Porn Again, A Novel-Part Seventeen

CONTINUED FROM PART SIXTEEN...

Fuck me. Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe I spoke too soon. Maybe this is all just some crazy dream brought on by guilt over my cheating on my husband. Can’t be right at all. One more time just to be sure. Just check the strip.

Positive. Like a gavel swinging down with tremendous force and bringing with it a thunderous wave of emotions, the pregnancy test read positive. Candy stared at her shaken visage in the bathroom mirror. For the first time, the woman who stared back wasn’t the fiery scandalous temptress she’d suddenly grown to accept and admire. Neither was it the dutiful faithful wife who worked in an art gallery. For the first time in a very long time, what stared at her was a woman filled with fear, uncertainty, guilt, and paranoia. Was it all worth it? What had I done to my marriage? Was Happy really that bad? Was the dick worth all the trouble? Speaking of dicks, it had been quite some time since she’d heard from Marcus.

Regardless of how close he and Rob were, regardless of the new ‘situation’ between him and Stacy, this was more than serious and she needed answers. Why hadn’t he told her about Stacy in the first place? Hell, why hadn’t Stacy mentioned anything earlier? They were close girlfriends and had been for years. Did Candy have a right to be mad even though they both were guilty of cheating on their husbands? Well technically in Stacy’s case, it wasn’t cheating since Rob had been all too eager to give his full consent. What the hell was wrong with him anyway? And as for Marcus, was that son-of-a-bitch so smug and arrogant that he had to have his cake and eat it all over South fucking Florida?

Torn between anger and guilt, she took a moment to study her figure in the mirror. Dressed in only a tank top and yoga pants, she carefully studied the surface of her face. Checking virtually every single pore and searching for lines, it was almost as if she felt herself aging already. And as any educated, self-respecting human being who upright could attest to, women don’t age…they mature. As a fine wine plucked from the finest of vineyards in either Paris or Rome, there was no such thing as growing old for a woman. Men on the other hand…fuck ‘em. Who cares about some poor bastard retaining a gut and gaining a few grey hairs along with losing a bit of lead in the proverbial ‘pencil’? Men aging quicker and dying earlier than women was damn near the only break women got. Candy continued to study herself, all the way down to examining her hips and stomach. Normally so tight and attractive with the perfect belly button, it now felt bloated and pudgy…at least in her mind. I cheated on my husband and now I’m pregnant with another man’s child. I even double-checked the strip just to make sure. Positive. Dear God. Fuck me.

“Don’t worry love, we’ll make it work. Just stay positive.”

The tremors from that familiar and seductive voice nearly vibrated through the walls as a pair of extremely masculine and ebony hands caressed her ivory skin from behind, resting them on her stomach. The touch was tender and reassuring…but also scary and unexpected. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she was shocked to see Marcus standing right behind her. Baring a perfect set of white teeth, he flashed a smile with a gleam in his eyes that suggested he knew something she didn’t. Could that truly be the case? She had so many questions, but nothing made any sense. How could he be here now? Was she dreaming? Did she drink anything and just didn’t remember? That would have made absolutely no sense at all, along with being completely irresponsible. How the hell did he get here? And what was he doing completely naked? Wait…Marcus is naked, and standing right behind me? She took a moment to take in the sight of chocolate-chiseled features and quite possibly the most beautifully crafted morning erection the good Lord ever created on a man. Long. Thick. Veiny. Ferocious and primal. Fuck…I’ve got problems but it ain’t that bad. Marcus spun her around back to the mirror where she watched ripped acres of Black flesh envelop her.

“Morning love. Sorry if I woke you early with my snoring. Last night was pretty intense. I think we tore into each other a bit too much.”

He was here last night? Here in bed with me? Wait…this doesn’t make sense. Why can’t I remember? Did he slip me something?

“What exactly happened last night between us? I mean…I know what happened. Just…what else happened? I’m having a hard time remembering and this is kind of weird.”

“You don’t remember love? The three of us went out for dinner and some dancing last night. You looked extremely ravishing on the dance floor. Damn girl, you have some moves. Couldn’t wait to eat you up.”

“Wait, we went out for dinner and dancing last night? The three of us?”

