It is said sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. (I heard that on “Downton Abbey.”) Indeed, children are sarcastic without even knowing it. Children think cops and robbers are the highest forms of literature and storytelling. And that's where superheroes belong. They can be just as satisfying as candy and pizza while nary a trace of nutritional value. Just as a Tootsie Roll should not be on a menu at “Spago,” stop believing “The Avengers” is worthy of being on the same marquee as “Citizen Kane.”

© 2020 by Kevin S. Birnbaum