Belated film reviews: Avalon High

Ever since watching, confused, the bizarre Zapped, I am wary when it comes to somewhat modern Disney Channel Original movies. But, because I have pretty much promised myself to watch all these lists of films, I threw myself headfirst into Avalon High with, as per, a two-sentence premise found on Disney+ before I pressed play. It was written in French, and it translated to something along the lines of "A teenage girl, while studying the legends of King Arthur, discovers that some of her classmates have medieval blood. Then, she grows to understand that her high school is a modern-day Camelot." It is also loosely based on a novel of the same title by Meg Cabot, to whom we owe the iconic Princess Diaries.

Before we start, here is a full disclaimer. I didn't think I was going to like this at all. I thought it would be something so strange and far-fetched that I would stare at the screen in disbelief and fight with myself not to turn it off, wondering why I hadn't simply rewatched High School Musical for the fifteenth time. But, as the film carried on and unfolded, I decided that I was enjoying myself a lot, and I wouldn't mind rewatching it in the future, which is a lot more positive than I have been towards many films since I have started writing these reviews.

Cast wide, I didn't really know anyone, except for Gregg Sulkin, the actor playing football superstar and somewhat high school heartthrob Will Wagner. Because I am usually tragic at recognising anyone in films and TV shows, I spent an hour and a half thinking "But he WAS in something!" without ever figuring out what the something in question was. After a quick Google search, I discovered that he had the role of Liam Booker in Faking It, an MTV show I only partially watched a few years ago. The rest of the cast remains positively unknown to me.

At the start of the movie, we see our heroine, Allie Pennington, unpacking in her brand new bedroom and taking her sweet time, even lying to her parents when they ask her how she is getting on. As it transpires, the Pennington family, composed of two sweet professors in medieval literature and their only teenage daughter, move around quite a lot and never spend more than a few months in the same place, which is why Allie doesn't necessarily want to unpack. What's the point of making herself comfortable if she is going to leave in three to five business months? Her parents break the news to her that they are staying for three years, and Allie excitedly realises that she is going to graduate from this new high school of hers and that she can also try out for the track team. It is never implied nor disclosed at any point where the Penningtons live in the United States, and them living in the USA is only an assumption on my end because it is a Disney Channel Original Movie, which are usually set in the land of Coca-Cola. The film was actually shot in New Zealand, which makes for absolutely stunning backgrounds and settings, especially during the beach scene towards the end. Also, as someone who cannot run, I immensely respect anyone who tries out for an after-school activity that solely consists of running, and I very much appreciated the fact that sports were not the be-all and end-all of Allie's personality. She just happened to be a teenage girl who likes running.

Allie is enrolled at Avalon High, a seemingly normal high school in a stunning medieval building that almost looks like a cathedral. Other than perfectly setting a vibe for the rest of the film, the various decors in Avalon High were simply wonderful. I couldn't get enough of the stained glass windows of Avalon High School or the old school charm of the Penningtons' house. Allie witnesses bullying as soon as she walks through the door and tries to find her locker, and instead runs into Will, the guy she met at the water fountain in the park while she was going for a run the previous day. He introduces her to his best friend, Lance, yes in the mid-2000s, and his girlfriend, Jenn, and they head to history class together, where they will study, get that, King Arthur. I bet you're all surprised. Spending an entire term on one topic was never something we did at any of the schools I attended, but then again, I grew up in France, a country where teachers have to cram the longest programs in the shortest amount of time, whatever the subject, so maybe it was just us. The class is paired up in teams to present projects, and Allie ends up with Miles, the shy, bullied teenager of earlier, who doesn't want Allie to make friends with him because he is the bullied one, the nerd, and it's not a good idea for her to hang out with him.

Their history project is about the Order of the Bear, which is something that, despite being raised by two medieval literature professors who never stop talking about these legends and having dreams about King Arthur and his pals, Allie has never heard of. (To which her teacher simply replies "ask your parents." Great teaching, that.) In the early evening, Miles turns up at Allie's house because he doesn't like to wait around before doing his assignments, and they study together. They, indeed, have to ask the Penningtons about the Order of the Bear, which is a group of people who somehow believe King Arthur is going to be reincarnated at some point in history. They think the whole legend is going to repeat itself, unfold itself all over again, the cheating wife, the evil step-brother, the knights turning against him, the works.