Marcus inched closer, allowing her to feel the warmth of his breath on her as he placed gentle kisses from her neck to her shoulder.

“Of course my love. You and I and Stacy went out on the town. Rob had to work at the club and he was more than appreciative when I agreed to take you girls out for a night of fun. Maybe in the end we had a little too much fun, but you get the idea. Fuck, you are so sexy. A man like Harper doesn’t deserve you. He will never get you like I do. He will never see you as I see you. He certainly will never fuck you like I do.”

Soft, sensual kisses quickly turned to intense bites and more kisses along her earlobe and neck. Marcus lifted her shirt, his forceful hands encircling her belly button and traveling the surface of her skin to a pair of full, welcoming breasts. The touch, that familiar touch coupled with the weight of his erection throbbing against her pants was enough to cause delirium.

“You know, when Stacy mentioned the idea of a threesome, I never thought you’d go for it. Not my girl, not my little angel. Who knew that you’d be so adventurous? I was quite impressed with you last night. I think we were a little too much for her. You surprised me. It was a welcomed surprise.”

“Really? You’ve forgotten exactly whom it is you’re dealing with.”

She reached around, feeling that familiar rush of smooth, muscular skin. Whether it was a confusing dream or not, it didn’t matter once she got her hands on the warm girth of Marcus’ cock. Damn.

“We need to talk. There’s something you need to know.”

His long fingers found their way inside her pants, pulling them down to reveal a skimpy thong underneath. No doubt already steaming and wet with anticipation, her reflection in the mirror said ‘no’, but the flesh doesn’t lie. It never does.

“Yes,” he whispered in her ear. “Talk to me, sweetheart. Tell me every little detail.”

Her hand pressed against the mirror, her breathing intensified as the first brush of his fingertips against her swollen clit sent a surge through her. Subtle, soft, and angelic at first, he took his time, enjoying himself…savoring the moment. To be that close to the warm flesh of a beautiful woman…this beautiful woman was a thrill in itself. He could feel the tremors deep within her as her body moved in sync with his rhythm. With just a bit more pressure each time he circled her nub, he finally slid his fingers deep inside, baptizing them in her wetness. She grabbed his wrist and clenched it tightly, urging him to stop.

“Marcus, this is serious. I’m pregnant.”

“I’m well aware of that my love. I’m not exactly stupid. We discussed this already.”

We did? When? Why is none of this making sense, and why can’t I remember? Marcus lifted his hand to his lips. Creamy and glistening with Candy’s juices, he stared at her in the mirror’s reflection and sucked his fingers.

“I knew you’d taste good. You always taste so good. I just can’t get enough of you. And don’t worry about the baby. Everything will work out, my love. I promise.”

“Marcus, I’m still a married woman and I’m pregnant with another man’s child…your child. Happy and I for whatever reason could never conceive and now I’m carrying your baby. This isn’t a joke.”

“I agree in total, my love. I realize things got a bit out of control fast between us, but maybe that’s for a good reason.”

Whispering in her ear, the words felt like the most beautiful kiss as he removed her top and caressed her breasts. This was both wrong and confusing, but damn it felt so right.

“I have to confess, I’ve fantasized about you from the very first moment I met you. I’ve had the pleasure of being with several women in my day, but I’ve never had a reaction to one quite like this.”

“Marcus you’re full of shit. You’re only saying this right now because you want to fuck me. You men are all the same; always out for what you want. You don’t give a shit about me. You couldn’t begin to imagine what I want.”

Words falling on near deaf ears, he continued to kiss her. His hands moved back down beneath her pants, the growing heat between her thighs betrayed both her words and logic.

“If you truly believe that, then why is there a life, my life growing inside you as we speak?”

The words sent a surge through her, forcing her to catch his gaze in the mirror. His eyes, dark and hollow chasms of intense fury and dangerous passion bored holes of longing straight through her.

“So much time you invested in a life, a marriage to a man who saw you only as an extension of himself. Women need to feel wanted…needed…desired. When was the last time Happy provided that for you?”

Pushing her pants further down her legs, his fingers nearly merged with her skin. This was wrong…dead wrong. Then again, being right never got her anywhere to begin with. Still…

“Marcus…we can’t do this.”

