Aquarius Sun, Scorpio Moon, Gemini Rising

Now, I like astrology, but I'm not going to pretend I understand the intricacies of the human personality by star signs. I justify this elaboration as convenience, and fun, to compartmentalize myself into human clichés and archetypes that have been creeping about since Babylon.

I'm majorly water, and air, like mist, fog.

Totally devoid of all things Taurus, Leo, and Cancer. Transient. Non-committal. I feel like a ghost, you can reach out and grab me and I'll slip through. My mercury in Capricorn is like the earthly fog machine that projects onto you ethereals.

Before I was on antipsychotics my thoughts were a myriad of other people's voices screaming at me, imposing their opinion. I've always known my own inner voice, but we had a silent understanding. I have a masturbatory, auto-sexual relationship with myself. I think this is because I only feel other's impressions as information. I still have relationships, and I am quick to say 'I love you,' though I am not counting on my partner to feel real, because they can't enter my mind and know my silent understanding which contrasts with the caricatures of voices. I am detached, but I act very kindly, and am overly affectionate.

My partners can't usually stomach my artistic expression because it is everything, I keep away from them interpersonally. I am aggravating like a feminist and chauvinist operating in the same space. These aren't opposites, of which in astrology are known to fall in love, but a hard, debilitating sqaure.

Furthermore, my Venus in Aries is like gagging around a chihuahua on a chain with a never resting boner. My mars in Aquarius is like a minefield renovated into a dog park. I feel like I already died, I am that ahead.

When I was younger, this feeling made me graffiti public spaces, become an omni-addict, and experiment with sex work.

A bit older now, and I prefer to liberate and alleviate with self-inflicted confinement. Controlling a scheduled routine while making dates for adventure.

I am like a box filled with smoke. An apartment unit in a 100-year-old building. The collaboration of Aquarius and Scorpio as my two main heads causes me to re-wallpaper and find the lacking fengshui. There is a process in which water and air create life. The discourse of drive and action. I wake up at four A.M, create, and at the end of the day seem to abandon that matter which I have made. The only thing that is real to me is soft, informational bliss.

Is my Astrology real to me? It's hard not to believe in something so malleable. If anything it's a useful creative tool. It helps people come together, and it fills people with informational connectivity. At the end of the day these star signs are different feelings, giant, spanning feelings that can be compartmentalized and fused like chemistry. It makes me feel less like a ghost to think that other people recognize the feeling of Scorpio or Taurus or what have you. The old philosophical question, when I look at blue, and you look at blue, do we both see the same color or are we calling two different perceptions the same name? Applies here. However, because we are both-the two preceptors, operating in a framework that taught us that blue is blue, it seems the only thing 'true' and 'real' with regards to this property dualism, is the framework's path that leads to our like-minded knowledge, however internally different this knowledge may be. Therefore, I believe in the framework of astrology, how it leads so many people to use it, and the system and terminology that leads us to use the same names and same charts, however different the signs might actually feel internally to the user.