Allie has made the track team and, while she goes running, she finds Will brooding against a large tree in the park. For your typical high-school jock, teenage heartthrob who is supposed to be popular and winning football games, the dude broods kind of a lot. They hang out, talk about football and people's expectations, and Allie delivers the single most Disney inspirational speech about victory and remembering how it feels like to win. We're only half an hour into this, girl. Maybe save some for the big game at the end or something? It could have been seen as a cliché, which it probably is, a little, but the fact that Allie laughed halfway through and said she didn't know where it came from made it a lot better. It felt like, in some way, Avalon High was trying to play with some clichés of their own making. The popular football star broods and is a nice boy. Everyone is somehow very involved in their history project. The colour palette and the fashion are a lot more subdued than in your average Disney Channel film of the era. The heroine makes fun of herself for delivering a perfect end of chick flick speech. It tried, and I liked that a lot.

Allow me to briefly extend on colour palettes here- I truly enjoyed the fashion in this. Some of the most recent Disney Channel movies have made abysmal decisions, clothing-wise. There are a lot of bright colours clashing, mismatched patterns, turquoise tights, leggings, heels that should not have been worn with those outfits, scarves, big and clinking accessories, seemingly all assembled in the dark. The colourful teenage fashion worked and aged well in shows like Lizzie McGuire and That's So Raven because it truly was the fashion of the time. I was a teenager at the time Lizzie McGuire was on television, and the clothes they wore on the show were a slightly more over-the-top version of what people my age liked. We crimpled our hair, put butterfly clips on, wore big shoes and brightly coloured layered tops. It stopped working in the second part of the 2000s, around the time when the Disney stars were Zendaya and Bella Thorne, because such over-the-top clothing was not fashionable anymore. Yes, the individual items might have been current, and there have been one too many people on Earth who had been fooled by the skinny jeans and ballet flats combo. But no one ever mixed and matched colours and patterns and accessories like that, which resulted in the looks falling flat, trying way too hard, and not aging well. I liked that the fashion in Avalon High was a lot more subdued and discreet. Everyone looks like a normal teenager, but no one is wearing purple skinny jeans with turquoise hi-top Converse, a mustard top, a green hoodie, a thin sequined scarf, and huge star-shaped earrings. In Avalon High, people wear jeans, boots, jumpers, and tops that your everyday high school student would wear, down to the colour palette, full of neutral tones. And it was refreshing on the eyeballs.

There is a football game at the weekend, and then, a party at Will's house to celebrate, where Miles and Allie go. (Speaking of Miles, I know it wasn't him, but he reminded me a lot of Larry Tudgeman in Lizzie McGuire.) If you're like me, used to shows and films portraying high school parties as places where everyone drinks themselves to death, makes out, and jumps in the swimming pool, you're in for the ride of your lifetime, but in reverse. It's a Disney Channel film, after all, so people quietly drink sodas and eat tacos, and Marco, Will's step-brother, crashing the party and the buffet (the buffet!) with insect-shaped sweets, is as crazy as it gets. Allie tries to find a bathroom upstairs but only stumbles upon Jenn and Lance, the girlfriend and the best friend, caught in a secret love tryst. They spot Allie, and Jenn follows her downstairs and begs her to keep the secret, because if Will finds out, it could break his spirit, just like in the King Arthur legend.

Yeah, I guess they all really liked the Round Table stories in this school.

At this point, I thought I had the rest of the film figured out to a T. I thought Allie would keep the secret, and Will would find out, then discover Allie knew all along, and he would get angry at her, especially after her speech on fairness and how no one's allowed to cut lines at the cinema, even to meet their friends.

And I like that I was wrong.