Her pants dropped down to her ankles as he made his way up her thighs, soft sweet kisses and nibbles along the way.

“Let go of your moral high ground sweetheart. That dress doesn’t fit you.”

“Excuse me?”

He continued to kiss her, hips lips making their way up her thighs to that perfectly toned ass that he loved so well. “You’ve spent years wasting away in marriage to a man who no longer pays you attention. He doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t cherish you. He doesn’t crave you and worse…he wasn’t even man enough to give you the one thing you desired the most.”

His words stung like a knife. Potent in their arrogance yet bristling with brutal truth, every single thing he uttered was virtually gospel. Candy stared back at herself in the mirror, intense passion, anger, and delirium encroaching on her mind and clouding her judgment once again. He was right. So much of her life had been invested, wasted in a marriage that was stifling and no longer gave her the nourishment she needed. Marcus was everything Happy wasn’t mentally, emotionally, and sexually he could never compete. Yet the guilt…the guilt would not yet remove its hold from heartstrings that now begged for the clarity of reason. She searched for something…anything beyond the surface of the mirror, some last refuge of faith to cling to.

“The Devil is out to destroy that which God has put into place.”

Pamela’s words echoed through her mind as Marcus eagerly pulled away her thong. The heat from her perfect peach was brutal…maddening.

“Can’t you see Candace? Your husband doesn’t love you anymore. He’s already given up on your marriage and even left town. Why are you now trying to cling to something that he doesn’t want?”

“What about the baby?”

“I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I told you once already…you’re mine now.”

And with those words, he flicked his tongue across the soft folds of her wetness and forced it straight into the tightness of her ass. She jumped from the sensation, slamming her hand against the mirror. Tremors marched from the base of her feet up her thighs as he dined on her tight little ass, his tongue feverishly working its way in and out. Spreading her legs further and further apart, he placed himself directly underneath her, tasting the sweetness of her pleasure and the bitterness of her contempt. Her face pressed against the cold surface of the mirror, Candy could see the heaviness of her breath fogging the glass. His strong hands cupped her cheeks as he flicked his tongue across her clit, her breathing grew more intense. Happy had never made her feel this way. She knew it was wrong, and only served to make a bad situation worse. Fuck it, if Happy cared at all he would’ve never left town. He could’ve at least accepted responsibility for his role in things.

I’m tired of being good. I’m tired of being patient. I’m tired of being unfulfilled.

“This isn’t for you bitch. This is for me.”

Even with a wave of sensations rushing through her, Candy knew she’d heard those words before. The only problem was that Marcus wasn’t the one who’d uttered them.

It was Happy…

Confusion turned to shock as she wiped away the cloudy fog of her breath from the mirror to see her fears confirmed. Stark naked and with an erection that bulged from hatred more than lust, he stood there. With a slick and nearly evil smile slithering across a face that burned brilliantly like a fiery sun, he dug his fingers into her hips and thrust deep into her. The base of her feet arched from the stinging sensation of him deep inside her ass, Happy forced himself further.

“You look nervous my love. You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.”

Words struggling with weathered determination to make their way to the surface, Candy’s delirium betrayed both her senses and will. Palpitations of the heart compounded with both dread and pleasure in the pit of her stomach, her breath produced more heavy clouds of fog against the mirror. Smiling back at her, Happy continued pounding the shit out of her-his balls smacking hard against her ass while grabbing a handful of hair.

“So you wanna get fucked huh? Is that what you want, you fucking whore? To think I spent years of my life, wasting my life on someone like you. I loved you, Candace. I loved you, you bitch!”

Her breathing grew ever more intense with her face pressed against the mirror, Happy forced himself inside even deeper while grabbing her by her neck. Dizzy from the sensation, Candy reached for strong masculine fingers around her throat that were now somehow the color of fresh chocolate. Strong. Sturdy. Powerful.

“Goddamn, it feels so good to be inside you, my love. I’ve wanted you for so long.”

The vibrations of that distinctively deep voice nearly frightened her.

