#SexHairDon'tCare

You're like me, you actually LIKE having sex with your husband. Yeah? The passion is still there, the fire is there, you love each other, you're happily married, etc. Except, maybe sex has become a smidgen.. shall we say, boring? Mundane? Just the same, time after time? Every time it's the same thing. The same position, the same process. You need something new; you need some way to spice up your sex life. You both feel it, hell, maybe you have even talked about it, but HOW? What do you do to practically get things more exciting in the bedroom?

If you're asking these questions, you're in the right place! I am going to share some fantastic tips and ideas to help you get into a new and exciting sex life with your husband! Spicing things up is always on my mind, despite the fact that we are the mundane sort of people... but that’s okay with us! Here are the ideas on how to change things up a bit. Some of these you will need his help to accomplish, and some of these you can surprise him with! Either way, whatever you choose off this list is sure to heat things up in the bedroom!

Communicate!!!: Girl, you know this is THE single most important thing in the bedroom! Communication is the key to a happy and healthy sex life! It's also the key to changing things up! If you want to try something different, you have to clue him in, otherwise he isn't gonna be tracking with you. I mean, unless you're surprising him with one of the things below (then you can keep it a secret until the big reveal), communication with him is the most important!

Okay, this one is easy. Try a different position! Or, even go so far as to get a Kamasutra book; but keep in mind, the Kamasutra is not just about sex positions. It is a whole technique! Heck, if you want to try it, do it, but to start out, just try out a different position. There are books out there that have different positions. Just be careful as to not purchase a satire book like I did. Ugh, lol. I wish it would have been labled. If you have sex in the missionary position every time, try doggy style; or even, have him just raise your legs to his shoulders! This one is fun. I am telling you, a different position can make all the difference in the world!

New Lube/Oil: Do you use a lube? Or better yet an oil? Oh man, I am telling you.. The oils are the way to go! The oils are not sticky. If you find a good one you can use it for a fun massaging time and for lube. If it's edible, even better! Drizzle that oil all over yourself! Drizzle it on your whole body and let him rub it in; and drizzle it all over him and do the same. Have fun with the oil! They also have warming lube, and cooling lube, nipple creams, and other things! Even just adding a single drop of peppermint oil to your regular oil can be fun! Just be cautious to not injure yourself!!! I would be sure to dilute it largely IF you choose to do this!!! (If your skin becomes irritated, add a large amount of a bland, unscented oil like coconut oil or olive oil to dilute the peppermint oil.)

Start somewhere else: Do you always shut the door, get naked, hop in bed, and start having sex? Stop it! No, I'm serious... Start somewhere else in the house. Start making out in the kitchen, or on the sofa like a couple of high school kids! Then passionately move to the bedroom, stripping off clothing as you go! Obviously, this one only works if you either don't have kids or they're away at grandma's house... "Ohhh, Grandma!"

Consider Oral: Ladies! I hear all the time, "I can't, I won't!" I 100% get it! I also hear, "I hate it when he goes down on me!" This confuses the heck out of me...WHYYYYY???? Men LOVE our scent! They love our taste, they were programmed this way. They were made this way, like, seriously. If you are nervous about him going down on you. Why? If you are afraid of a smell, then do this: douche with a medicated douche. The reason for the medicated one is that the regular ones can give you a yeast infection (From what I have been told). Then once you have done that, you can use a wash that is gentle or designed for women to wash the outside. Wash your labia and any folds of skin, in-between, but make sure not to get it inside of you. Then rinse well! Do this shortly before, then have him go down on you. You will feel much more comfortable, and he will still love it just as much! In regards to going down on him, if you can't, you can't... and you don't have to! There are things you can do to make it better if you want to try it, or want to give him that pleasure. Flavored condoms, that helps with the pre-cum. Flavored lube helps with the general state of their.. ahem.. "situation" down there (Read: Ball Sweat).

Buy some Lingerie: Oooh, I love me a new piece of lingerie! I feel so sexy and beautiful! "But I don't look good in lingerie, I'm too fat!" Girl! I am a size 2XL!!! You can wear it, you just have to find the right one for your body type! So for me, I Have the "apple" shaped body (hate that term, btw). I always get the babydoll dress style of lingerie. It draws attention to, and accentuates my boobs and "flat-as-the-great-plains" ass, while somewhat hiding my round little belly that I have been trying to get rid of, for my whole damn life, lol. Just find the right type for your body... you will look sexy as hell and he will be proud AF, like 'Damn! That's my wife!'

Toys: Feel the vibrations! Yes, please!! Get some toys... Cock rings, vibrators, butt plugs (if you're into that). Seriously, the possibilities are endless! The store 'Adam and Eve' is a great place to go to get toys. They are clean, they are discreet, and they are informative! They will help you pick something out! If you are not into going into a store, try an online store, or find a pure romance person, that way it can be shipped to you, but you don't get the in person information that way. Either way, toys can bring your relationship to a whole new level of fun!!

