Porn Again, A Novel-Part Sixteen

CONTINUED FROM PART FIFTEEN...

Happy spent the following days either burying himself in work to get over the pain of Candy or his nights out on the town with Delphine. With Lucky and Kitty back in Los Angeles, the duo spent much time together. Whether it was classic films over bottles of wine or dinner and drinks at Vincent’s, the blossoming friendship was the only thing that still made him feel whole.

Still, in those moments when the challenges and headaches of the store weren’t upon him and Delphine wasn’t around, he began to find himself tumbling down the rabbit hole of a different kind. Late nights were soon being spent on the computer, visiting cybersex chat rooms and nurturing his growing addiction to porn. In all his time running the store, he never understood why so many men and women would spend $30-$40 on adult DVDs when they could just get the stuff for free online. It was amazing how many websites, categories, and fetishes were out there to satiate even the most deviant of people. The human population was truly becoming a disgusting place filled with both men and women who while on the outside seemed like decent people, on the inside, they were rather revolting.

“Yeah that’s right bitch, suck my fucking cock! Gag on it, you fucking whore…”

Happy watched endless hours of men fucking women in nearly every way imaginable, calling them derogatory names and actually slapping, choking and even spitting on them. One would think that this was something that only happened in porn, but judging from the clientele that frequented the store, he was now becoming privy to a very frightening fact. Something had changed in the sexual dynamics of America. While the stereotype had always been that men were vulgar with women being more refined in the art of pleasure, things were not as they seemed. Considering some of the titles that he’d witnessed women purchasing in the store, he grew to realize that not every woman was into erotica and romance. Some got off on some of the most depraved and hardcore acts men had ever been inspired to depict on film. What the hell was happening in America when the nice lady down the street, the librarian, bartender, or your Sunday school teacher secretly got off on being spit on, pissed on, or having a cucumber shoved up her ass? Still, for all the women and men who secretly desired such depravity…

“I wish a son-of-a-bitch would try to spit or piss on me in the bedroom,” Starscream replied. “Try it and I have fifteen bullets that all say I’ll be the last woman you ever did it to…”

That’s the thing that no one understood about working in a sex store. At first, being exposed to a brave new world of porn and sex toys could not only be interesting but also exciting. New employees are excited to go home and tell their partners about new items they want to try, and it can help to add a little spice to the relationship. Then of course there’s the plethora of jokes about what customers come in asking for or even when they attempt to return items. It’s all fun and games in the beginning. After that honeymoon period is over, however…

“I bet you’ve tried just about every vibrator in here, haven’t you?” the man asked.

“Oh yeah, let me tell you,” she replied. Not like Starscream hadn’t heard that one before.

The customer was a ragged, disheveled, and crusty-looking gutter punk with a dusty mohawk and bad teeth.

“So what’s your favorite movie? Gag Factor 12?”

“I like The Great Dictator.”

“Nice!” he exclaimed. “So you’re into large cocks huh? Where’s that DVD?”

She gave him a perturbed look. “The Great Dictator is an old Charlie Chaplin film, jackass. Now get the fuck out of here before I call security.”

See what I mean?

***

8 AM rush hour at Starbucks…if you thought rush hour traffic on the interstate was bad, that was absolutely nothing compared to the hordes of pretentious douchebags lining up for caffeine. The meager dark shades struggling to keep the red eyes hidden from the general public, Happy anxiously stood in line along with the high-end, bourgeois employees of the mall a few blocks away from the store. Every day it was the same routine of listening to older men and women stand in line, gossiping about co-workers, husbands, wives, and exes. It was all becoming a very annoying routine; mindless psychobabble mixed with lame elevator music in tune with the whir of steam wands, espresso grinders, and Frappuccino blenders. If ever there were such a place that bred more anxiety, stress, and murderous rage than a fucking Starbucks at 8 AM, he’d love to see it. Cashiers and baristas called out a monotonous plethora of iced ventis, double talls, and frozen mocha ‘who-gave-a-fucks’ with the dry precision of surgeons in the ER. He could feel that rhythmic tapping of his fingers against the crease of his pants-more nervous tension from the night before. His calloused hands, rough from yet another night of jerking off to Internet porn was wearing him thin. Happy hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in days, and with Delphine becoming a constant fixture in his dreams, the sexual tension was stifling. Here was a completely sexually free woman who was both strikingly beautiful and captivating, and yet he’d never made a single move. Maybe somewhere deep in the back of his mind, he felt as though it would be cheating. Considering what he’d been through, that wouldn’t have necessarily been a bad thing. Still, old habits of love and matrimony die the hardest.

