You know what? Do men have more sexual partners or women have more sexual partners

According to a study by the US government, the average number of sexual partners for men is seven, while for women it is four. A study by British scholars claims that men have an average of 12.7 female sexual partners in their lifetime, while women have 6.5 male sexual partners. Meanwhile, a Durex survey reveals that men in Hong Kong average 14.2 female partners, while women average just 4.1 male partners. In mainland China, men average 3.5 female partners, while women average 2.3 male partners. It seems that men everywhere have a reputation for being fickle and promiscuous. But wait a minute—doesn’t something seem off here? Sexual partnerships should be one-to-one. Since the male and female populations in every country are roughly equal, the following equation should hold true:

The male population × the average number of sexual partners per man = the female population × the average number of sexual partners per woman = the total number of sexual partnerships in the population.

In other words, the average number of sexual partners for men and women should be fairly close. At the very least, the two figures shouldn’t differ significantly. If they do, there must be some issue with the data collection process. By the way, the above figures refer only to heterosexual partners. Same-sex partners are not considered in this discussion.

In various surveys, the average number of sexual partners reported by men is always dozens of percentage points higher, or even several times higher, than that reported by women. Mathematicians, statisticians, economists, and sociologists have all offered their explanations for this puzzling phenomenon, but none have been widely accepted.

Explanation 1: Are both men and women lying?

Intuitively, one possibility is that men tend to exaggerate the number of their sexual partners in surveys, while women, out of shyness, underreport theirs. This explanation seems plausible but lacks substantial evidence.

Numerous psychologists have conducted experiments where one group of participants fills out questionnaires under normal conditions, while another group is hooked up to fake polygraphs and told to “tell the truth.” Comparing the results of the two groups, the differences are often negligible. Only a small number of people lie in surveys, and it’s not always the case that men overstate and women understate. Some shy men initially report a lower number of sexual partners but increase their numbers when given a “second chance” after being told a polygraph will be used. Conversely, some women exaggerate their number of sexual partners.

Explanation 2: Are prostitutes to blame?

A 2000 report in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) pointed the finger at prostitutes as the primary culprits for skewed data. Sociologist D. Brewer from the University of Washington argued that most surveys are conducted in general communities and rarely reach areas frequented by prostitutes. The proportion of prostitutes among respondents is much lower than their actual proportion in the population. Even a slight underrepresentation of prostitutes can significantly lower the average number of sexual partners for women, as each prostitute typically has far more sexual partners than the average woman.

However, not all researchers agree that prostitutes should bear full responsibility for the data discrepancy.

In a 1997 paper published in The Journal of Sex Research, researchers investigated the impact of prostitutes on survey results by including a question asking, “Have you ever engaged in paid sexual activity?” When analyzing the data, they first included and then excluded the responses of those who answered “yes.” The ratio of the average number of sexual partners for men to women was 2.96:1 with the inclusion of prostitutes and 2.38:1 without. This indicates that while prostitutes do influence survey outcomes, they cannot account for the entire discrepancy.

A British psychologist analyzed records from the London Police Department’s crackdown on red-light districts and survey data on prostitutes to estimate their numbers. He found that if prostitutes were solely responsible for the skewed data, each full-time prostitute would need to have an unrealistic number of clients—3,500 if one in 500 women is a prostitute, or 7,000 if one in 1,000 women is a prostitute. In reality, most prostitutes work part-time or for only a few years and have nowhere near that many clients. Even full-time prostitutes who work diligently for a decade have a limited number of clients. Surveys on the number of clients also suggest that there aren’t enough clients to meet such high demands. Thus, it’s clear that prostitutes cannot account for the entire discrepancy in reported sexual partner numbers.

Explanation 3: Forgetful older men

Mathematician M. Morris from Cambridge University attributes the data discrepancy not to respectable women or promiscuous women, nor to respectable men, but to promiscuous older men.

In the distribution curves of sexual partner numbers for men and women from some survey results, Morris noticed that the curves for men and women are similar, except for an additional segment in the top 10% of the male curve.

Morris posits that these older male respondents, who report having over 20 sexual partners, may overestimate their lifetime partner count due to the passage of time and the large number of partners. When filling out surveys, they might round up to numbers like 50 or 100, often rounding up rather than down. This inflates the average number of partners for men. If data from individuals with fewer than 20 partners are considered, the averages for men and women can be roughly balanced.

However, Morris’s explanation may only apply to the specific survey he analyzed. Whether it holds true for other surveys remains uncertain.

A Variety of Other Explanations

Some suggest that the following factors may also contribute to the discrepancy in reported sexual partner numbers between men and women:

- **Lolicon uncles**: Since most surveys target individuals aged 18 and above, men who engage in sexual relationships with minors may artificially inflate the average number of sexual partners reported by men.

- **Different definitions of sexual partners**: In surveys, men may count all types of sexual encounters as sexual partners, including oral and anal sex, while women often only consider vaginal sex as a valid criterion for a sexual partner.

- **Sexual fantasies**: Men are more prone to sexual fantasies than women. The additional sexual partners reported by men might stem from imagined encounters rather than real-life experiences.

- **Seeking foreign partners**: Men from developed countries or regions may travel to neighboring underdeveloped nations to find sexual partners. This can lead to an overestimation of the average number of sexual partners for men within a single country.

It appears that the academic world is also divided on this perplexing issue, with no consensus in sight. What are your thoughts on this “mysterious phenomenon” of inconsistent average sexual partner numbers between men and women?