Artemis fowl film...Oh no!!!

Oh god NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOOO NOOO NOOO NOOOO NOOO NOOO000 NOOOOOOOO!!!!!, ok, so I loved these books as a kid, absolutely loves them, and when I heard there was an Artemis fowl moving coming out oh maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan was I stoked, but then I saw the trailer and I thought to myself.. WTF!!. They show him training with a blade, a blade!!!!!.. This does not in anyway match up with the Artemis fowl character from the book, the one we all know and love that Artemis Fowl rarely puts more effort into things than using his hands to hack some database due to him being a criminal genius . That’s what his muscle Butler is for!!!, Butler Is the person who handles all of the muscle!!!!!!. And on top of all that this movie seems to gets yet another major thing very, very very, very, very, very, very, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY wrong about the series and that is the fact that Artemis Fowl is NOT in anyway a hero in the first book. He’s a villain. He is in the game for cash and it isnt until later in the series were he developed. Honestly this aspect is what made the story unique and not some story filled with stereotypes, especially going into the stereotype filled young adult literature genre. Fowl isn’t the chosen one, isn’t some kind of prophetic hero to look up to, NO!!!, He’s a villain and most of the books are him trying to recover from one of his schemes that have back fired.

This films also seems to strip the main hero of the story Holly Short of nearly all her character. She’s not Artemis’ sidekick or friend at ALL!!!, The roles are that Fowl is the protagonist Holly is the hero. And they are constantly at odds with each other constantly warning with one another, which makes for a much more interesting dynamic and a much more interesting story line. Holly is in my opinion one of the better characters In the series and in the entire young adult genre, I mean She’s constantly trying to prove herself (something I could relate to as having aspergeris I was always looked down by my peers and even writing on this website people tell me I’d never make money on this site but just like Short, I am determined)

Plus I LOVE the polar opposite between her and Artemis, while She’s a good person...She balances out Artemis’ tendency to delve into boarder sociopathic schemes. But yet this film seems to be going in the direction of portraying him as a run of the mill kid who needs to save his father and gets hidden treasures to help. It’s literally Spy Kids with a bit of crime drama added in, and we all know how spy kids did in theatres... oh my freaking god Instead, they sacrificed a much more of the interesting story where a genius child decided not to use his intellect for good, but dedicate his life to becoming a master thief (oh not it’s not like that wouldn’t be a much more intriguing story.. COME ON HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!!!!)

It gives him a lot of agency. He’s not running around waiting for things to happen to him. He is the one in the freaking driver seat, he is in control, And when he does get into a jam, he uses his genius level intellect to quickly think of ways he can get his way out of it.

Artemis Fowl is one of the most interesting characters and one of the most entertaining stories I have honestly read as a young kid and it’s a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very HUGE shame that many people will never get to see this, will never get to see Artemis for how he really should be portrayed, and never get to know how great it could have been.

I mean this movie and even tho it hasn’t came out yet I can just tell it’s gonna be a price of crap that will anger ALOT OF FANS OF THE SERIES!!!, I can already say even tho it’s not out please if your a fan.. DO...NOT..GO..TO...THIS..MOVIE, if you want your love of the books to remain in tact, I know that I want mine to stay in tact and I certainly won’t be seeing this movie I mean I think the whole movie has pretty much been summed up in this review here of how god awful it is gonna be, how terrible it will be, how much of a middle finger it is to ANYONE WHO IS A FAN OF THESE AMAZING BOOK SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean honestly after reading this can you tell me that you have any desire to see this movie?, if you can great for you then you clearly aren’t a true fan but for any true fan of these books, your like me.... DISCUSTED at how much of the beautiful plot Hollywood just gave the middle finger to. Oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man this movie is just gonna suck so bad I don’t EVER wanna see it EVER as I love Eion Colfers novels to much and I love perhaps one of the best days in my childhood and I do not EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER wanna spoilt it