It was Marcus…

Staring back at her through the mirror, the growing fear and confusion etched across her face did little to calm the energy raging through him.

“What’s the matter, my love? Don’t you want me? Are you having second thoughts about the baby?”

For the first time in a while, tears streamed down her face as Marcus held her close. Perspiration mixed with lust, confusion, and fear, she wondered when the rollercoaster ride would end. Am I dreaming? Am I drunk? Is any of this real? Am I going crazy? Not even the soft, beautiful rush of Marcus’ kisses down her back could do much to clear the fog of confusion. Only one thing was clear; she was guilty of betraying the man she’d married. She was guilty of betraying the trust they’d built between each other…however fragile it may have been. Regardless of what tactics she’d used to justify what she’d done, maybe for the first time she was realizing that she’d bitten off far more than she could chew.

“Don’t worry my love. We’ll make it work. I promise.”

Marcus’ words slowly became a faint whisper dancing somewhere in the far reaches of her mind, Candy looked back at herself in the mirror. Embarrassed by what she saw for the first time, the guilt burned like acid and melancholy in her stomach. It’s very true what they say. No matter how cleverly you sneak up on a mirror, your reflection always stares you right back in the face. No matter what skeletons or demons you try to hide…they always find their way back home someday.

“Do you Harper Downman, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

For a moment, the words almost didn’t register. No…it couldn’t be. She hadn’t heard those words in years. First confusion…then fear followed by acceptance. Candy forced herself to look back up at the mirror. What she saw was not clouds of foggy breath brought on by lust and delirium. What she saw was nonetheless a sight she hadn’t witnessed in ages… The church was quite a beautiful sight that day. Rays of immaculate sunlight poured through the windows as if Heaven itself were just outside the front entrance. Family and friends were all in attendance as the beautiful couple stood before the priest.

The priest spoke again. “Do you Harper Downman, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife.”

The young man standing before her was strikingly handsome and filled

with swagger, confidence, and passion. He carried the look of a man ready to take on the world and everything it had to offer. His smile was radiant, no doubt influenced by the beautiful sight standing before him in an elegant dress. Sweet oblivion. Pure, sweet, uncorrupted oblivion…that’s what she tasted like on their first night together, and he dined on her soul like a madman in the most beautiful prison in which there was no escape.

Candace Rhodes was her name…’Candy’, as he liked to call her, and man did she ever taste like the sweetest candy on Earth. Even now, somewhere deep in the decadent abyss that was the city of New Orleans, Candy could imagine her husband somehow still seeing her as he did for the very first time. She could feel his eyes burning with desire over the presence of her still in his mind standing there, with the brilliance of the morning sun enveloping her like something out of a classic film. Her voice, delicate yet filled with passion; sometimes he still couldn’t get enough of it. At least she still hoped there was some part of him that still saw her that way.

Drowning within a sea of pleasure and pain, I see my reflection magnified through your energy, sparking chakras into flame. I can't find my way through this maze, but to be lost in the nightmare is as sweet as Sunday morning, as tempting as the first bite, and as beautifully painful as a climax before death. Dancing circles in each other's existence, can I be with you? Or better yet can I be you? Can I exist within the surface of your flesh, sparking the blood to boil? Can I be the catalyst that sparks the mind or the water that cools the soul? Can I be the fire that burns through your memory? Can I be the whisper in your dreams? Can I be the nightmare you love to relive, injecting your planet with my memories and fears? Pain and passion intertwined with venom and virtue, till we wake up in the mirror…till we become the mirror, till we are the same reflection. So potent is the perception of becoming both your friend and enemy, the energy is so explosive. The fear is so potent, that it will consume us eventually until we become but ashes and passion, burning within the surface of the mirror. Can you see me? Can you be me? Can you feel my thoughts at your weakest point? Can you feel us destroying each other, only to relive the danger again...and again?

“You’re not really here, are you? This is all a game. This is all just some sort of sick game.”

Marcus knelt beneath her, continuing further with his teasing, kissing her thighs.

“Of course I’m not here my love, you know that. You wish I was though…and so do I.”

“Then what the fuck is this Marcus? Am I going crazy or what?”

