Embrace the Mess!

Let's face it, having your period is bloody awful! Every month we go through a clusterfuck of cramps, crying and stressing about bleeding through our clothes in public. We dull it down with chocolate, a butt tonne of ibuprofen and heat packs that never feel hot enough.

Could just be me, I wasn't blessed with a pain free, 3-day long period that I barely notice. Trust me, I notice that bitch.

But I will say, one thing that has made my monthly cycle suck a whole lot less is sex! If you haven't tried it yet, I highly recommend that you do!

It's a hard thing for a lot of people to wrap their heads around because it's drummed into us quite early on that periods are disgusting and something that needs to be hidden. As women, we're also made to feel like our vaginas are broken. If you mention that Aunt Flow is in town, everyone rushes to whack up an "OUT OF ORDER" sign on your forehead and declare it National Blow Job Week.

Honey, I'm here to tell you that you are not broken. You are a fierce woman, just doing womanly things. Your body deserves to be worshipped, every damn day of the month! And there are so many options available to you to make you feel good!

First things first, is it safe to have sex on your period? Absolutely it is! I had my period for years before I figured out that I could do everything as normal on my period. The only difference was, well, I had my period. It is a real shame that no one really points that out either. You will still need to use protection though! Your period does not protect you from sexually transmitted diseases and you can still fall pregnant while you have your period. Those little spermies can hang around for a while in there, just waiting for an egg. Please use protection every time you have sex!

The next obvious thing that needs to be addressed is the mess! Is period sex messy? Sometimes. Honestly, it varies. It depends on you and your body, how heavy your flow is, where you are in your cycle, what kind of sex you have etc. I've had instances where it goes everywhere and instances where it goes nowhere, and you don't even notice.

If the mess is something that really stresses you out, there are work arounds! You can have sex in the shower for easy clean up. You can lay out some towels on the bed that can just be chucked in the wash. I know some couples that have designated period sex towels. There are also special blankets you can purchase that are designed to catch everything without ever soaking through to the bed underneath! A brilliant investment if you are also a squirter and don't want to be sleeping in the wet patch.

If you're only interested in stimulating the clitoris, you can simply leave your tampon or moon cup in! Even if you orgasm, they won't shoot across the room, I promise! If you're playing with a partner, you can leave them in during the foreplay stage and remove them just before any penetration begins, to minimise any mess. Just remember to remove them! It's no fun fishing for a lost tampon that is beyond your reach.

For solo play, you could use a vibrator over the top of a pair of period underwear. Same goes for using your hands or grinding on a pillow! You'd be surprised at how much you can feel through those things.

I also want to take a second to point out that there isn't much that can't be cleaned up. Please don't stress! Sheets can be washed; bedding can be changed, and bodies can be scrubbed in the shower! If your partner's face and hands are covered in your juices, good! Means they're doing something right and that's what soap is for. Wash each other down in the shower afterwards, you might even end up going for round two!

Finally, why? Why should you be having sex on your period? I personally prefer sex on my period. For me, it feels more intense. It's almost like all the nerves in that area are more sensitive and responsive to stimuli. Couple that with the fact that a lot of women say that they are hornier during their period than at any other point of their cycle!

I can definitely say that I am one of those women! I end up insanely horny every period and if I don't get laid, I get super mega cranky! The problem is, I often don't even realise that is why I'm cranky until the after the fact. My husband is always the first to point it out; if my tone is very bitey he says something like "Oh, you need to get laid, I think that's what your problem is!" and I tell him to piss off. And every single time, without fail, I am a happy little princess that loves life afterwards. I'll learn one day.

My husband also makes it very obvious that he's excited whenever my period rolls around. I asked him last night how he felt about it, and he says, "the messier, the better!" He embraces the raw and primal nature of it all. He's also a wonderful man who offers internal massages, even if he's not getting laid, just to help relieve my cramps!

Reaching the Big-O™ has been proven to reduce the pain from menstrual cramps! Orgasms release all kinds of feel-good chemicals into your body that can act as pain relievers and mood boosters. It has also been suggested that orgasms can reduce the length of your period. This is due to the fact that the muscle contractions are helping to 'flush out' the uterine contents faster. You also sleep better to boot!

Don't let your period put your sex life on hold! You deserve to feel pleasure whenever your body desires. Whether it is with a partner or you're taking advantage of some well-deserved alone time, explore your body while it's menstruating, you may be surprised at how good you feel afterwards!