A Silly Secret

Many of us know and love classic slapstick comedies, like Airplane! Slapstick comedy is a lost art form in film. It combines physical humor, with literal interpretations of figures of speech, and turns puns into visual hilarity. The aforementioned classic with the likes Leslie Nielsen, Julie Hagerty, and even basketball legend Kareem Abdul-Jabar, is a well known and beloved entry in the genre. There’ve been a number of spiritual successors to it, but the one that has been with me since childhood, claims less notoriety.

Top Secret! wasn’t the instant classic of its predecessor, but even after years of watching, I still catch new things from time to time. When it came to cast, it was no slouch either. Boasting actors such as a very young Val Kilmer, as well as legends Peter Cushing and Omar Sharif, Top Secret! is a joyful romp through Rock and Roll, and the French Underground.

This movie pulls no punches on the visual comedy, and takes going over the top to a new level. Every small visual gimmick will have you watching again to try and spot more, and while you’re paying attention to the visuals, the dialog will hit you with ridiculous puns, and even teases you with jokes in other languages. While some of the comedic moments have lost their relevance, like exploding Ford Pintos and Blue Lagoon parodies, most of it requires very little pop culture knowledge of the era to get a laugh. The biggest guffaws come from prop rooms, hitching motorcycles, and adolescent double entendres.

The relentless barrage of visual, musical, and dialog based humor is a delight for the senses, and the funny bone. I’m convinced that if the filmmakers could’ve made physical contact or smells come to life for the viewer, they would have. It’s got a little bit of everything: action, adventure, romance, musical, drama, suspense, and even makes attempts at mystery. It’s all wrapped up in silly package that will have you laughing hard enough to get a dose of walleye vision.

If slapstick is your bag, baby, then Top Secret! will take you on a joyride of goofy adventure, while testing your powers of observation. Watch it once, and laugh. Watch it twice and see more jokes. Watch it a hundred times, and realize that there’s barely a moment in it that doesn’t have some kind of joke present. It’s a veritable Where’s Waldo of comic elation.

The plot is just as outrageous as the individual elements in the movie itself. An American Rock n’ Roll singer, Nick Rivers (Val Kilmer), with outlandish Beach Boys vibes, is invited to a cultural festival in East Germany. While there, he is drawn into the French Resistance, when he rescues a damsel in distress, Hillary Flammond (Lucy Gutteridge), and ultimately aids in thwarting a nefarious East German plot to destroy the Allied Fleet. Along the way, he performs his songs, paints, and faces an East German firing squad.

Visit the Swedish Bookstore, where everything goes in reverse, even the shopkeeper (Peter Cushing). Have a crush on Agent Cedric (Omar Sharif), as he engages in a folly of cloak and dagger style back alley dealings. Issue, find him and kill him, orders with General Streck (Jeremy Kemp). Tunnel out of Flergendorf Prison with Dr. Paul Flemmond (Michael Gough). Whether you’re getting fitted for a dinner jacket, or having a western saloon fight at the bottom of a river, you’re sure to laugh at the multitude of gags coming at you at ludicrous speed.

You’re probably thinking, “He’s giving away all the gags!” Worry not, and tighten down your chin strap, because you’re about to go on a wild bull ride of hijinx. Grab a bucket of popcorn, put down your phone, and assume crash positions, because this is slapstick. This is something movies need more of in this time of stress. Laughing at silliness is something I don't think we do enough of these days. Please don’t keep it Top Secret! Spread the love for this underground classic.