Get a hotel for the weekend: Leave! Get away for the weekend. Go, even if it is to the same town you live in, or the next town over! I am not even kidding, you guys. Just get out of your house. Drop the kids at Grandma's once again and go! Take your toys, your lube, your lingerie, some wine, crackers, cheese, and barricade yourselves in that room for the weekend! Order out and make your husband put on pants to get the food while you lay naked in the bed! Literally a naked rule! No clothes for 48 hours! Ladies, this is such a great way to reconnect with your husband.

Try Tantric Sex: "What the fuck is tantric?" Or, maybe you have heard of it before, or maybe you're a pro! This section is for the first group. Tantric is a technique of sex that is almost more spiritual than it is physical. Sometimes also called Tantric Massage. There is Tantric for both the male and female. I don't want to give too much away, because you want to go do some research. However, I will say that it is incredibly amazing and that it is highly worth doing! Tantric is a fantastic way to add a little heat to the bedroom! If you are normally submissive, lay your husband flat out, wearing your lingerie, use that new massage oil and rub him down via the tantric method! He will LOVE that!! (I know, cause I have done it ;) )

Pierce Something: Don't skip this one!! Lol.. Ok, we are talking Nips and Clit here. Nips take about 18 months to heal, but take it from me... Guys think it's sexy as hell! They can't touch or play with them for about 2-3 weeks, but after that.. it's free game! Just keep them clean. They usually ooze for a while. That's normal. The clit.. This one, if you have a high sex drive, and an easy orgasm, you may want to avoid this one! This one can cause..ahem.. pleasure.. lol.. through the day by the rubbing and the location. Just the pressure of where it's at could cause you the big O. So, I mean, if you're into that in the grocery store or driving down the road, go for it! If you have a hard time getting there, or getting turned on.. I would say doooo iiiiiiit! But, that's just me. Do what you want. It would be a smidgen scary having someone down there with a needle. It is, however, a tiny piece of skin and heals in 2-3 weeks. Short healing time. Easy peasy..

Sexting: What man doesn't love a dirty pic of his wife!? Mine does! :) Seriously, while he's at work.. Send him dirty pics. Take those butt pics, those boob pics, and send them to him through the day! He will be drooling to see you in the evening when he gets home, or when you both do, if you work outside the home as well. Make it a goal to send him such a juicy, dirty pic that he gets a hard on at work! Thats a fun challenge, right?

Flirt!: Flirt, Omg! Flirt! Seriously, We stop trying after we get them. They stop trying after they get us. It's not an "on purpose" thing, but we do. It's not a "bad" thing, but it is! We need to put forth effort to flirt with our husbands! Make sure they know we want them. They get excited when we show them that we want them. They want us to want them. Men get excited by that! If I tell my husband that I am turned on and I want him so bad, that is the sexiest thing of all to him. He wants me even more then. He is thinking about it all day. If he feels wanted and needed, he feels more excited about having sex. This is seriously the best thing for them!

Now come the excuses! Am I right??? We have jobs, we have to clean house, we have kids (maybe), we have a social life, then at the end of the day when we can’t possibly think of giving any more of ourselves, there he is, waiting. Or maybe he is just as tired and you both just crash. It's easy to just "do it tomorrow" right?! Ugh, how many times do we end up here?

Marriage is a commitment. My husband and I have had this conversation several times. I have brought up that despite how I feel with all of my 7 chronic illnesses, there are days that we just need to commit to having sex. Because our marriage is important to me, and sex is an important part of marriage. I'm not saying it's the only part, nor am I saying that I should always ignore my body, but if I always forego, we would be in a celibate marriage...honestly, who wants that?!

Now, one more thing to address... if you are here, and you DON'T want to be having sex with your husband for either a reason of physical or emotional pain.. or, if he is dealing with E.D., Please seek out professional help! No amount of "spicing it up" is going to help you there. Some issues need to be addressed at the root of the problem. There are fixes for these. Seeing a therapist for emotional disturbances, such as past traumas, is important. It can really impact your sexual relationship with your husband (believe me, I know). If you are having pain, the doctor can help! If he is having E.D. there's help for that too! There are medications and things that can be done! Hell, see a sex therapist if you have to; they can be VERY helpful if you need to! Girl, your sex life isn't hopeless!! I promise, you can resurrect it!

It takes time to get to a fulfilling sex life. I am sure that if you have been married a month, a year, ten years, or fifty years, these ideas are sure to help you get things going again! It just takes a little planning and effort! Then again, marriage is effort right!? We knew that when we said our vows.

Now Go Get Him! ;)