You Came Back!

The aquarium outside the local general store has been there for decades. 

It stands tall in the little garden. The city has been maintaining it well. The turtles, fishes, stones and plants in it may be different from time to time, but I remember standing next to the same aquarium as a child many times when my mother went in to shop. 

Things were different back then. It was much safer. Sometimes she would take me in and we would exit through the other door. 

Of course, the store is much busier now than it was back then. The population has also been growing in smaller towns. They have also built some benches for people to sit on. Outside there, a kid has also been selling ice cream and sandwiches near the aquarium. 

There is a homeless woman who has been sitting on the benches for the past year now. She is usually knitting. She will watch your items or kids for some change on your way out. Many shoppers had complained about her I heard, but management had allowed her to stay. They had conducted some background checks and she came out clean.

She is just a human being going through some rough patch. Many of us have too. She also wasn't hurting anyone. And homelessness is a reality of our times. 

"If you don't want to see it, you should do something about it," the manager had said. 

She is always neat. Unless you look too hard, you wouldn't even notice she is homeless. The woman also adds some value and has ingeniously created a source of income for herself. She is also lovely and engages you in some pleasant chitchat as you transact. 

She lives in a shelter. On a good day, she told me she has been making at least sixty dollars. After spending on her living expenses, she saves most of it and plans to find a cheap apartment. After, she plans to buy a sewing machine and will use the apartment to repair clothes for people. Maybe even have some original designs too. She will use the same spot to advertise her new business. Her mother was a seamstress and she learnt it from her. 

I have saved her contacts and plan to help her purchase the sewing machine when she hits her goal. I haven't told her yet. 

I usually leave my daughter with her when I go in to shop. 

"You need to stop exposing Ella to your traumas Jon!" my wife scolded me several times when she learnt about it. " She does not deserve it. You need to heal and move on." 

I didn't answer her. 

I'm not sure why I do it. All of it. I haven't found any answers at a personal level yet. Is it to test myself? To re-live my childhood? To recreate it? To help the woman? 

Often when my mother left me at the spot, I would count the fish and the turtles. I had even given them names. Many times I would notice when some had been replaced. I always imagined they had died which made me sad. I thought of them as my friends. With our lifestyle, it was hard to make any friends. 

My mother collected cans and bottles for a living. She would drag me along from waste bin to waste bin to dig them out. When she couldn't reach one, she would lift me up and ask me to dig it out. 

I loved my mother and I loved helping her out. She would pat my head and call me a good boy after I had helped her. She was very gentle and quiet. She never spoke much even when back in our trailer. Sometimes when she left me at the aquarium, she would come back with a handful of candy for me. She said it was a thank you for helping her get the bottles. I would munch them with joy. 

I was six. It was early Saturday morning. After selling the cans we had collected for the week, my mother had taken me to the store. She had left me at the usual spot. I was watching the fishes swim and was even talking to them I imagine. I had been so distracted, I hadn't noticed that my mother had taken too long to come back out. 

After waiting a little longer, I had gone in and spoken with the cashier. She had called the police. 

That is the last time I ever saw my mother. 

I lived in foster care. I studied hard at school and managed to get a higher educated. I had no choice. It was the ticket out of my misery. I am a freelance auditor now. My job allowed me to move back to the town of my early childhood. That's where I met my wife. 

I usually go shopping at the same store that my mother took me to. And I usually leave my daughter at the same spot with the same aquarium. 

My daughter doesn't care for the fishes and turtles. She prefers to talk to the woman. They do share a trait. They are both very chatty. I think she enjoys being left with her. 

Every time I come out Ella runs from the woman, hugs me and tells me, 

"Daddy, you came back!" 

"Yes, I did!" I tell her as I hold her hand and we walk to the car. "Yes, I did!"