As it so happens, Miles has visions of the future, like Raven Baxter but a little more painful on his skull, and he turns up at night at Allie's house because that's what he saw from the future. He pictured them poring over the Order of the Bear book once again and discovering a secret page. I guess this is the official moment in the story where they didn't just like the King Arthur legends but realised they were caught in the middle of a modern-day version of them. The secret page reveals that King Arthur will be reincarnated on a day when there is a moon eclipse and a meteor shower all at once, obviously written in more poetic and medieval terms, and, coincidentally, this is happening on Friday, during the big game. Allie wants to warn Will, but Marco won't let her, so she ends up informing their history teacher, Mr. Moore, who knows all about the Order of the Bear and promises to keep an eye on Will. That's a completely unrealistic amount of people who believe in the reincarnation of King Arthur and medieval myths, but because we need it to keep the film going, I will let it go.

On the Friday night with a capital F, Will drives to school, which doesn't have a car park but a large grass area where people seem to abandon their cars, and, on his way in, he catches Jenn and Lance sharing a romantic moment, then drives away. Allie, who is seemingly always at the right place at the right time, uses her track team practice and runs behind his car all the way to the forest and, after being pushed down a hill, reveals to Will that he may or may not be the reincarnation of King Arthur, and he is caught in the same story as the original myth. At this point, that boy just caught his girlfriend cheating on him with his best friend since first grade, and he is missing an important football game, why not add to the pile that he is the reincarnation of a legendary medieval king? That sounds like a fun Friday night. Everyone drives back to school so Will can participate in the game, and, in the middle of all of this, that was the single most unrealistic part. I can excuse the medieval legends and everyone who believes in them, but I cannot accept that Will has run away before the game started and was basically a no-show, but he came back halfway through, as though nothing happened, and his coach let him back on the field, no questions asked. Come on! The team seems to be falling apart, just like the knights of the Round Table turning against Arthur and crushing his spirit and, when it gets to half-time, Will sorts his problems out, forgives everyone, and motivates his troops with the same speech Allie gave him that one time in the forest.

Miles and Allie watch the shortest moon eclipse and meteor shower in the history of planet Earth, as well as the football game, and they realise Will has not come back to the field after picking up his helmet in the locker rooms. One of Miles' visions reveals that he has been taken to the theatre by Marco, who they all believe is the reincarnation of Mordred, Arthur's evil step-brother. On paper, they have reason to. Marco, first of all, is Will's step-brother. He is a bit of a bully, isn't nice to anyone at all, and looks like he listens to aggressive music of the metal persuasion in his spare time. Of course, all signs point to him. They all run inside the theatre where they find Will, beaten up, and, as it transpires, the reincarnation of Mordred isn't Marco, who was trying to protect everyone all along, but Mr. Moore, the history teacher with a brand new English accent and no limp after all.

Also, Will isn't King Arthur.

It's Allie.

And I really liked it.

They are all magically transported to a beach where Allie, with her Excalibur fashioned out of a plastic toy sword, because any sword turns into Excalibur at this point, fights against the knight version of her history teacher, while being helped by Marco, Will, and Miles, who is a modern-day Merlin. Yes, this is so completely far-fetched and a bit ridiculous, written like that, but it worked well and, believe me, had I seen Avalon High as a kid or a pre-teen, I would have become thoroughly obsessed with it. I would have made Camelot, King Arthur, and the knights of the Round Table my entire personality, I would have fallen head over heels in love with Will, as sure as this film ends well, and as sure as Allie vanquishes her liar of a teacher.

The police collect the odd Mr. Moore, who is shouting about medieval myths and, once again, Will is allowed back on the football field even though he abandoned everyone and missed out on the vast majority of the game, though one can argue it wasn't really his fault during the second half. He scores the most important touchdown of his teenage life, takes his team to the state championship, and, finally, after a lot of "We'll have to talk later," kisses Allie, because these two have liked each other all along. The film ends with everyone sitting together at the cafeteria, and it being transposed to the Round Table with everyone in medieval dress makes for a perfectly cheesy and wholesome ending.

Maybe I liked being proven wrong in the middle of all of this. Maybe I like that I jumped headfirst into a modern-day Disney Channel Original Movie, and it was a cool adaptation of medieval legends instead of something that included intrusive smartphone apps and people pretending to be dogs in public.