The priest spoke a third time. “Do you Harper Downman take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“No my love,” Marcus replied. “You’re not going crazy…not at all. You’re finally starting to feel guilty about what’s happened. You still love Harper, and that love is causing you to feel guilt. You’re beginning to hate yourself just a bit because you betrayed your husband. That being said, I don’t think you should beat yourself up for this. Harper chose to neglect you as his wife. The man spent far more time obsessing over the numbers and performance of his store than his wife. Women need to be desired Candy…needed.”

She stared back into the mirror. The young woman in the wedding dress looked like a stranger; a stark contrast to the woman she’d become. The once striking figure filled with a youthful exuberance had now been weathered down by bills, mortgage payments, and a marriage that had long since lost its luster. Now no more a fiery, nubile vixen, she’d become one of them. In her desire to feel alive again, Candy had become one of the endless streams of wives and mothers who now vented about their love lives or lack thereof over Netflix binges, Pilates, and copious amounts of over-caffeinated, double-tall, soy what-the-fucks.

“I will say one thing though,” Marcus continued. “Although I have thoroughly enjoyed our encounters together, the fact that you allowed yourself to get pregnant with another man’s child after all the years of not being able to conceive with Harper is pretty fucked up. Pretty fucked up indeed.”

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!” she screamed, spinning around in his direction.

Nothing. Only a bare wall was seen. Marcus had vanished as if he were never there; only the scent of his cologne lingered in the air.

“I do,” Happy said with a smile to Candy as a tear fell from his eyes.

“I DO…”

The words fell into the pit of her stomach with the force of a suicide dive. The guilt burning her very existence, she felt almost as if she were about to vomit. She hadn’t heard those words in years but remembered the moment as if it were yesterday. Staring back at the mirror, Candy couldn’t hold back the tears as she saw the face of her brand new husband smiling back at her. It came as a surprise to no one in the months that followed how close they’d grown as a couple…up to the day they exchanged vows.

Sweet oblivion. Pure, sweet, uncorrupted oblivion…that’s what she tasted like on our first night together, and he dined on her soul like a madman in the most beautiful prison in which there was no escape. Candace Rhodes was her name…’Candy’, as he liked to call her, and man did she ever taste like the sweetest candy on Earth. He was truly a man living the most beautiful and picturesque life…but unfortunately, that all seemed like ages ago. Fast forward to several years later…

“How’s my girl doing?” the voice called to her.

Forcing herself to look back at the mirror, she was surprised to see him standing there…and staring right back at her. Utterly dashing and incredibly handsome in his tuxedo, Harper Downman looked back into the eyes of his one true lady love with hope along with intense joy. She’d never looked so beautiful in his eyes than on that day.

“I now pronounce you two husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride…”

The priest’s words echoed through her, Happy flashed her a wink and blew her a divine kiss.

“Don’t worry my love,” he said. “We’ll make it work somehow. I promise. Just stay positive.”

Tears streaming down her face, Candy could feel her heart aching as she fell to the floor.

“Oh my God…what have I done?” she screamed.

“I’ll always love you Candace,” Happy whispered before his reflection disappeared from the mirror. “You know that babe. I’ll always love you.”

Crouching into a ball of despair and regret on the cold, barren surface of the bathroom floor, all she wanted to do was find the strength to run to New Orleans and find Happy. Somehow, she wanted desperately to tell him how sorry she was for everything that happened. Maybe things could be like they were when they first started. Maybe they could once again be the vibrant, youthful, and carefree lovers they’d always hoped to be.

Maybe he wasn’t still angry. Maybe somehow, someway…there was still hope. It was that hope that somehow kept the flames of guilt raging within her. With a wave of tears hanging on by a thread before succumbing to their fate on the floor, it was truly the loneliest she’d ever felt in her entire life. Next to her on the floor was the sight of the pregnancy test. Unfortunately, this was not a part of the dream. This was real.

Fuck me. I’m not overreacting…not at all. I didn’t speak so soon. This part wasn’t some crazy dream brought on by guilt over my cheating on my husband. Can’t be right at all…but yes, it was right. One more time just to be sure. Just check the strip. Oh my god…fuck me…

***

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART EIGHTEEN...