Let's Roll the Dice

Grabbing a pack of 'kinky love dice' always seemed to be the go-to piece of advice found in the sealed section of the cosmopolitan magazines I read when I was younger. They seemed like a sure-fire way to spice things up in the bedroom and came in so many different ways to play.

The idea behind them is to increase foreplay between the couple using them. Each partner takes turns in rolling and performing the acts described on the sides facing up. The most commonly found sets contain two dice with one dictating which body part to pay attention to and the other describing how.

Over time, the options have expanded. Some sets have tiny drawings of different sex positions for the couple to act out, others have rooms of the house listed to decide where you will be playing that evening. Even light BDSM instructions have made their way into the game, offering suggestions for body parts to spank or restrain.

For those of out there who are not too comfortable with doing sexy things with the lights on, these dice have you covered too! Quite a few sets come in a glow in the dark option so the fun can continue, even in a blackout!

They really do think of everything!

I think the appeal for games like these comes from couples looking for a way to spice things up without needing to do much thinking or planning. If you are in a little bit of a rut, having the fates decide how you play with your partner is a great way to get started. The randomness can break the ice and offer up scenarios you may not have tried yet. They are easily found anywhere that sells novelty items and are super cheap!

But in my experience, the dice get pretty awkward, pretty quickly. Some combinations just do not work together. It's difficult to feel sexy when you are given instructions to pinch their eyes or to blow in their navel. Sometimes the sex positions suggested are awkward and clunky. You may try a few new ones out only to realize your husband just doesn't bend that way...

The exciting evening you planned falls apart. You are left staring awkwardly at your partner in a candle lit room, being mocked by the saxophone from your smooth jazz playlist. The tiny new piece of red floss they mistakenly labeled as underwear is not coming off any time soon and will continue to creep further up your butt crack as you figure out what to do next.

So, you end up giving up and have sex in the same way you always do and call it a night.

Unfortunately, many of the other options on the market foster the same results. Many are in the form of card games and mimic the style of truth or dare. They are way better than the dice in terms having instructions that make sense. The pitfall is that some instructions are really vague and can leave some couples fumbling their way through while they figure out what they are doing.

For example, one instruction card may read "grab an ice cube and help your partner cool off." Temperature play is great fun to explore but the card doesn't offer any guidance on how. Where on the body does the ice go? Do we just rub it everywhere and hope for the best? Welp, putting an ice cube directly on the balls with no warning isn't the way to go. I wish I knew that before I ran around the house, half-naked, grabbing the ice tray.

My suggestion for a better alternative would be "Hold an ice-cube in your mouth for 30 seconds. Remove the ice-cube. Lightly lick your partner's inner thighs with your cold tongue, moving slowly towards their genitalia. Once they're used to the temperature change, swirl your tongue over their most intimate areas."

It may seem like a lot, but it definitely provides more direction. It also implies temperature play is something you build on rather than something used to shock the system. The aim of the game is to provide pleasure and to turn your partner on, building sensitivity for the next thing.

I personally think sexy games are a brilliant way to explore things with your partner. I just wish there were more options available that offered a smooth experience. My husband and I have been chatting about making a game ourselves. One with more detailed instructions that takes the guesswork out of foreplay for other couples.

I'm hoping I have more to share with you soon on this! :)