“Sir I’m sorry, but unfortunately we’re out of soy milk.”

The words almost didn’t register. Maybe it was the shrill tone of her voice or the fact that he hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep. Maybe it was the pent-up aggression still lingering over Candy. Maybe it was the fact that his frequent late-night sessions of jerking off left him angry and bitter rather than fulfilled. No soy milk??? This shallow, inconsiderate cocksucker didn’t know whom she was fucking with.

“What the fuck do you mean you ran out of soy milk???”

About five minutes and multiple derogatory comments later, after mall security had escorted him out of the café, Happy relented to two Red Bulls on his way to work. It wasn’t much, but he needed some sort of fix fast.

“Working on your day off Hap?” Barabbas asked.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

The kid handed him a copy of the schedule from the register. “You don’t remember rearranging the schedule? You’re off today Hap. You made some changes to account for Blake being out. Are you okay boss? To tell the truth, you don’t look so good.”

Happy looked around the store, and then did a double-take at himself. His suit, ragged and worn looked as if it had come from under a mattress. His eyes were nearly bloodshot and he was in serious need of a shave. That early morning man musk wasn’t doing him any favors either. Barabbas leaned in closer.

“Hap…have you been drinking?”

He flashed the kid a look of indignation. “Don’t worry. You won’t catch me passed out in the restroom. Came to pick up a few things.”

And with that quick lie, he made his way up to the second floor, all under the watchful eye of Barabbas. Still unsure of how he’d forgotten that he wasn’t working, the last few days had been a blur. Studying the second floor, and completely unsure of what he was doing, Happy walked along the toy wall, eyeing customers and checking out merchandise until he came across a rather interesting item that caught his eye.

The Fleshlight was a popular item that the store had just received a few weeks prior. A sex toy commonly referred to as a ‘stroker’ for men, the Fleshlight got its name largely because at first glance, it looked like an unusually large flashlight. Yet if one were to pop the cap on it, what lay inside was a fleshy soft, and textured mold of a woman’s vagina. First, there were blow-up dolls, now they were making actual replicas of women’s most private areas…and selling them by the dozens. Whatever happened to the days of going out to a bar or café and just talking to a real woman?

The Fleshlight changed all that. With multiple styles to choose from, whether it was the standard ass or vagina mold, a customer could not only get one that vibrated but also pick out one molded after his favorite porn star. For a split second, Happy thought about Kitty…and sure enough, there she was. Decked out in full stripper regalia on the cover of a tall, black can was ‘Kitty Valentine’, standing next to an alleged replica of her vagina. Happy wasn’t sure why the thought crossed his mind, nor did he care. Ten minutes later, he was back at the cash register with Barabbas ringing him up.

“Big plans for the night I see. Will you be needing condoms with that sir?”

“Fuck you smartass,” he quipped. And with the refined swagger of an English gentleman, Happy sauntered out of the store, but not before nearly tripping over himself near the entrance. Hangovers were a bitch…

***

“I’m not fighting for anything anymore except myself. I’m the only cause I’m interested in fighting in…”

“That’s for damn certain Rick,” Happy mumbled to himself in the bleak confines of the living room.

With the drapes drawn and nothing but the television staring back at him, he wallowed in an abyss of Fireball shots and empty cans of PBR. His half-naked figure sprawled out on the couch, he understood the feeling perfectly.

“Casablanca again?” a delicate voice called to him. “You always were a sucker for the classics.”

Peering through the thick envelope of cigarette smoke and boredom, he suddenly found a face he didn’t quite expect to see. Seated near the kitchen in a very form-fitting black dress was Candace, smiling at him. She looked perfect in every way like she’d walked straight out of a movie. Even the lights in the condo seemed to envelop her.

“Maybe some of us prefer things the way they used to be,” he replied. “You know, back before everything got so complicated.”

She smiled. “Can’t live in the past forever Hap. At some point, you have to let go.”

“Like you did, you bitch? You certainly didn’t waste any time ‘letting go’, fucking some other man in our house…in our bed Candace!”

“Yes I know; I’m a horrible person Hap. Now what? Should I burn in Hell for my betrayal? Will that satisfy your anger, or is this about something else?”

He took another drag from the cigarette. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“All that anger inside you,” she continued. “What bothers you the most my love? Is it what you saw…or the growing realization that deep inside, you still want me?”

In a flash, he threw a beer can directly at her. Nothing. The can never connected; only flying directly through her…as if she were made of smoke.

“Come on Hap, you know I’m not really here. “You’re drunk, and hallucinating.”

