Book Review: "Second Self" by Chloe Ashby

My body may not be functioning as intended - but as intended by whom? I'd never subscribed to the notion that women have a biological instinct to have children, and standing in the studio in the dark, I experienced a moment of clarity: even if I did, it wouldn't make a difference. What mattered was that Noah and I had made a promise to one another. Like Hendrick, we had original intentions, and I had to respect that.

- Second Self by Chloe Ashby

I'm as confused as you are if I'm being honest. This does not seem like a topic I would read about too often and, for the life of me I don't know what drew me to it now. It was cheaply available on my Kindle, yes, but there was something else that made me buy this book. Perhaps it was some kind of curiosity to see what was going on in these realms of literature, or perhaps it was the strangeness of the summary found on the 'About this Book' section that drew me in. Whatever it was, I have read it now and I have some opinions on why this book has been good to me as a reading experience, but also has some issues worth addressing.

Cathy is married to Noah and there is a significant age gap between them however, the dynamic of their relationship seems to work. They have been married for some years whilst both have made the decision that children are not a possibility for them. Whilst all this is being established, we meet other characters who are their friends and do have children. For example: there is the lively Theo, an elusive child who pops up in the story whenever Cathy seems to be thinking about her life decisions like a deux ex machina. There is also an argument between two parents as one child started throwing things at another - again, seemingly perfectly timed for some reason. What I'm saying is that though Cathy is narrating the story, she is perhaps seeing only what she wants to see.

Cathy goes back on the decision she made with her husband not to have children and realises that she does not know exactly what she wants yet and so, starts the proceedure of having her eggs frozen. I'm not going to lie to you when I say that this story goes absolutely nowhere fast, but there is also no atmosphere either. It's just like the reader is dropped into this situation where nothing is going on, there's no reasons for it, there's no scenery and the whole thing feels like its droning on and on. By the time we actually get to the procedure itself, absolutely nothing has changed except for the frequency in which people ask each other if they are feeling alright.

I have to say that the main conflict being about Noah not wanting children and Cathy not knowing whether she did was a good concept, but it was poorly written into the story. Eruptions of seemingly random arguments followed by Noah taking time to work in New York and this whole new storyline about Cathy's mother - the book seemed rammed with unnecessary details that made the book feel even more so, like it was going nowhere. It felt jittery and stagnated and that every time a big decision was being made you could almost predict that our fragile little main character would just break down into tears. She really is whiny as hell.

The one good thing about this book was the more interesting supporting characters. For example: Anna is way more interesting than Cathy. Cathy seems like a whingebag whereas, Anna feels like more of an adult with responsibilities and character and even a personality that is not predicated on who she is married to. It seems like most of Cathy's personality relies on Noah and most of Noah's personality relies on Cathy. It just makes for boring characters.

All in all, it was a good and different reading experience though I do not think I will be trying this author again for a while. The whole premise of this book could have been better executed and I don't think I felt very much involved with the main character. It was a good idea, but not so much when the book got underway.