“What?”

“You see me how you want to see me, as I was on our very first date. You’ve practically deified me in your own subconscious Hap, and now you hate me because I couldn’t live up to this fantasy you’ve carried in your head for so long.”

“I loved you, you piece of shit.”

“I know Hap, but that was always a part of the problem. It wasn’t that you were a bad husband. You just grew to become more occupied with someone else…yourself and your work. You only saw me as your wife, an extension of yourself. You never really saw me as a woman with desires and urges much like yourself. Like it or not, this is just as much your fault as it is mine.”

“Don’t flatter yourself bitch. I can get along fine without you.”

“Ah really? Is that why you went out and bought a Fleshlight molded after me?”

“It’s not molded after you, you cunt! It’s molded after Kitty!”

“Really Hap? Take another look.”

Amidst the growing anger now building along with an erection he didn’t see coming, Happy looked down at the canister on the couch next to him. Sure enough, the glowing picture of Kitty was now replaced by one of Candy. It didn’t make sense. Was he going crazy, or was it another dream?

“What is it you want most Happy? Do you want revenge…or do you want to fuck me?”

Beads of sweat dripped down his face. His erection growing from pure hatred more than lust, he began to grow dizzy.

“I don’t need you bitch.” Dread and despair bled from his lips like acid. “You’re a fucking whore. Piece of shit, low-class, trailer park, podunk motherfucking cunt.”

“Have another shot of Fireball my love. It’ll make you feel better.”

“FUCK YOU!!!”

Candy pulled up her dress and spread her legs, teasing him. “If you had, maybe we wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in now.”

Overwhelmed with the thunderstorm of emotions welling up inside him, Happy threw the bottle of whiskey straight toward her. Nothing. The bottle flew straight through her, crashing against the wall.

“All that anger, all that rage, all that pent-up fury,” she whispered as she began to pull her panties to the side. I don’t think you’ve ever made me this wet Happy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen your cock this hard. Pulsating. Throbbing. Veins so tight and thick they look as though they’re about to burst. Tell me Hap, do you want revenge…or do you just want to fuck me?”

At that moment, thunder ripped through the sky just outside the window with a force that nearly shattered it. The growing sound of rain beating against the windows did little to awaken him. He grew even further disturbed by the ominous presence of a priest suddenly in the room. Standing near the window, eyes locked on Happy, the priest said nothing. He just stood there, swinging a ball of incense and beginning to mumble something in Latin.

“Poor little choirboy Harper,” she joked. “Maybe if you spent more time making your wife happy or better yet yourself…you wouldn’t be in this predicament now.”

The priest continued in his dazed incantation, incense perfuming the room with the aroma of guilt and repression. Happy for whatever reason, found himself succumbing to his knees and grabbing the Fleshlight.

“Why don’t you fuck me Hap?” she teased. “It’ll make you feel better. Come on my love, just let it go and be happy. Let it go…all over my face,” she laughed.

Compelled by something far beyond his understanding, he quickly placed the toy over his erect cock, stroking wildly and cursing, “Fuck you bitch,” over and over again. The rush was electric; hard, throbbing flesh pumping in and out of material that was lukewarm, we,t and damn near lifelike. Rage mixed with an unsettling lust, the weirdness of the moment did very little to stop him. Caught somewhere between reality and insanity, he continued to stroke harder and harder. Candy stared at him, laughing and rubbing her clit while the priest continued his chanting.

“FUCK YOU BITCH!” he screamed louder.

Thunder ensued, nearly rattling the foundation of the building to its very core. Dust and partial debris from the ceiling slowly started to rain down on Happy and he continued stroking himself further into a manic frenzy, in synch with Candy rubbing her clit.

“Just let go and fuck me Happy.”

“FUCK YOU, YOU CHEATING BITCH!”

“Or is it that whore Delphine? Is she the one you want to fuck? She could never suck your cock and get you off better than I can.”

“You don’t know anything about her.”

“I know you want to fuck her,” Candy continued. “But you can’t…you won’t because the guilt is still too much for you. Don’t you dare cheat on me, you son-of-a-bitch. I’m still your wife!”

He glanced over at the priest. Still swinging the orb of incense, the man stared down the length of his nose toward him. The look of judgment and condemnation he shot him was nearly identical to that of his father.

“Fuck me Happy,” Candy continued. “It’ll make you feel better.”

The thunder increased, reaching a fever pitch.

“I don’t need you anymore.” Tears began to fall down the man’s face.

“Why don’t you just fuck me Happy?”

***

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART SEVENTEEN...